Some here may have noticed that recently TeeJay and I got into it a little bit on a thread I started about the locking of threads. About two years ago Teejay and I got into it a few times in other threads. As much as I thought TeeJay was an intelligent guy and I have always gotten a kick out of his sarcastic sense of humor I still thought he loved to stir things up and take a few unnecessary jabs at people simply for the sake of jabbing them and causing trouble.
TeeJay called me tonight. We talked for about an hour. We got a lot of misunderstandings straightened out about issues such as how things are perceived on this board. We also talked about how much he has frustrated me because I could always see that he was an intelligent guy but I thought he use that intelligence to mess with the wrong people. I was a wrong people. I admitted to him that even though he frustrated me I got a big kick out of how he could come back at me as quickly and artfully as I went at him. Half the time he had me pissed off and the other half he had me laughing my butt off. The guy is damn good at the mess'n part and I admire that more than it has pissed me off.
In our conversation tonight we laughed more than anything else. We both think JCannon has a hand puppet for a brain.
One of the more serious things we talked about was the inner dynamics of this board. How someone can say something and people can take it one of two ways. Since it is so hard to know everything about every one on this board it is hard to understand ambiguous statements that are made and being left to taking it one way or the other I have been taking it in a negative way when it had been said by TeeJay. For that, I am deeply sorry and I very humbly apologize. TeeJay is going to try and make things a little clearer when he asks question so guys like me don't read the wrong things into him.
We also talked about how some like me saw him in a mostly negative light but also had an admiration for many of his sensitive and insightful posts. It got back to the old saying of it's not always what you say but how you say it that counts and we also added, it sometimes depends on where another persons head is at when a statement is made. Seeing TeeJay in a negative light made me see the statements that could be taken one of two ways slide to the negative side. That always confused me because it has always been apparent to me that TeeJay has a huge heart and is a very caring person. I couldn't understand how a guy who could write so beautifully and showed his big heart to some, could be such a jerk at times. I think now that a good part of that was his delivery. Not only that but it is how I saw his delivery in a negative light
To keep this post short and get to the point, I have been unfair with TeeJay and for the first time he understands why. Even though we have had our differences we have always had some mutual respect for each other. That respect lead to us having a very open conversation that I think will be the beginning of a good friendship. We are not going to assume things about what each other says and we are going to be more open and ask each other questions so that we can get the full meaning and understanding of what a couple old smart asses are trying to say to each other. We're still going to try and out smart ass each other from time to time, but now it will be done in a completely different light. It's kind-a like a hobby for us and we do it well.
I still told him he had his head up his ass and we both laughed and he now can understand why I said it. I also apologized for saying it. As in most cases of rectal perspective it takes one to know one. In the last thread we were in that was eventually locked, that was also the case with me. It can be pretty dark in there.
I feel that we both understand each other a lot more now. I understand why he asked the questions he ask me because he was able to fill me in on why he asked it. If I was really smart all I would have had to do is ask him to explain the question a little more and that thread where I embarrassed myself could have been avoided. I don't do well on ten hours of sleep in for days so I was a bit edgy.
I have talked to many people from this board on the phone an I have always enjoyed it. I do have to say that this conversation I had with TeeJay tonight was definitely one of the best. He's really a good man.
I highly recommend that if someone here has a real problem with someone else, if at all possible, talk to them on the phone. There is noting like the sound of a real voice to help see things a lot clearer.
Dave