In The Mood For A Joke? (page 2)

smack

I got it. Mr Miller did some of the best swing EVER

Steve

in the mood

mouthy

Eman -You might be able to spell right -but your a lousy joke teller!!!

Now what about the 1st & 2nd grade teachers that took the kids in the boys school to see the racing of the horse "Silver Chalis" .... After awhile they were taken to the tiolets( lavatory to you E-man) After waiting out side the toilets -some boys came out & said "Miss we cant reach the urinals" So the teachers entered to help >They lifted each child - so they could reach & do their pee. One of the last boys ( The teacher noted was well endowed) she said "Oh your from the 5th Grade" He said "No as a matter of fact I am the Jockey that rides Silver....But thanks for the lift"

Now THAT is a joke

Valis

Television

..

.

What a prophet does!

Sincerely,

District Overbeer

Joyzabel

ROTFLMAO @ mouthy, yes, that was a joke!

Groaning @ E-man's "joke". I'm sorry to say that it dates you!!

j2bf

drwtsn32

Yikes!! I actually got this one, but only because my parents like listening to old people's music.

mouthy

Well I am old -I didnt get it????Whats wrong with me??I still dont get it!!!

xjw_b12

Yikes!! I actually got this one, but only because my parents like listening to old people's music.

Sure Doc.

Valis

When I Was Your Age

A young man who was also an avid golfer found himself with a few hours to spare one afternoon. He figured if he hurried and played very fast, he could get in 9 holes before he had to head home.

Just as he was about to tee off an old gentleman shuffled onto the tee and asked if he could accompany the young man as he was golfing alone.

Not being able to say no, he allowed the old gent to join him.

To his surprise the old man played fairly quickly. He didn't hit the ball far but plodded along consistently and didn't waste much time.

They reached the ninth fairway, and the young man found himself with a tough shot. There was a large pine tree right in front of his ball, directly between his ball and the green.

After several minutes of debating how to hit the shot the old man finally said, "You know, when I was your age I'd hit the ball right over that tree."

With that challenge placed before him, the youngster swung hard and hit the ball right smack into the top of the tree trunk, where it thudded back on the ground not a foot from where it had originally been.

The old man offered one more comment, "Of course, when I was your age that pine tree was only 3 feet tall."

Sincerely,

District Overbeer

Englishman

Groaning @ E-man's "joke". I'm sorry to say that it dates you!!
j2bf

Oh that's nothing. I'm really getting into some old US stuff these days. Now, J.P. Sousa, oh wow!

..And I'm astonished to find that he composed Colonel Bogey. I really thought that was a good ole Brit composition. Oh well. We even sing soccer songs to the tune of Stars & Stripes forever.

Englishman.

Descender

Ok, here's a few. You might have heard some of em.

A little boy asked his mother one morning, "mommy, are humans like robots that can be taken apart and put back together?"

His mother replied, "no, why would you ask that?"

The little boy said, "well, I just heard daddy talking to one of his friends on the phone and he said that he screwed his secretaries ass off last night."

An old man goes to the doctor.

"Help, Doc. I just got married to this 21 year old woman. She is hot and all she wants to do is have sex all day long."

"So what's the problem?"

"I can't remember where I live."

A man and wife were celebrating their 50-year anniversary, so the man bought his wife a $250 see-through nightgown.

Later that night she was getting ready for bed and realized the nightgown was still in the box downstairs. Walking naked through the house, she passed her husband who said, "My word, for $250 they could've at least ironed it!"

A kid comes home from school with a writing assignment. He asks his father for help. "Dad, can you tell me the difference between theory and reality?"

His father looks up, thoughtfully, and then says, "I'll demonstrate. Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars. Then go ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then come back and tell me what you've learned."

The kid is puzzled, but decides to ask his mother. "Mom, if someone gave you a million dollars, would you sleep with Robert Redford?"

"Don't tell your father, but yes, I would."

He then goes to his sister's room. "Sis, if someone gave you a million dollars, would you sleep with Brad Pitt?"

She replies, "Omigod! Definitely!"

The kid goes back to his father. "Dad, I think I've figured it out. In theory, we are sitting on two million bucks, but in reality, we are living with two sluts."

A state trooper pulls a car over for speeding. In the car is an old lady who is hard of hearing and her husband is with her.

When the trooper asks the lady for her driver's license the lady responds, "eh, what did he say?? "

The old man speaks up as he says, "HE NEEDS YOUR DRIVER'S LICENSE."

A few minutes later the trooper comes back to the car and says, "Ma'am I see you're from Florida?"

The old lady comments, "eh, what did he say??"

The old man speaks up as he says, "HE SEES YOU'RE FROM FLORIDA."

The old lady nods her head, "Yup."

The trooper mutters, "Boy, one time, I got the worst piece of ass I ever had in Florida."

The old lady replies, "eh, what did he say??"

The old man yells, "HE SAYS HE THINKS HE KNOWS YOU!"

In The Mood For A Joke?

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