by jwbot 35 Replies latest jw friends
Thanks Flowerpetal and Zev - your comments are useful.
Stacy - the anonymity is the reason I have the courage to post. I hope one day to be able to give my real name and my complete JW story without this stupid fear of being rumbled.
Glad you had the sense not to be dunked.
Terri
I am so glad with all the responses...I didn't think I was going to get any.
For all the current JWs, it is nice to see you here. Everyone has a curiousity and I am happy that there are those that are brave enough to explore that curiousity. It shows you are a strong person and not a drone like some *cough*the society*cough* want you to be. Even if the religion is right for you, you will be a stronger person for questioning your beliefs and putting your religion to the test.
not_tellin Sub-question: Are there any current JW's on this board who are married? and does your spouse know about your doubts?
My JW wife suspects that I have doubts -- I mean I leave my CoC book and G T Reconsidered et al on the bookshelf so she must know. So far she has not reported me to the elders
I am "in good standing" but have been inactive for some time now. I did go to the convention with my wife this summer, but I haven't gone to the local meetings in a loooooooooooong time. I went to the convention FOR my wife. She had just lost her mom and I didn't think it right to make her go on her own. I brought plenty of good reading material for during the program...a good David Morell novel.
My wife understands my reasons for no longer associating and doesn't pressure or hassle me about my departure. I finally admitted that it was not someone else's "stumbling" that made me leave. My examinations were motivated by these emotional reasons, but the decision to no longer associate was mine and mine alone. My wife thinks maybe one of these days I'll come around. She thinks I should stick around the org to be a pain in the ass to the selfrighteous pious ones that we all know and love. I told her that if I did, it wouldn't be for long because I don't think that they would allow me around speaking my mind, etc.
I come here because my sister does and she asked me to. I've enjoyed the discussions and I even post occasionally. I've made a lot of friends and can't believe that these are bad, evil people that are doomed to everlasting destruction.
SO, here I am.
Ern
Badger,
As much as the FDS would compell me not too, I don't feel any decision I make would be valid if I didn't at least give the other side a fair case.
I couldn't express that better. I remember, when I ordered COC a couple of years ago, the guilt feelings I had, but I was compelled to do it for the reason above.
All started when an elder blatantly from the platform said that he had done a research and found nothing the Society said about 1975. It was all the friends fault. From that day on I decided to do my own research into this.
Besides, I got very intrigued about why someone from the GB would want to lose his highly regarded "privilege". One day I'll tell you how trembling my legs were when I went to the bookshop to pick up my copy of COC!
Man oh man!
As opposed to some in this board, my life as a JW was fairly smooth. I think I was fortunate on this. It was reason that brought me into this movement; and reason brought me out!
"You will know the truth, and the truth shall set you free".
Observador.
Observador:
Besides, I got very intrigued about why someone from the GB would want to lose his highly regarded "privilege". One day I'll tell you how trembling my legs were when I went to the bookshop to pick up my copy of COC!
Man oh man!
I didn't tremble when I got my book--but I made sure the bookstore, when they called me to let me know it was in, to be discreet over the phone just in case my hubby answered. Funny thing and I didn't believe it at first, but I think it's true...when I first entertaining thoughts of reading CoC, I found it on the computer at the library. When I went back to borrow it, first making sure it was still there, it had been taken off the data base at the library. I had hear stories that some witnesses that worked at libraries, who worked in the procurement of getting books for the library, made sure this book was removed. Who else would care that much to keep this book off the shelves except a witness?
I personally think that all the JW's that are still going to meetings and are willing to post here have more courage than most of us. I know for myself I didn't even look at an apostate site until I had DA'd myself 7 years ago. Even then I was scared. My hat is off to all of you.
Thank you for not thinking that all of us that left are terrible people. Most of us have lost family and friends over this religion so I personally appreciate your honesty. Glad to have you here.
Leslie
I'm a current jw, I go to this board to keep myself awake, I work graveyard shift here in the Philippines.
I like the discussions here, very informative.
I have doubts about the organization, but my love for Jehovah keeps me in.
Everytime I read a post, that mocks God's name, I am pierced to the heart.
Nevertheless, I enjoyed reading through this forum. Keep those topics coming.
pinoy: I think that a lot of the people here, who still love jehovah, separate their faith and spirituality from the religion. I get more of that they are against the religion (the structure) but not the bible or God.
I for one, consider myself agnostic, and I do not beleive in the bible...but I respect other peoples belief.
When I made my study of my religious roots, I decided to skip Christianity and study Judaism. I reasoned if there were any flaws in Judaism, then Christianity would have no merit. Inversely, if there were no flaws in Judaism, then Christianity certainly would have no merit.
What I found was not really flaws in Judaism, I found I had been lied to about Judaism and the customs and manners and the festivals. The Jewish historians I read openly admitted to inventing the concept of an invisible God and that fact is not a detriment to the faith of the Jewish people. I went away different. I had a respect for the Hebrew people and their honesty and their openness and their wisdom. I talked with the Rabbi's and they were sages, every one, and rational and not afraid to take on any subject.
What was flawed was my concept of theism, my superstitions ran deep. My core beliefs were based on assumptions that were not standing up to rational investigation. Nothing I had been using to run my life was real. I had to quick change my direction. I had to quit judging and I had to quit talking and start listening. All my superiority I had learned as a Witness melted in one night with the realization I had been wrong. Now I had to face the fact that I might have discovered a version of truth that could survive rational inquiry and that my new found truth was in conflict with all that I had known and accepted and my relatives and people I had known were living in a delusion. I could see I was on a collision course with them all.
A person who takes what I do as a personal attack on her, is a person I am soon going to part company with. Those people I can't take time to mourn. That takes time away from fun things and good times and helping others who appreciate me.
I'm glad you all are here. Thanks! It would be boring here all alone. GaryB
