by Swan 20 Replies latest social relationships
I think watching tv or a movie together can be togetherness...especially if you are interacting.
Ditto. Especially if your curled up together on the couch when your doing it. I used to watch tv a lot, but I haven't had an ariel for the last month and I haven't missed it (Apart from having mtv playing in the backround). For me, I would prefer to get together to do something that is outside of both our normal routines, and have fun learning new things together.
It can be a togetherness activity, but spending the whole evening doing it can be rather broing and mind-numbing. I'd prefer to think of taking a walk, engaging in some hobby, or seeing a movie together as more likely to promote togtherness than watching the tube for a great length of time.
I must say I do enjoy watching sports with my wife (it's cool that she likes sports) and our mutual enjoyoment of it, such as discussions about baseball strategy, etc, can be really nice. But it's not something we do all evening long.
Right rocketman!
Especially if you are doing it day in / day out. It's not togetherness.
You need to mix it up by playing cards, going for walks (great one!) or playing scrabble. Sounds silly, but it works!
Any ladies out there want to come to the great white north and play cards with me? (currently married and not seperated need not apply)!
My missus watches far more TV than I do at home. My job is watching TV for 6 hours per day. 4 years ago i worked in cable TV, 3 movie channels 8 hours per day. Sort of cured me from watching too much. When I'm at home TV has to show something special before I'll watch it. I prefer a DVD. If nothing is on, then I'm either causing trouble on JWD or shooting the hell out of strangers on DoD.
Steve
More points for singlehood here no being told to be quiet during the show and total control over the remote.
I've enjoyed cuddling during a tv show but my ex would tell me "ssssh" if I tried to talk during a show. Only during commercials "if I don't mind". So for me watching TV isn't doing something together if you aren't allowed to talk.
A date night is always a good idea but I suppose watching together is a date, if you are allowed to communicate.
TV can be an activity enjoyed as a couple if it isn't overdone. I watch very little TV, but I spend alot of time on the internet.
If the couple shares alot of common interests, excessive time on the computer or watching tv shouldn't become a problem.
Walter
Marriage is a partnership. It should be a give and take. You both should be seeking to give to the other. If he wants you to watch TV with him then he should also be willing to get up off the couch and do other activities of your choice. Sounds like you two are in a rut. I have a friend that I spend allot of time with and I love watching TV with him because he loves to cuddle with me and at least he knows I'm there with him. He also knows that I love to go out so we go dancing, out with friends, we have friends over for meals. Last weekend he went with me to a memorial service for a friend of ours. He wouldn't have normally gone because he hates those things. Afterwards, we spent the day at the flea market, came home cooked dinner and spent the evening together watching TV and talking. Give and take is what makes a relationship. *Shrugs, maybe we have such a good time together because we're not married..LOL
When we got our first remote control TV, it drove me crazy to watch TV with Dave. Every commercial he was flipping channels. Of course I did it too, but not when we were together. So, we made a pact................neither of us can switch channels when we are watching something together. But he would often ask me to check on a score of a game.
But...........we don't watch TV together very much anymore. We have a TV in the bedroom, and mainly I watch in there by myself, with the remote, and he does the same in the living room. Both of us are happy and I don't have to "keep track of the scores of the games" during commercials.
When we do watch together, we chat about the show, and it does seem like a togetherness activity. We do a lot of things together though, mainly talking about everything under the sun. We are very good communicators.
Maybe we are in a rut, but he doesn't want to get out of it. He just wants me to change ruts!
I have been trying to watch more TV since we had that conversation, but it is so boring after three or four hours. I paid my bills, folded the clothes, and did other odd jobs while watching. The new TV season helps a bit. There are a lot of new episodes so that is better than the reruns.
I usually sit in my chair and he sits in his spot on the couch. Occasionally we cuddle, but because of his disability he gets tired sitting that way after a while. His disability limits his activities a bit, but we do go places on weekends. He just can't go bowling or dancing or anything too physical like that. At Christmas time we drive around at night and look at the decorations on houses.
What games do you recommend that we could play together? Keep in mind that anything too cerebral, like chess, he wouldn't like, and that I'm lousy at poker, and would be in my underclothes before very long. LOL!
Tammy
I've had the opposite end of that conversation. My wife said something similar...
Cuddling up watching a movie, can be a "togetherness" thang, but other than that I'm with Hamas. TV sux.
Other than the occasional movie, the longest I watching it is watching the news whilst I eat my dinner.
