I notice that many speak of no dating exp or the lack of sex before marriage as reasons for bad marriges
but i wonder how many folks dating at 14yrs old really know what to look for in a mate or the fact that you can have hot sex makes one a good husband or wife
- personally i see something beyond that as perhaps more of a reason for jw-
for the fact of the matter is 50% of marriges fail and many , many of these folks were dating at 13 and having sex at 14 and it didn't help them to be good husband or wives or what to look for in a mate
think about this:
first off what do most folks consider a good husband or wife-
a person with a good job, trying to get some education, basically trying to move up in THE WORLD
so that in 10 years they are better off than they were the day they got married, etc
now what does a jw consider a good mate
Double digit publisher, a title in the org, a pioneer, give good comment, reg at the meetings, give good talks
notice none of the things that have to do with the day to day care of married life, a house, decent job, insurance, reliable transportation, on some type of career path, etc
so now we throw in the lack of sex, lack of exp in dating (((( i take that back , not dating_ but just being in the company of someone of the opposite sex, as jw we had a warped view of what happens ANYTIME a man and woman get together, - as was mentioned awhile back with the SISTERS HAVING TO SIT in the back seat
it is as if jw minds are always in the gutter, they never believed or taught that men and woman could have healthy relationship, without it always having to be sexually in nature, they always assumed if a man and woman are together they will have sex and it matters not the age-
so here we have a couple that gets married young and their closest friends and advisors will never tell them to try and improve their standard of living
case in point there are so many young couples where the wife is pioneering and the husband is trying to KEEP HER ON THE LIST and over and over, when she has discussed coming off someone be it an elder, co or sister old will tell her TRUST IN JAH and stay on the list -
we are talking about being a damn book sellsperson for wt for christ sake and instead of telling them to drop that pioneer routine and get a fulltime job and the both of you get in night colllege and get a degree such advice will never come from the jw as a group
ever now and then you will have a jw who may advise them to do this but most likely not and why
well for them both to start college as a couple will mean they will both miss meeting and field service on sat, will not have time to study and prepare for meeting,
so here we have a struggling young couple who will not get the correct advice needed to pulled up thier lives and keep thier marriage together, and then here comes baby 1 and 2 and now there is noway in hell they can improve their lot, so they struggle to attend the meeting, prepare and the frustration level just increases
and after awhile she sees a guy on the job WHOSE is so happy, he seee a woman on the job whose life is so happy and they both look at the lot they are in and it is DRUDGGERY
and the next thing you know they are seeking a release-
where in fact they could have perhaps weathered the storm of marrigae, but everything was againsst them
and this is what is personally see, i see jw couples who if they could live A REAL LIFE they would be happy
think about this he tells her she needs to go to more meeting and out in service, she tells him he needs to take the LEAD IN FAMILY STUDY
imagine HOW much happier this couple would be if you could just elimantate this issue of meetings, study and "taking the lead" in preparing to seel books on sat
instead they can spend sat morning bike riding instead of selling books
they could spend tuesday night takiing a class at the community college getting some training for their REAL JOBS AT WORK that result in a real raise thereby relieving some of the financial strain on the family.
but more important it will give them a real purpose,
to get married , having a little sex and then find out you will have the same family routine of meetings, field service, studing for the next 30yrs-- IS DEPRESSING -
their unrealistic view of what marrige and sex was going to be like-- is a dissappointment,
personally i atttribute the unhappiness that i see in the org is due to how the demands of the org on a marrige do very little to make it strong
instead of telling ones wife how strong she is , she instead hears how she needs to be mORE SUBMISSIVE
AND After awhile that trash gets old
for sisters it is worst cause now they are married to Fred the MS, Pioneer, Literature Servant, bookstudy conductor
and they soon realise that none of those title have a DAMN THING TO DO WITH BEING A GOOD HUSBAND
reality kicks the sister A$$
and instead of being able to get the Hell out she feels compelled to stay in a loveless and unhappy marrige and why
BECAUSE JEHOVAH HATES A DIVOROCING
SMILE
