How have you felt since you learned TTATT?

by tornapart 38 Replies latest jw experiences

  • tornapart
    tornapart

    It's been 4 years since it happened to me. An almost overnight experience. I read Ray Franz CoC in 3 days and that was it. It's taken all this time to come to terms with it. At first I felt that the rug had been pulled from under me. As a born-in it came as a bit of a shock, despite have many doubts about things over the years. How do you live with the fact you've allowed yourself to be duped despite the fact you know you have a certain amount of intelligence? How do you cope with seeing the person you love and live with still being heavily influenced by what you've realised is not 'the Truth' but a falsehood? Do you tell everyone you love what you've learned? What if they put up their barriers and don't want to know? It's been a long slow process for me, infinite patience with my loved ones... but several of them are now seeing through it all, including my children, their spouses and my best friend, her spouse and her children. It'll take more time for my spouse to see through everything but I believe one day it will happen. Just have to be patient!!

    What's your story?

  • FayeDunaway
    FayeDunaway
    I've felt like a normal person!! And I now do such scandalous things! I go to church, volunteer with charities, celebrate Christmas and vote. I mean I've gone completely off the rails :).
  • flipper
    flipper

    TORNAPART- When I exited the JW's in 2003 I felt like a ton of bricks had been lifted off of my shoulders. 44 years from birth and at age 44 I felt much more at ease.

    Your question : " How do you live with the fact that you've allowed yourself to be duped despite the fact you know you have a certain amount of intelligence ? "

    Easy answer : You learn to forgive yourself by educating yourself about HOW we all got mind controlled by the WT Society. Being under the influence of cult mind control has nothing to do with how intelligent a person is or is not- it has to do with cults like the WT Society promising things in a manipulative way that they cannot deliver or lying to us and appealing to peoples sense of well being or basic instincts like wanting to live forever, never getting sick, living in a pretty paradise , etc. It wasn't OUR fault we got lied to- it was the WT leaders fault that they controlled us and infringed on the boundaries inside our minds.

    " How do you cope with seeing ones we love still controlled by it ? " It's not easy, but once you understand mind control you know what things to talk about and what things to refrain from talking about with such ones. It saddens me that some of my family are still deeply mind controlled by the JW cult- but there's not a damn thing you can do about it until THEY are ready to see TTATT. You can be there for them if and when they wake up- but it has to be in their own time and way. Until then you lie low and wait.

    " Do you tell everyone you love what you've learned ? " Probably NOT a good idea if " everybody you love " is still a mind controlled JW. You will be judged as a crazy ass apostate and they won't appreciate the truths you are saying because they look at it as " falsehoods ". It will cause disruption and frustration and you'll be beating your head against a brick wall. But if you have non-JW relatives or friends- by all means go tell them everything you know ! It might protect them from getting sucked into the JW cult themselves .

    " What if they put up their barriers and don't want to know ? " Then cease and desist telling them you will be wasting your time.

    My story is I am a lot closer to my nieces, nephews and son who have exited the JW cult than I am to my fanatic JW relatives. I can be myself around my ex-JW relatives, but can't be real with aggressive JW relatives. That's my story- so I let it be what it is and hang with the people who accept me for who I am. Hope this helps a bit. Good luck to you in your newfound freedom of mind. Freedom is sweet ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper

  • Crazyguy
    Crazyguy
    Pretty much pissed off all the time.
  • DesirousOfChange
    DesirousOfChange

    It's taken all this time to come to terms with it. At first I felt that the rug had been pulled from under me. As a born-in it came as a bit of a shock, despite have many doubts about things over the years. How do you live with the fact you've allowed yourself to be duped despite the fact you know you have a certain amount of intelligence? How do you cope with seeing the person you love and live with still being heavily influenced by what you've realised is not 'the Truth' but a falsehood? Do you tell everyone you love what you've learned?

    You're writing my story.

    Rug pulled out from underneath you? YEP.

    Duped? I sway back-n-forth between feeling stupid and being angry.

    The people I love? Wife is fading. Kids are out or fading. Some family member out or fading.

    Telling everyone? NO!!!! NO!!!! NO!!!! You can't blast 'em with TTATT. It has to be subtle. They have to think that they discovered it.

    Doc

  • Diogenesister
    Diogenesister

    Huge sense of relief, I can do so many things now GUILT FREE YAY!

    However, I still struggle massively with death. Not so much the long & happy life well lived, surrounded by friends & family pain free kind of death. But the unjust death

    Of the murder victim

    Of the child with cancer

    Of the young slave who died under the lash

    Those who disappeared in the gulags or camps

    Of the pig or monkey whose only life has been lived in a cage filled with cruelty

    The still born baby

    The generations of our ancestors whose lives were nasty, brutish & short

    Cheerful sort, aren't I?

  • Diogenesister
    Diogenesister
    oh and I always think of Stephen from the bible - stoned for nothing, poor boy
  • ShirleyW
    ShirleyW

    I was born into it, but never baptized, I haven't attending a meeting since the 1980's, way before the internet, but what REALLY sealed the deal was when I read Crisis of Conscious, really breaks it down on how it's nothing but a cult. THe internet helped as well, there were certain boards around in the 90's. I remember being a part of Tisihie's board, probably some folks here were on her board too.

  • HappyGal
    HappyGal

    Like Desirousofchange I sometimes feel angry and sometimes feel stupid at not seeing it sooner.

    But then I remember that we were not allowed to read anything, watch anything, or talk to anyone who would have another viewpoint on Jehovahs Witnesses.

    Once my eyes were opened and critical thinking kicked in it was amazing how quickly the truth about the truth sunk in. There was no going back to the naiive person I once was.

    Give yourself credit for what you have already accomplished. It is truly amazing. It is a process and it takes time.

    I hope your family wakes up soon and can join you in this journey.

  • Beth Sarim
    Beth Sarim

    It did not really happen all at once for me, that is learning TATT. It was a gradual awakening over the years. Just the way the congregation leaves people out among things. Critical thinking kicked-in big time. So much hard evidence showed up with evolution and other life in our universe. The erroneous blood doctrine too.

    The above things combined with researching online, lurking on these forums too, were wake-up calls. Yeah, you feel like an idiot for believing the Borg for years. But like I said it was a period of years, or even over a decade of learning the fallacies of the Borg. I guess you could say it did not hit me all at once, but gradual. It had less of profound effect on me. -

    I have to venture to say probably in the neighbourhood of 15-20 years of waking-up altogether, starting with that November 1995 Awake. That began the slide, or wake-up.

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