Things Learned Along the Way (page 16)

Winston Smith :>D

"The best reasoning, and the most flawless logic, is of little value if it starts from false assumptions." ~ Sir Michael Howard, Historian

blondie

Good one, Paul.

Hell, there are no rules here--we're trying to accomplish something.

Thomas Alva Edison

There is no ideal Christmas; only the one Christmas you decide to make as a reflection of your values, desires, affections, traditions.
--Bill McKibben Author, Hundred Dollar Holiday: The Case For a More Joyful Christmas

What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
--Unknown

The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.
--Jay Leno

Illegal Alien

Illegal Alien Has Illegitimate Birth Baby Expected To Be Charged With Treason
By Harold Kitchenmouse

BETHLEHEM -- It was rumored today that an unmarried couple from Nazareth stopped in a manger owned by Alfredo Pinchi, a notorious local slumlord, and a baby was born.

"There was no running water, and the place was filled with straw," commented local public health authorities. "We even found a donkey inside!"

"The mother gave birth under extremely questionable circumstances," offered Pontius Pilate, Judean candidate for District Attorney. "She claims to have been a virgin."

Unconfirmed reports indicate that Roman authorities are investigating the baby on charges of sedition and treason. "There are a bunch of people running around alleging that the baby is the son of God," explained Pilate, "and that he will have some radical ideas about religion in the future."

Three Kings from the Orient were caught on the outskirts of Bethlehem by the Roman Border Patrol, carrying illegal contraband. "We caught them red-handed with frankincense and myrrh," explained an official with the Border Patrol. "And they didn't have any papers."

The Kings were promptly arrested and deported to Syria.

At virtually the same time as the baby was born, a bright star was sighted over Bethlehem. "This is an omen that things are about to radically change in the Empire due to Global Warming," commented Al Gore.

blondie

Carl Jung:

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens.
George Bernard Shaw:
Some men see things as they are and say, "Why?" I dream of things that never were and say, "Why not?"

got my forty homey?

The only absolute knowledge attainable by man is that life is meaningless---Tolstoy

blondie

Homey, pretty grim guy that Tolstoy. Maybe he knew what a grim end he was destined for.--Blondie

C.S. Lewis

Friendship is born at the moment when one person says to another "What! You too? I thought that no one but myself."

LittleToe

Blonde:I love your last few quotes.
Excellent!
Thank you.

blondie

Thanks, Little Toe, I enjoyed finding them and sharing them.

Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis:

If you bungle raising your children, I don't think whatever else you do well matters very much.
James Russell Lowell:
Mishaps are like knives, that either serve us or cut us, as we grasp them by the blade or the handle.

MegaDude

"A proverb is a short sentence based on long experience" - Miguel de Cervantes

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world." - Mahatma Gandhi

"When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other. Originality is deliberate and forced, and partakes the nature of a protest." - Eric Hoffer

Billygoat

Here is a couple of my faves:

"Adversity is the first path to truth." - George Gordon Byron (I LOVE THIS ONE!)

"Challenges are what make life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful." - Joshua J. Marine

"When you reach for the stars you may not quite get one, but you won't come up with a handful of mud either." - Leo Burnett

Things Learned Along the Way

Illegal Alien

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