Do words that "just slip out" reflect true feelings?

by happyout 37 Replies latest social current

  • happyout
    happyout

    While I may agree that we often say things we don't mean when we are angry or in a heated discussion, this lady was teaching a class. She was not arguing, or trying to defend her position. There is no indication that anyone was challenging her in any way. What could possibly have been her motivation?

    And, again, where had she ever heard this term if it was not in a demeaning fashion? I may not understand every slur out there, but I can darn sure tell when one is implied.

    The fact that she is a teacher further adds to the gravity. If she makes this kind of statement with no provocation, what else may she be saying, possibly to her students?

    Happyout

  • Special K
    Special K

    What about when spit flies out of your mouth.. what does that mean???? hehe

    Oh.. and I agree with Scully's answer...

    special k

  • Frannie Banannie
    Frannie Banannie

    We are living during a time when older people have not only a generation gap to deal with but also a gap in what's politically correct or acceptable in today's society and what WAS acceptable decades ago.....no matter how much we adjust our thinking, speaking and actions, our bodies and brains STILL have memories stored according to what was acceptable years ago.....and because of that, our bodies, minds and mouths will occasionally be triggered to "regurgitate" bits of stored data which are not acceptable in today's society.....which often shocks and stuns even the one who has thought, said or done something unacceptable.....

    IMHO,

    Frannie B

  • hillary_step
    hillary_step

    Freudian slips can indeed be very telling. I heard this one at an Assembly at which Milton Henschel closed in prayer some years ago :

    "Our Heavenly Father Jehovah, we approach you through your Organization.....'. He then quickly corrected himself.

    HS

  • happyout
    happyout

    Frannie,

    I understand what you mean by generational issues. Once when I was renting an apartment, the landlady (who was 90 if she was a day) reminisced fondly about another "colored" tenant she had had. I took it in stride, knowing she meant no harm.

    Again, however, I feel the circumstances are different. This lady is a teacher, and such terms should not "slip out". If she said this "unknowingly" in a seminar, what other types of things is she saying in the classroom to impressionable?

    Sorry if I seem to be beating a dead horse, I am just tired of people saying things that are inappropriate, and then getting put on "paid leave" . How is that a punishment? I would love to have paid leave. How about some sensitivity training? How about some cultural awareness?

    Happyout

  • SixofNine
    SixofNine

    I guess I'd be curious to know what you think her "true feelings" are, as you interpret them from this teacher in this circumstance who said "sambo"?

    This reminded me of the last time I remember hearing the word sambo (and remember, I go to comedy concerts where the word nigger is thrown out like confetti). It was in context of the chain restaurant that not so long ago was common thru out large parts of America:

    "This coffee shop is well known for their delicious buttery pancakes & the famous story of an encounter between a little boy named Sambo & the tigers. Although many years have passed since this nationwide restaurant chain closed its doors, it is fondly remembered. However, thanks to Chad Stevens, the Sambo's original location on the beach in California has been revived and is once again open for business
    All in all, it seems the sort of thing that should be handled in a parent teacher conference, as opposed to on CNN. Then again, it's a slippery slope ....
  • mustang
    mustang

    HS: Thanks for the totally classic example.

    As hillary_step pointed out, "Fraudian slips" can be very telling. Oops, I guess that just slipped out...

    Mustang

  • happyout
    happyout

    Six,

    I spoke with my mom (who is a teacher) about this, and asked her what she thought. She said it is very common in many school discussions she has been part of for people to imply that minority students are somehow less intelligent than whites. She works in what is now a largely latino area, and she said many of her white counterparts say things like, "you know THEY don't learn as well" or "THEY don't care about education". I am trying not to impose my thoughts on what may have been in this particular teacher's mind, but I have a difficult time believing she really didn't know the term "Sambo" is a slur.

    I know what you mean about comedy clubs, but I think 90% of what I have heard in them would be inappropriate in an academic environment, don't you agree?

    Maybe I just take this stuff too seriously because of the potential damage to children, I don't know. Or, maybe I am sick of politics and the like because of the California recall (since I live in CA), and her lame excuse sounded like Gray Davis . I would likely have had much less of a reaction if she had simply admitted her mistake without throwing in the somewhat unbelievable "didn't know what it meant"

    Happyout (who is willing to admit this is one of her buttons)

  • Frannie Banannie
    Frannie Banannie
    This lady is a teacher, and such terms should not "slip out". If she said this "unknowingly" in a seminar, what other types of things is she saying in the classroom to impressionable?

