What JWD means to me...some reflections, and your opinions

onacruse

When I signed up on JWD last summer, I was a total, total Internet newbie. I'd never been on a db before, never been in a chat room before, and didn't have a clue what IM was. LOL Talk about wet behind the ears

At first, I 'camped out' in "Beliefs and Doctrines", and watched in a state of dismay as people fought with each other, left the board, came back, etc. Then, as some people were "kicked" off, and came back, then left...and on and on and on...

Well, I've tried to be as honest as possible during this last year, and shared with y'all what I've gone through, and how I've changed, and what an incredibly positive year of growth this has been for me. And yes, I know some of you are nodding to yourselves, and rightly so

So now I simply need to share with you where I'm at now (after some serious reflection this last week): JWD has been, and is, an tremendous vehicle of social re-connectedness for Kate and me. The posts, and ((you)) who post, are not just emotionless digits on a screen, but real people, with deep feelings, and mutual needs to touch, and be touched, by others...others who've been through the same hellacious journey.

Kate was telling me this morning about a bicycling board she's been on for several years, and it's the same thing there...those folks ride together, fall together, get back on their feet together, and almost as an afterthought, post on the same board together.

So, you tell me...am I taking this board too seriously, as some have said to me privately? Is JWD doomed to die a 'typical' db death? Or will the synergy of our lives, and the lives of thousands more each year, make JWD an even better place to meet, heal, and move on?

Craig

PS: Sorry for the ramble

shamus

Onacruise,

I have missed you lately here! I was going to start a thread asking about you, but never really got around to it and forgot for a few daze.... good to see you back!

Hey, I think that some people do take this place way too seriously. I don't know if you in particular do... in fact, I have no idea.

The thing to remember, Craig, is not to take anything too seriously on this board. (or any other board for that matter). People's identities are hidden behind avatars and names like "Shamus", "Hosenphepher", and whatever.... so they can tend to be far more outspoken as opposed to social settings. Some people can seem rude, but don't mean to be. (Myself definetly included there!)

If something pisses you off or you don't like something take a break. If a board becomes too stressful for you, definetly take a BIG break. If you are still stressed, then go bye bye. Things in life are more important than the internet, let me assure you!

Anyhoo, hope that you're back for a while! I sure missed your posts!

Shamus (another hidden person)

wednesday

I stumbled into here a year ago , desperate to hear the voice of sanity. I came via Silentlambs. I even then resisted. I read a lot of posts. Mostly the personal experience posts. Now i have ventured into doctrine. That has been the hardest. I did not want to give up the doctrine. I just felt jws were unloving. Reading the posts from previous elders has been most helpful. JT comes to mind. Gary Busslemn also. Both have been a life saver. I don't think i ever told them that, but i read every word they post and i know they are honest, and trying to help. Having been raised a jw, 3 rd generation, my mind was totally locked to any form of reason.Little by little, this site has helped pry it open and let the light in. I tried explaining to others what it is like to be a jws, but only if u have been ther can u know how duped we all were.

Please don't ever think your posts are overlooked. Someone out there is reading them.

I stay here b/c there are people here that care, the voice of sanity.

ps, i posted this to another thread, but it seemed to fit better here, and besides the other thread seems to be going south.

onacruse

shamus

As far as "taking things too seriously on this board" is concerned...well, what happens when you make new friends, and develop a new social network via the people we meet here? Is that not serious? Where is 'the line' drawn? Dare we expect more, and of the same?

wednesday

You use the term "life saver." !!! Yes, oh yes indeed! And my sentiment comes back the same...if, in fact (as it has been for me) this db has been a 'life-saver,' then what could possibly be more compelling? Doesn't that dispel the image of a "lifeless" db?...and thence to a dynamic phenomenon?

Craig

El Kabong

ah, forget it

wednesday

u are so right, craig. These are real people, and real life situations.

Yes i go by wednesday, and b/c i do not wanted to be outed, i can't tell others my real name. but i am real,and i know JT and Gary and all are real. They all have helped me more than i could have ever imagined.

