Greeting Cards for JW Situations -- Let's Get Creative!

by cruzanheart 17 Replies latest jw friends

  • cruzanheart
    cruzanheart

    Following a train of thought started by metatron, I think someone should start a line of greeting cards, a la Hallmark, just for JWs and those oh-so-sticky situations. My first idea was this:

    [ARTIST'S RENDITION OF ARMAGEDDON ON COVER]

    Just a note to let you know . . .

    That you're being shunned!

    Now get your butt back to meetings!

    Love, [NAME]

    * * *

    [PHOTO OF BLEAK WHEAT FIELD IN WINTER]

    So you're reinstated?

    BIG DEAL!

    You still can't be considered "normal" for at least a year.

    Have a happy day!

    * * *

    Okay, fellow unbelievers, your turn! (And I'll bet you computer wizards out there can come up with something more eye-catching than my bracketed non-photos.)

    Nina

  • RunningMan
    RunningMan

    How about a picture of a guy holding a glass of blood in one hand, a gnawed human thigh in the other, and a red moustache, with the caption "Happy Memorial".

    Or perhaps "contratulations on your baptism" under a picture of a convict with a ball and chain attached.

  • outnfree
    outnfree

    RunningMan,

    I think your first image is more like "Happy Eucharist!"

    Don't you KNOW that the bread only "means" Christ's body, and the blood only "means" Christ's blood????? (Never mind that only Paul's letter says so. The gospels say "is"...) And, anyway, does anyone actually KNOW anyone who partakes? Methinks most of them are at Bethels worldwide....

    Nina,

    Lessee....

    [Photo of JW Family out in field service with Burger King sign looming in the background]

    After you've done it MY way, says Jehovah, you know you can all go get it done YOUR way!

    Enjoy your break!

    outnnotatallcreative

  • blacksheep
    blacksheep

    How about this (from a former spouse):

    "Congratulations! You are officially free to scriptually remarry. I confess to committing fornication, as outlined in one or more of the activities listed below:

    ___Straight male/female genitalial sex

    ___Male/female anal/oral/misc sex***

    ___Homosexual acts (including but not limited to: oral/anal/misc)

    ___Bestiality***

    ****Please consult your local governing body to determine whether this actually qualifies "fornication" which would scriptually free you to remarriage.

    (I know many a separated/divorced JW who would have loved to get this card!)

  • mouthy
    mouthy

    A few years ago I received a Christmas card for an ex JW -On the front of the card was a Christmas tree with all the trimmings In Big letters it said THIS IS A TREE!!!! When you opened it up It showed the same tree-but the family was all kneeling down to it ...It said THIS IS WORSHIP ( we dont do that!!!
    I thought it good.

  • concerned mama
    concerned mama

    There actually is this one. From a normal person to a witness.

    http://www.brumm.com/cards/happybirthdayjehovahswitness.html

    I posted it a long time ago, but no one seemed to find it amusing.

    I really did send it too, and nope, he really didn't find it funny either. lol

  • SanFranciscoJim
    SanFranciscoJim

    My all-time favorite Christmas card:

  • Phantom Stranger
    Phantom Stranger

    How about for new 20-year-old parents?

    Congratulations to the loving newlywed couple on the birth of their nine-pound, five-ounce"premature" baby - only seven months after the honeymoon! How happy and blessed you must be!

  • cruzanheart
    cruzanheart

    Concerned mama, I LOVED that card!!! Wish I'd gotten one when I was a JW [*pout*]. And I love the Xmas card, SanFranciscoJim!

    Nina

  • Mulan
    Mulan

    Great ideas. Concernedmama, I loved it.

    The Santa reading the WT (or Awake) is priceless. And about the worshipping the tree, great idea. Hmmm.

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