"If your husband is not a Witness, then the elders are your head."

by berylblue 19 Replies latest jw friends

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  berylblue

  The woman with whom I studied confided in an elder that she'd had lovers during her marriage (Why on earth did she do that?). The elder told her that even though it was well in the past, she had to tell her husband. Her husband was holding a glass when she told him and he crushed the glass with his hand and started to beat her. Great advice, Brother C.

  I had had affairs too, but the last t hing I felt I needed to do was tell an elder, much less my husband. I'd had enough of "confession" as a Catholic.
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  minimus

  Rosemarie, I think RR was just trying to be funny...... You're correct about your comment on the elders taking over. You see, the elders are told by the Society that "they" have a special responsibility to care for those without a "spiritual head". They sorta look at themselves as your "daddy" and your children's "daddy". Then they can "tell you what's best"!......So, who's your daddy??? Is it Hamas?
• 

  berylblue

  You're right, I over reacted. Sorry, RR.

  Hamas? You wanna be my "spiritual head" ?
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  simplesally

  Thank God I never let that happen. I went to pioneer school and the CO said that the married man is head of one woman...........his own wife, that if he was single he was the head of no one.

  Now, don't get me wrong, I did have elders, ms and brothers try to boss me around most of the time I repeated what the CO said. When it came to matters of their opinion, I would just say, "Good thing you are not my husband." But I said it with a smile and walked away.

  There were some issues that the elders did tell me what to do, like when my ex left and he was abusive and they told me since he was a brother, I had to do everything in my power to get him back in my house. I, stupidly, did what they said and went and got him. But in most matters I was smart enough to know their boundaries and they knew I knew it.
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  Hamas

  I can maybe be some sort of head, dick head comes to mind

  ...but It certainly can't be spiritual ! lol .... But I'd love to be it, if you want.... but I might lead you astray, bad association spoils useful habbits and all that

  ... and of course theres that huge stumbling block of me being from a 'spiritually divided household' !

  ....but just give the chance, hun !!
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  teenyuck

  Isn't it amazing, that with that attitude, so many women join the WTS, as adults?

  I don't get it....they are on the outside; in the world....they have freedom. They join this cult that promotes making them second class citizens. And they fully accept it; for themselves and their daughters.

  After my mother watched her grandmother treated like a demon (she was an EVIL SLAVE) and a second class citizen, her mother left when she was 12, etc. She still elected to join the dubs at age 24....just as women were becoming really liberated in the US, in the mid 1960's. She knew all about the way they treated women.

  She chose to be *submissive*. For herself and for my sister and I. Now she says she hates the concept and the word and the way the WTS treats women. Yet she chooses to stay. And be submissive.
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  minimus

  teenyuck, most people just stay. And that's it. People do it at work, at home, in relationships, in religion. I know of an 85 year old married JW couple that hate each other and have not gotten along in all theie married years. They'll die together. You get my point???
• 

  berylblue

  Isn't it amazing, that with that attitude, so many women join the WTS, as adults?

  Yes, teeny.

  I joined because I wanted to see my mother again and to give my daughters and myself life forever in paradise.

  I figured Jehovah would set everyone straight as far as the treatment of women.
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  LittleToe

  I brought this issue up with my wife recently (she's still Pioneering ).
  She said that Jehovah is now her head, since I DA'ed.
  I conveniently reminded her that she's missed a step (1Cor.11:3 - Christ, for those who no longer possess bibles), and that the congregation or her family, are nowhere to be found as taking over that role.
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  Englishman

  I never did subscribe to the headship thing, it was one of the JW beliefs that I instinctively knew was wrong. The others were disfellowshipping and the FDS. I felt like that even as a child and my viewpoint never changed, I just shelved it all for a while.

  Englishman.