the word has spread to my family that i questioned my sister and the elders came to my home..several of my aunts had called already and my one uncle from georgtown ca....they being so very concerned on my spirtitual wellbeing have forgotten that i have questions on why the organization does what it does. i finally confessed to my uncle sam that last year another m.s approached me and told me his crimes against a new sister's child while he watched them one night when she was at a get together with other brothers and sisters. i cringed at what my uncle has said but to argue with him would have been a brick wall. he wanted me to go to the meeting a pray. he said " wicked men enter our halls but we must not lose sight of the great promise because if we stop going to the meeting a wicked spirit will take me from the truth". ..i wonder if he really heard himself. since my birth i have seen some of the most bankrupt of people do things that are so distastful but it is always explained away and blamed on satan. i have no girlfriend, no wife to lean on and soon i wont even have my family through this troubling time. i found so many discrepencies but no one else in family can see them. are my eyes so wide open or are their eyes so closed they cant see the horror that is around them. the fantasy the satan is all at fault and the organization is the victim in every case is so insane. .....how can a 36 year old man start over when he knows nothing else in the world than the great lie called the truth. why would anyone date a man whose mind has been altered to fear and believe all what the organization has ever said?... worldy women have called me handsome but my thoughts always betray me when it come to holidays and other activies...soon i will be removed...i have never been weak physically and im very strong but can my mind withstand the coming neglect of being shunned...?...***the mole***
the elders may be gone but soon i will be alone
by the mole 16 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
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pettygrudger
(((Mole))) - you are not alone - we're all here for ya!
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Badger
((Mole))
God will NEVER hold it against you if you do the right thing. Remember that.
Stand your ground and follow what's right. You know what that is.
Someone as upstanding as you will find friends outside, just like we did. People will gravitate towards you and support you. If you do the right thing, no body of elders will keep God or your family from you. If the family leaves you behind for making this stand -- and this will sound harsh -- You're better off.
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heathen
mole--- I wasn't in the org. but still can't stand the religious holidays . I don't know why people tend to take that personally , I don't think a relationship should be based on , what did you get me for christmas ? If that's all they care about then who needs it .
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Maverick
My dear friend, this hole has a bottom, from there it is only up. Read CoC, and some of the other books talked about here. You are young, give yourself some time. We are here and you will overcome this. Maverick
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William Penwell
the mole,
You will be surprised had how much inner strength you have when you need to use it. That is the whole controlling catch of this called cult they call a religion. They want you to be dependant on them and use scare tactics to keep you in their mind controlling clutches. You are whole and complete within yourself, you don't need anyone else too make give you inner strength. Remember the jdubs only make up about .01% of the worlds population. You have this other 99.99% to make friends with. Now you can choose your own friends that will love you unconditionally.
All the best,
Will
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truman
Hi Mole,
You live around Sacramento, am I remembering correctly from your previous posts? I live near Modesto. Believe me, I know how difficult it is during this time of transition out. I went through it 2 years ago. I don't have as many relatives in as you, but I still have a son in, and it has definitely impacted our relationship. You may find yourself in a great deal of emotional pain for a while, but remember, things will get better for you. As someone told me, there is a high price for your freedom, but I will tell you that it is worth it. I was a JW for 27 years. I would be happy to talk to you, or even get together if that sounds like something do-able. There is a support group for exjws in Marin, and in San Jose, but I know of none in Sac. Don't get too discouraged, if you can help it.
truman
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Mystery
The JW ways haunt us all. The first time I bought a Christmas tree ornament I had so much guilt that I threw it away. You can?t just discard everything you have been taught for 36 years overnight. You have to take small steps and take them one at a time. I have been ?fading? for over 20 years and I still can?t give anyone a straight answer about God.
(((mole))) don?t try to do it all at once. In a previous post you mentioned that you had teenagers. Are they JW?s? Do you have custody or their mother? Are they late teens or early teens? If they are early teens you still have time to become very involved in their life; late teens will be a little harder but you can still do it. Find something you enjoy and the times that you are feeling desolate and alone make yourself do it. You only have a few years left with your kids ? make them count. You can always come and ?post?.
I poured my heart out when I first found this site. I felt I was going crazy. I don?t post a lot, but when I am feeling like I am falling apart again, I come back here and read and read and read. I am also a 3 rd generation JW. I haven?t been DA?ed or DF?ed yet. Read Crisis of Conscience and the other publications put out by Ex-JW?s, you are not alone. I have met a couple of people because of MeetUp.com here. I am not from here, so I don?t know any JW?s or Ex-JW?s ? but I meet a lady thru an email address on Meetup and we are getting together, with a few other Ex?s she knows next month. I am really looking forward to it.
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Satanus
Hi mole
It's a tough road that you are on, alright. People here understand. I do too. Although you may not be as much of a loner as i am. I lost everybody, including a job. Anyways, it's tempting to replace the structure w another one. That isn't always advisable, but friends who understand can help a lot.
Go with the grieving process, as if your friends died. No point in fighting it. After you go through it, there will be a new sunrise. Believe me.
SS
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A Paduan
I post here with the intent of freeing the enslaved, but sometimes I wonder if it is the right thing - what right do I have to be giving out "red pills" - Could it better that people remain "in" with those that they know in there - I personally can't see that it is, but that's my opinion, based on my own desires.
For what it's worth mole, I apologise for my role in providing you with any grief that you may regret.
I am assuming that you feel alone in the sense of being without a partner, and you wonder whether you will have a partner - I pray that you will - that you may have a suitable helper. I know for myself it was very important.
Hope your well mole.
paduan