To those who were DFd

by stillajwexelder 53 Replies latest jw friends

  • obiwan
    obiwan

    I didn't even go to that meeting. I could of cared less about what he said. All I was hurt at, was losing my loved one's.

  • Flowerpetal
    Flowerpetal

    Still, this is a good thread!

    I am reading these stories and recall that someone I knew who had been 'd'fd for many years before she came back, was told by one of the elders at the time, not to even bother to pray because Jehovah wasn't going to hear her prayers! I thought, "How arrogant, and cruel that a man would say something like that!"

    Unbeliever, I hope your friend is OK. I bet that elder was stunned!

    I'm just curious and please nobody get offended by my question: How many of you turned yourselves in?

  • obiwan
    obiwan
    I knew who had been 'd'fd for many years before she came back, was told by one of the elders at the time, not to even bother to pray because Jehovah wasn't going to hear her prayers!

    That's what I was told as well.....arrogant asses!

  • stillajwexelder
    stillajwexelder

    Thanks guys for your replies so far -- as you may have guessed - I am secretly preparing myself for what to expect and how I will feel -- whether to do it on my terms in a blaze of glory -- or just to carry on the slow fade

  • Perry
    Perry

    Never disfelowshipped here; I simply stopped going and moved to another city to attend university. I tried to do the fade, even attended an assembly or two afterward. It became apparent that my immediate family would not invite me to family gatherings. I might as well have been df'd. had the unfortunate fate of having hard core brothers and father who were elders. After a particularly evil letter from my father where he ignored my reasoning and insisted that I left Jehovah, I wrote all of them a 23 page letter that ended with me spiritually disfellowshipping my father because he refused to stop condemming me and my personal beliefs. I felt like a huge stone had been lifted off me but at the same time I felt great sadness for having lost my family. The sadness continues.

    It was a rite of passage for me. Having lived through the 1975 scare in which I was absolutely convinced that I would not live past my 12 th birthday, I gave the shame and guilt back from which it came;. from my scared wacky father who frothed at the mouth every time a scripture came up illustrating how the dead people will be strewn from one end of the earth clear to the other. I felt truly alive for the very first time.

    There is no honorable way to leave the WTBS.

  • gumby
    gumby

    I can't believe how many here attempted ....or at least thought about suicide after being DFed!

    In my case.....I felt like I conducted the JC meeting.

    I had been before the elders 3 times before for tobacco(chewing at the time) All the elders liked me well as did others. I had been an elder many years in another congregation. I though this time they were going to let me off the hook again until I spoke up and pretty much convinced them they NEEDED to DF me.

    I quoted articles that showed that if a person had a "pattern" in their wrongdoing for a length of time.......then he didn't belong in the Organisation.They agreed.

    How did I feel? It didn't hit me until it was announced at a Thursday meeting..............I cried and left.

    Gumby

  • Flowerpetal
    Flowerpetal

    Still:

    Thanks guys for your replies so far -- as you may have guessed - I am secretly preparing myself for what to expect and how I will feel -- whether to do it on my terms in a blaze of glory -- or just to carry on the slow fade

    Still do you think you would get found out or would you turn yourself in? If you opt for the latter, why would you do that to yourself? Really, isn't it a matter between you and Jehovah? Since I don't have any really good close friends in the KH, and my mom has now died, and it would grieve her to death if I was df'd. it wouldn't bother me, family-wise. My kids are not baptized, I am an only child, and my hubby's sister and her hubby became inactive several years ago. They feel like JWs don't care about anyone. It would hurt and shock a lot of my mom's friends, and shock those who know me in my city, who are witnesses. Plus, after one is df'd. isn't a copy of your "case" sent to the society? I wouldn't want them to have a record of me on their file. That's why I am going to try and do the slow fade if at all possible.

  • obiwan
    obiwan

    Perry:

    There is no honorable way to leave the WTBS.

    Why try to find honor in leaving, when the wt itself is not honorable?

  • Flowerpetal
    Flowerpetal

    Perry:

    There is no honorable way to leave the WTBS.
    Why try to find honor in leaving, when the wt itself is not honorable?

    Good point obiwan.

  • Gadget
    Gadget
    How many of you turned yourselves in?

    I turned myself in, but only because I knew that she was on her way over to tell her elders and I knew it would go better for me if I turned myself in instead of them finding out because some elders from another hall phoned up to tell them. Didn't work.

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