No, no, no. They are not kissing; they're hugging either an invisible woman...or an invisible Dr.Frankenfurter.
Do words that "just slip out" reflect true feelings?
by happyout 37 Replies latest social current
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teejay
Six,
Wow.
Your exegesis was at least three times longer than the article itself that Happyout cited. Quite impressive, though I admit to at first being a bit stunned at how you could arrive at so many unsubstantiated conclusions. Yet I recovered from that initial reaction, gathered myself enough to read your analysis of what was most likely Ms. Deck's thought process in using the term "Little Sambo," and have since reasonably come to the conclusion that, with nary an exception, you are probably 100% correct.
I think it was where you suggested that, since "Sambo" is so "mild on the list of derogatory racial names," those who feel slurred by the term are most likely overly sensitive and are simply looking for ways to be offended. After all, shouldn't they wake up and realize that the term has fallen far out of favor among those whose aim it is to degrade people of color, preferring instead the "n" word you used? I mean, come on! It *is* 2003! "Sambo" is so passé... right up there with "colored" (which I actually heard said to me the other day). Then too, wasn't there once a restaurant chain by the name of "Sambos"? What's in a name, anyway?
I also agree with your point that "a racial designation was evidently needed to make whatever point it is she was making." No question... using the person's name would've been out of the question. And why use their name or refer to them by the color or kind of garment they were wearing when a simple "Little Sambo" would more easily differentiate them from the group? Duh! This ain't rocket science, people.
"CNN's beautifully sparse informational style" left most of us unable to speak with conviction as to what actually went on, but your ability to fill in the gaps -- without credible evidence -- is certainly something to wonder at. It was quite impressive, I might also add, that you reminded us of where Ms. Deck's remark was made -- in a teacher's conference, not a classroom -- indicative of the harmlessness of her intent and the openness of her motives. Quite a masterstroke on your part, I must say.
I agree: It would be good if news organizations dug further into little stories like this and then published their more detailed reports. But in lieu of their more comprehensive reporting, I, for one, am glad to have you here, Six, providing such marvelous analysis. Way to go, dude! -
happyout
TJ,
I will say it again, I love you.
Six,
I actually said we could agree to disagree, but I would appreciate it if you did not attempt to put me down. "And I think you've lost the plot to say such a thing, given the information you have or lack thereof. Perhaps her house should be egged? Maybe a snow flake barbie effigy hung in the front yard, give the racist bitch a little of her own medicine?" As I stated before, I believe a proper reaction would have been, at least, sensitivity training so that she doesn't make some comment like this in front of impressionable children. I don't know if you have gotten the mistaken impression that I am thin skinned, but let me assure you, if I feel I have been slurred, I was. Play dumb if you want to, but using any slur, regardless of how often the word is used, is WRONG, and will offend the person it is aimed at, just as intended.
There are certainly subjects that you and I can agree on Six, but evidently humor is not one of them. Your last comment wasn't funny, wasn't nice, and wasn't appreciated.
If you feel the need to communicate further, please PM me as I will not respond to any other posts by you on this thread.
Happyout
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SixofNine
Frankly teejay, I think you are a huge comical ego, short on good thinking and long on desire for virtual pats on the back from ... well.. anyone. Virtually everything you said in response to my post is an intentional (seemingly, anyway) hyperbolic misreading of my words. I could deconstuct your post, line by line, but I have not the need, desire, or time to look as you do to the online community. If I were to argue with you, I'd be argueing with a caricature of an ego the size of Arkansas, not a man. An argument with a giant comic book ego serves no point, because the heroic elephantine ego is not argueing for honest reasons.
It's sad really, and I may be wrong, but it's gotten to the point where when I see you mention your dear daughter in some touching scene of father/daughter love, I believe that you're aiming the spotlight squarely at yourself, with your daughter merely along as a stageprop. And I can't imagine what's happened to the dear wife (what has happened to the dear wife?). I don't even like my thinking that way, but I'm powerless to help myself, after watching your postings for the last couple of years.
If you'd kept your smarm separate from your meaness, teejay, my claws would not be out right now; neither quality is appealing, but on their own, occasionally understandable. As it is, when I see mean mixed with smarm, and I see it all the time from you, it's a bit more than I can sit still for.