    Happyout, I "hear" where you're coming from....even if she's elderly somewhat, in a publicly responsible position of authority where she is mentoring schoolage children, she should certainly have examined the content of her discourse and edited in a more thoughtfully considerate way....on that I definitely agree. Perhaps her ability to do so was "out to lunch" if she is somewhat elderly, and the school authorities took that into consideration when applying discipline in this case....

    To be perfectly honest with you....and I rarely speak of these things for fear of giving unintentional offense and I'm probably going "out on a limb" by posting this....my family had a black woman who worked for us when I was small.....and to me, as a small child, since she was called "N..... Mary" by the rest of the fam....that's what her NAME was to me, without any consideration in my mind or heart as to her race or color.....

    And when I was in the first grade, my older sis took me downtown to the library on the city busline....segregation was still in effect, ergo, black people were supposed to sit in the back of the bus.....while I was somewhat aware of this as a fact of life, I didn't understand the "why" of it....consequently, when we got on a crowded bus heading for downtown and the only seat left after my big sis rushed to get the last available seat in the front of the bus, I took the only seat available to me in the bus....right behind the back door...next to a huge black man, who began to sweat profusely when I sat down next to him....my older sis began glaring and hissing at me to move, but I just looked at her like "DUHH!" and kept asking her "WHYYYYY?" She wouldn't answer me, so I didn't move....I really couldn't see any reason why such silliness existed anyway, so chose to ignore it......

    Had I been aware of the civil rights movement when it came, I would have probably been right in the middle of the "We Shall Overcome" demonstrations.....but I was too busy being a self-centered, irresponsible young teenager.....

    I do remember the books and movies, "Little Black Sambo" and "Song of the South" and others, as well, which have since been banned as disrespectful of black Americans.....I've never understood that.....to me, they were rich in fantasy and folklore.....stories to be treasured, for even at a young age, I was an avid reader....and I never viewed them as a slur against the black race....I loved Uncle Remus and his tales....and I loved Little Black Sambo's adventures.....I miss them, though I hated to see the way Uncle Remus was treated.....and I find it confusing that the book Little Black Sambo was banned for depicting his name as "black", yet in America today, black Americans (and I have yet to understand why the insistence on defining the color of an American when red, yellow, pink, beige, white, brown or black...Indian/Native, Asian, Irish, French, British, Italian, Polish, German, Norse, Hispanic or African of descent, we're ALL AMERICANS) insist on being called black- or Afro-Americans. If everyone in America followed this example, we would have Red, Yellow, Pink, Beige, White, Brown AND Black Americans, History, Beauty contests, etc. ad infinitum.......at the same time, I *know* there are those die-hard racists all OVER the place, of ALL different colors, races and backgrounds, and yet, I do understand the need to show special respect in some people's cases....and the need to verbally "slap down" others for their hard-line racist attitudes......just wish it wasn't necessary, either way.....

    Frannie B (of the run and duck for cover class)

  • happyout
    happyout

    Frannie,

    It is sort of a hard call with so much "classical" literature having racist terminology. I wish I had a good answer, but I don't. If you are not a minority, it may be impossible to understand how those terms can harm. Not that I think anyone should be mollycoddled, but I also don't think they should be demeaned. Things were very different just a short while ago, and the words that were accepted then aren't now. I'm sure it's harder, especially for the elderly (not that you are) to keep up with all the changes.

    And we are in 100% agreement on wishing that racial designations weren't used all the time. I don't know why it's always such a big deal. And I don't understand why all the changes ( I doubt you will ever hear me refer to myself as "African American") except that it is kind of an indication of a people in transition. For so long, so many minorities were made to feel inferior, and now I think some of them (blacks, latinos come to mind the fastest) are trying to shape their own descriptions. I understand the why, just not the path.

    Sometimes it is important to classify race, and also gender, just to understand the full situation. As in medical conditions, so called "racial profiling" , etc. I have no issue with that, and want to see those statistics used for the betterment (if there is such a word) of society.

    Anyway, nice to see that two such "different" looking people can be on the same basic page, huh?

    Happyout

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