Are you a lady or a real woman?

by happyout 26 Replies latest social humour

  • happyout
    happyout

    Subject: ARE YOU A REAL WOMAN??

    Ladies - If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix-me-up."

    Real Woman - If you over-salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too bad. Please recite with me, The Real Women's motto: "I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes."

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    Ladies - Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.

    Real Woman - Take a lime; mix it with tequila, chill and drink. You might still have the headache, but who cares?

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    Ladies - Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.

    Real Woman - Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete’s sake. You are probably lying on the couch, with your feet up, eating it anyway.

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    Ladies - To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.

    Real Woman - Buy boxed mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year.

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    Ladies - When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the inside of the cake.

    Real Woman - Go to the bakery - they'll even decorate it for you.

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    Ladies - Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.

    Real Woman - Sara Lee frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust, so I just don't do it.

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    Ladies - If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non slip grip that makes opening jars easy.

    Real Woman - Go ask the very cute neighbor guy to do it.

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    And finally the most important tip....

    Ladies - Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.

    Real Woman - Leftover wine??

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    A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn...that was fun!

    I'm a real woman!!

    Happyout

  • shera
    shera

    I say,real woman here.

  • teenyuck
    teenyuck

    Real woman.....

    I thought sucking the ice cream cone was practice......

  • nilfun
    nilfun

    Depends on the phase of moon.

  • waiting
    waiting

    Real Woman - Buy boxed mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year.

    lol - I have some up *yonder* in my cabinet that's over a decade old. Figured they still might be good some day.

    My son's 25. He came home one day & was browsing my freezer. He commented that we sure did seem to eat a lot of shrimp because everytime he came home - there was always a package of shrimp on the second shelf of freezer.

    Then he squinted his big eyes at me & said.............."or is that the SAME package of shrimp."

    I am a Real Woman............"What leftover wine?" To be sure.

    And I have no idea how to get black print back....and I don't care.

  • Gadget
    Gadget

    According to that I'm a real woman. Kinda worrying....

  • Mecurious?
    Mecurious?

    Good one Happyout!

    Merc'

  • maybesbabies
    maybesbabies

    Bona Fide Real Woman!!!!

  • teejay
    teejay

    Real Woman - Leftover wine??

    That's whut I'm talkin' 'bout!

    Okay.... so now that we know how a Real Woman handles her bidness in the kitchen, please do tell us ways to tell a Lady from a Real Woman ... you know ... in that other room. Or do you have the nerve?

  • StinkyPantz
    StinkyPantz

    As you all know. . .I'm a LADY!!

    A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn...that was fun!
    I LOVE this line!!!

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