Ritchie
That may be just the thing to close her mind further.
"No one can tell you what the matrix is, Neo. You have to see it for yourself."
They're turning up the heat
by Winston Smith :>D 46 Replies latest jw experiences
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A Paduan
Tell her that you will love her whether she is well or ill, rich or poor, in good times and in bad times, whether she is good or bad, right or wrong, and whether she is jw or not.
Will they love and care for her if she is jw or not? Either they get to own her they way they want, or they won't want her around.
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Winston Smith :>D
Hi all,
I don’t have time to comment on everyone’s posts, but I want you all to know that I have read all of them over more than once.
All of the comments are good here. Basically because of the type of person that my wife is, I need to use a low-key approach with her and just reassure her that I love her. She responds well to this. Bringing up any type of confrontation makes her put on the ‘Super-Borg’ armour.
What anna –banana said will most likely be the route I have to take.
Thankfully, he didn't try to persaude me to his views - it would have alienated me from him. I did ask him what was on his mind sometimes, but I didn't 'get it’.
We still had enough in common outside the WTS to have a good marriage.
It's only in recent years, that on my own, I decided to look into the stuff he did.
If I show her anything about the different translations or other doctrinal issues, it will be a moot point to her. She doesn’t really care about that. She has told be that she has gotten nothing out of the two Isaiah books that we studied. She admitted to being completely lost during these book studies. I would have been bored out of my skull if I was here. Come to think of it, I understood most of it and was still bored out of my skull at those studies.
So three updates:
- the part where she said that ‘if it weren’t for the truth, she would have divorced me’. It’s not as much as a threat as it sounds; really. We have had a hard time the first few years of our marriage, and just having a couple of good friends in the Troof to talk to has helped us get through things. We have talked about this in the past and have admitted as much to each other. If we didn’t have the Troof, it was reasoned that we wouldn’t have those people and therefore wouldn’t have been helped by anyone in the ‘world’. I talked to her about it again and she confirmed that is what she meant.
- the ‘super happy’ turnaround by herself with me the day after the big discussion was her trying to fit in ‘fun time’ before Aunt Flow came by for her monthly visit. We haven’t fought in a while, so her trying to make-up before she surfed the Crimson Wave hasn’t been done in a while either. I just forgot how to pick up on the signs of that unspoken dance. We talked about that also and we are really cool now.
- we had another talk a few days ago again about my beliefs. She is dropping signs to me saying that she needs assurance that if she leaves the ‘Troof’ with me, that there is something better out there in serving God. She dropped some hints about this, then came flat out and said, “I know you’re not stupid, and that if you were leaving the Truth, I know that you would have a plan. What’s your plan? What have you have you found better?” She will act on emotional reasons and also with something better to move into. She doesn’t want to be in limbo if she would leave the Troof it sounds like.
I’ll try to keep you posted. Work is a zoo right now, so time is tight. The elders haven’t said anything in a few days, but I’m thinking that only a week can go by now before one of the three [yes, two elders have been meeting regularly with me, and now a third has called on the phone] will touch base with me.
I really appreciate eveyone’s input on this. It has been helpful. At times I feel like I am ignoring some’s advice here, which is not intended at all. But I honestly think that showing her any info that overtly puts the WTS in doubt would make her put the protective wall up. She has asked how I have come to the conclusions that I have RE: the F&DS not being the WTS, and I told her the book of Romans and Galatians are really good reads to see how things really worked in the 1 st century congregation. She for the first time didn’t balk at this. Maybe we can read these books together and dissect them ourselves or on her own. I’m just trying to slow the momentum down here, be as non-confrontational as possible with her and the death squad elders, and be as loving as possible. Things are a changing in our congregation in the near future, so time is on my side. Plus I believe that ‘true unconditional love’ will always win over ‘love’ that is instilled by fear and hate
Thank you,
Winston.
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Nosferatu
Winston, here's a story I read that was really touching, and it may give you some help. It's a long read, but it's worth it:
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Nosferatu
I'll be damned..... I just figured out that this is Amazing's experience!
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shamus
Winston,
I apologize for missing this thread for so long... I can't imagine what you are going through right now. Just hope that you are okay, and things work out for you!
Shamus
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AnnOMaly
LOL @ "Aunt Flow " & "surfing the Crimson Wave ".
I've never heard those expressions b4!
Glad things turned out OK with you and your wife, Winston.
Best wishes.
anna-banana