Perhaps in the future, if you disagree with someone, you will simply lay out your disagreement specifically, with respect for the argument if not the person. Hell, say it sarcastically, even bitingly, I can certainly respect that if it makes a real point. But the smarmyness (of which my last words in this post will be, in mimic of you) ....that'll eventually just get you squashed like a bug, nobody likes it. Thanks for finally giving me license to vent, I've held it in for a very long time and thru several arguments with you. I won't be responding to your post in this thread after this, dead horses being what they are (dead, in case you need reminding), and all.
'preciate cha.
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SixofNine
There are certainly subjects that you and I can agree on Six, but evidently humor is not one of them. Your last comment wasn't funny, wasn't nice, and wasn't appreciated.
Well that's just the thing, isn't it? You may not have thought it was funny, you may not have appreciated it, but it was, I assure you, nice. If indeed humor is not something we can agree on, then we probably have far less in common than I might once have thought.
ps. your comment about me playing dumb is kind of ironic isn't it? I mean, by saying what you said after that, you are in a way "playing dumb" to my clear words stating that I could imagine a scenario in which this woman might not have been slurring anyone. Perhaps you missed, or don't agree with my thoughts that "just because you feel slurred, doesn't mean you have been". That seems self evident to me, but I can imagine that at least some people would take an almost oposite position, though I don't understand to what end they would do so. Some people really don't want to "just get along". I have less than no respect for those people.
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teejay
>>>>> I will say it again, I love you.
Back atcha, Sweetie. You know, don't you, that you made my day in more ways than one. ;-)
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Six,
Wow.
Interesting reading -- what you think of me. Ordinarily I'd reciprocate, but other than admitting that you lack and consistently demonstrate a certain level of insensitivity when it comes to matters of race (said lack on display in this, yet another thread) and a tendency to exaggerate the merits of your opinion while belittling that of others, IMO what I think of you is totally irrelevant to this topic and I see no point in expressing it ... but that's me.
You want that I should lay out my disagreement with your position more simply than what Happyout already has more than once? So be it.
Ms. Deck's lack of class, not to mention her lack of professionalism, was wrong, she knew she was wrong, and her act is indefensible. How's that?
That she was a teacher tells me that the years she spent acquiring her degree should have been enough to enlighten her to the impropriety of referring to someone in the manner and setting in which she did. Period. Make whatever excuses for her you will, IMO her terminology revealed a crass insensitivity at best and a latent racism at worst.
To answer Happyout's initial query: Yes, "Little Sambo" slipped because Ms. Deck was stoopid enough to let it slip; and yes, it revealed her true feelings. Sorry you didn't see that.
End of discussion. -
Happythoughts
Personally I feel that when someone is angry and they spout off angry feelings and thougts about you it's how they really feel deep down inside. Terrible huh? Most of the time they will try to make it right by saying they were just upset at the time an they never meant that... LOL
NOT TRUE ... they meant it
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wednesday
Just some ramdom thoughts .
As i woman, i can identify with my woman issues regardesss of color. As woman, we have all been held down and are a minority. so race is not important here.
As a teenager, i had boyfreinds, from the KH, people of all races. Race seemed unimportant then. We were in love.
As an adult, i find i am emapthic with men , probably more so than woman, at times. And i find they with me, All the managers i have had who were men were a lot less harsh , than woman i worked for.
I guess i'm asking, , does racism, have a gender issue? Are we less racist toward the opposite gender?
i wish i could remember the article, it was posted on this board. But it says that when u marry someone out of your race, u soon find out that all the squabbling and stuff has nothing to do with race.
As happy out said, u really do have to be in a minority to totally understand. Being raised in the south, and being Poor white, i have had my share of racial remaks, and slurs. it does hurt. It leaves u feeling less of a person.
One example i can think of that happened to me. I was in my 20's and we were poor. Not on welfare, but working poor. We had to go to Parkland Hospital, a county hospital for the indegent. so all of us, whites, blacks and hispanics, all sat in the waitng room together. B/c i was white, did not ganer me any favor. Really it worked to hinder me. the hospital workers seemed to feel ok with the other minority groups, but there was intense hate toward the poor whites. We were often verbally abused, and offered much less than standard helth care. They offered us less options in health care. The feeling and someimes it was actually expressed "u are white , u shoud be able to do better".
So my experience has been growing up working class poor in america. I have had people tell me there is much hatred toward the poor. I have seen it. I became a RN, and saw this all the time in the ER. people are sorted out by social class.
These are my feelings about what i saw growing up as a working class white. I now, have moved into middle class america, but have not forgotten how it felt to stand in those lines at Parkland.
Anyone who feels the need to tell that i'm wrong about my experiences shoudl note i have said they were my experiences and my feelings. Your experiences may vary.