Were you psychologically abused into going to meetings/service ???

by run dont walk 25 Replies latest jw friends

  • run dont walk
    run dont walk

    we have all read and watched so many of the child abuse / sexual abuse scandals, and it makes us all sick to our stomachs, I want to touch on a different kind of abuse, I am NOT trying to draw a parellel between child abuse and being abused.

    The abuse I am talking about is just as bad but so different.

    I remember growing up a JW, basically having NO choice, whether I wanted to go to the meetings or in service, and I always resented this in my parents. I envied friends who had their weekends to sleep in, play hockey, watch cartoons etc.

    I wonder (probaly 100 %) how many of us were abused/forced into going, Anyime I missed a meeting or field service, it was more chores and taken off my allowance. And a big yelling session , and had to sit and read a publication out loud for an hour, anytime I wanted something alittle on the expensive side, I had to make sure not to miss any meetings for about a month or I wouldn't get it.

    I knew SO many people that couldn't wait to turn 18 and move out or get married just to get out of the house.

    I guess we should call this psychological abuse.

    My dad has been passed away for along time now, if he was alive today, man would I let him have it. (he was never a JW)

  • shotgun
    shotgun

    Me too RDW

    A constant verbal attack to go in service and meetings....Now I've got a loving wife doing the same damn thing, it just never stops.

  • Phantom Stranger
    Phantom Stranger

    No, that was how they got me to eat veggies (semi-seriously).

    Mine was pretty much guilt, not overt punishment. Pressure and manipulation, but it worked, so the rest wasn't needed... I was a "good kid".

  • blacksheep
    blacksheep

    "My dad has been passed away for along time now, if he was alive today, man would I let him have it. (he was never a JW)"

    Although my dad's still alive, I can totally relate. I've let him have it a couple of times, sort of half-heartedly. He uses the "united front" excuse. Personally, I think he wanted to just bow out of involved parenting and saw the strict JW rigid rules as an easy way to raise your kids (of course, HE wasn't a believer).

    I hated field service, and my mom constantly gave me a hard time about my attitude (I never openly expressed it). I should WANT to go out in service. Didn't happen. As I got older I missed quite a few meetings by feigning illness. I got harranged for that too, esp when my mom realized I wasn't missing any school or work. I remember our being on vacation and my dad telling me that I couldn't do anything else until I went out in service with my mother (real swell vacation pastime). I felt it was pretty much abuse then.

    Now having two small children myself, I DEFINATELY see dragging them to meetings, service, assemblies, would be abuse (not only for them, but for ME!) No wonder so many JW women are depressed. Geeze! Trying to keep them quite, clean, dressed appropriately, awake, etc., during all those boring, non-child friendly events has got to be something short of a miracle. Then getting home from evening meetings at 9:30 or 10:00, with the kids all wound up...no thanks!!!

    I think it's not at all a normal life for a child.

  • dancnfool_60
    dancnfool_60

    TRUE SO TRUE........

    I dont think any of us had a normal childhood or even adulthood. I had a good friend who HAD to go in service every saturday. Her dad (the PO) would tell them if they were sick he wanted to see the proof in a jar.....so if they puked or had the runs they had to bottle it as proof to stay home......

    SICK SICK SICK

    LIFES TO SHORT...DANCE NAKED & WIGGLE YOUR ASS

    DF_60

  • blacksheep
    blacksheep

    "I had a good friend who HAD to go in service every saturday. Her dad (the PO) would tell them if they were sick he wanted to see the proof in a jar.....so if they puked or had the runs they had to bottle it as proof to stay home......"

    OMG. What about having menstrual cramps (one I used). Would a used tampon suffice?

    Sick indeed. Just reinforces the fact that meetings and service, to most kids ARE *punishment*. And most parents know it.

  • dancnfool_60
    dancnfool_60

    blacksheep......

    mestrual cramps were not a valid reason, he figured you could do calls and sit most of the time in the car.....(SERVICE NAZI)

    LIFES TO SHORT...DANCE NAKED & WIGGLE YOUR ASS

    DF_60

  • sens
    sens
    I wonder (probaly 100 %) how many of us were abused/forced into going

    Yer But With Me it was more like emotional blackmail....

    "everyone will say your slipping back...''

    ''sister x will say ''see i told u she was no good and Jehovah is weeding her out''...don't give her the satisfaction, make more effort''

    etc ... etc ... etc.

    3 Sens 4

  • Soledad
    Soledad
    He uses the "united front" excuse. Personally, I think he wanted to just bow out of involved parenting and saw the strict JW rigid rules as an easy way to raise your kids (of course, HE wasn't a believer

    my father was the exact same way. and I HATED how my mom would force me to the meetings and field service. she would also force me into commenting at the meetings by nudging me HARD with her elbow; it was so obvious to everyone. still makes me mad everytime I think about that.

  • blondie
    blondie

    Well, I was motivated by abuse not to stay home alone with my non-JW child molesting father. If the choice was the meeting, or staying home alone with him, it was no-brainer.

    Blondie

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