I view this sort of like having penpals. years ago, people had penpals. or phone friends..i guess the phone was a real novelty when it appeared, but people used it to make friends. now we have the net. a new way to make friends.

Euphemism

Onacruse... no, I don't think you're taking the things too seriously... because what you're really talking about, IMHO, is not the board itself, but the community built around it.

People may come and go on the board. There may be trolls, flamewars, etc. Simon may get tired someday and close the board down (although I certainly hope not). But the friendships made here are for real... and they deserve to be taken just as seriously as friendships formed face-to-face.

Valis

I've reported this conversation to the forum administrators and I hope we finally get this Craig guy under control...*LOL*

Hey man, per our conversation yesterday, I think this place is very complicated, much more so than is apparent on the surface. So many people have different relationships here, in person and online, it makes for a social dynamic that resembles the story of Six degrees Of Separation. We all know each other whether it be because of an Apostafest, just hooking up for a drink, marrying someone from here, calling one another, sassing one another, dare I say some hatefulness, or just chatting/observing another's words. For the average person such a social dynamic would not be improbable (like biker and her cycling thugs), but since we are already used to gathering in the tens of thousands without immediately ripping any guts out, we have a heads up. We've all been very close, and yet our greatest fear is rejection. One can only hope that this forum satiates all of the needs I mentioned and remains a haven from the rejecttion so sadly common in JWland. I would say even a haven where it were better to disagree and sometimes loudly, than not have the bad association we all get from JWD.

BTW onanism, I have a question to ask you when next we speak.

Sincerely,

District Overbeer

Lady Lee

I too found sanity here. I struggled for 10 years after I left still believing the doctrine. They were right and I was bad.

Then a friend asked me a question and I started doing some research on the internet. I was stunned. And freed. I spent months gathering more information, more than I knew what to do with.

Then I came here. The level of sharing concerns me sometimes but it is good. And it helps people and is healing. Sometimes we need to step away and pace oursleves but we come back because there really is understanding here that you don't get elsewhere.

It would be nice to think this place would not be needed in the way it is now. But I think that for the foreseeable future there will be a place for this site and others like it to help those who are leaving the borg and in great need of information, support, and healing. I think too that some will come and some will go. That is the nice thing about freedom here in the real world (vs the WTS). We are free to leave and not be shunned for it.

I repeatedly hear that cyber-relationships are not real relationships. For some that is true. The anonimity allows some to pretend to be something they are not (whether that is more real or more pretense depends on the person I suppose).

But i think the vast majority of people who come here bring their true self, scared, alone, shunned, abused, strong, experimental, searching self. They make friends and often even meet them. We care about how people are, and what is happening to them. We talk about life and love and pain and birth and death. We rejoice with each other and grieve the losses together. We offer each other love and encouragement and most of all friendship.

How much more real is that then the life we had in the borg. Seems to me that the life here is is better, richer, and more caring than the borg life. It is a wonderful practice field. But in the learning to trust and love and reach out to others in real ways a wonderful thing happens. It becomes real. We see each other not as just words on a screen, a collection of pixels. We feel for blood and flesh people because we are blood and flesh. If I am here and I am real then I have to assume you too are there and real.

For all of those who have met their cyber frineds you know this. When you meet the on-line friendship is only strengthened. The connections made here are just as real as if we met first face to face.

jgnat

Why would a discussion board "naturally" decline? I didn't think such animals have been around long enough for there to be experts on such things. I imagine discussion boards would follow the natural progression that small businesses and special interest groups go through.

Sometimes popularity can kill them, unless the overseer is flexible enough to restructure the management. Simon is a pretty smart dude. He is not doing it all alone anymore.

As long as JWD is meeting an expressed need, which it obviously is, I predict it will survive for a very long time. Unless, of course, the WTBTS stops hurting people.

Boy. My second prediction this week. Should I start charging?

What JWD means to me...some reflections, and your opinions

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