by Badger 17 Replies latest social relationships
Thanks, folks, keep that advice comin'. I'm asking for it, after all.
The boy is almost six, and we've been separated since he was 3 1/2. We miss each other, but I grew up under an almost identical situation, except my parents weren't in the organization, and didn't have the longterm tension that she has felt against me. We share a bond, but either way I'm going to have to keep one side from just losing it over any move I make, whether it's my family or her family.
No one else matters but that little boy - put his needs first & the path should fall right into place. Nope, its not easy - but YOU are the father here, and everyone else's "'opinions" hold no weight.
Personally, I'd probably take the child, and force her to live close by if she wants to share custody. It's pretty hard to be a dad in just two months per year, and she is obviously not putting your son first in her life.
Shall we send lawyers, guns and money?
I am moving from New England to Texas because we get my two stepdaughters every other year...and then the mom sends them to live with her crazy JW mom out of state...(my mom is sweet and she is JW...so I know the JW is not responsible for the insanity hahah)..I say if you have custody, you definately need to have him at least part of the time, or take him altogether.
What is going to stop this guy from showing favortism when his own flesh and blood is born? It is good you have it set up, but I would be concerned that she could contest the custody since you have not taken him. You should talk to your lawyer again about this if you have not already.This is a difficult situation, but I agree with another poster here that said the mom can move closer to you if she wants joint custody...etc.
Good luck...I truly hop the boyfriend turns a new leaf and the mom grows up, but you cannot risk your son's well being on thier good intentions.
I tried the shared custody thing for 4 years, but after being the primary parent, the one that went to the school conferences, that bought all his clothes, paid for all his school supplies, all his school sports, ran him around to events, (sports, homecoming etc,etc) and still paid child support to the ex (shacked up with her boyfriend), I decided enough was enough. I hired a decent lawyer made the ex an offer and got my decree changed. The three of us in my household are much happier and I save a huge amount towads my son's collgee fund.
Think about what will happen down the road and save the agony now. You are the best parent, do the right thing.
Thirdson
This is a volatile situation. This will bite you in the ass my friend. If you love the kid, exercise your rights, and ask for child support. He who acts first wins! Why would you let some low life dog meat raise your kid, or her dirtbag boyfriend? Maverick
I think, on a personal note, if you suspect abuse in any way you have to get your son out, NOW!
Diana
Yikes.
Yikes!
I dunno what to say. I have to agree with some others. I think in this case--this guy sounds like a real jerk and like he has your ex wrapped around his finger and can get back in her life whenever he wants. I would try and get custody I think. Father's are getting custody more and more. It's not automatically that the kids go with the mom. My ex-boyfriend had full custody of his son. Kind of a similar situation. She wanted to go back to being a teenager instead of a parent. In their case tho she willingly handed over primary custody to him.
I wish you all the luck, and I hope everything works out for what's best for your son in the long run.
