JW's, are as a rule, self-righteous Pharisees. They were the first to "report" you if they believed that you did something not up to standards. Even if you started "thinking" a certain way that might be considered "worldly", you might be talked to by 2 elders to "readjust you in a spirit of mildness." I'm wondering if typically, when the elders talked to you, did they treat you kindly or badly?
Did The Elders Always Talk With You "In A Spirit of Mildness"???
by minimus 22 Replies latest jw friends
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shamus
Always badly.
I had one squeeze my arm as he hissed at me, "you REALLY NEED TO KEEP UP WITH YOUR FIELD SERVICE REPORTS"... after it was another elders fault. He had just gotten supreme shit from the Circuit Overseer, you see, on how badly they treated me and how they cared not about me.
I ripped my arm out of his grasp, very VIOLENTLY, and said, "I tried to." and walked away.
It was the best moment in my JW career, except for giving an elder cop the bird when he was staring at me at an outdoor pub one day with a disfellowshipped person. Felt great!
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rocketman
I've been on both ends, and when I was on the elder end, we tried to be kind and mostly were. I can't recall ever being harsh. But, I do recall that at times I gave counsel where none was really needed, and sometimes, when I went a long time without counseling someone, I'd think, 'someone's gotta be counseled, and I'd look for things that people might be doing wrong. It gets ridiculous, but it's the elder mindset and the jw mindset. You look for people to trip up somehow.
And I've been on the receiving end of some counsel that was nit-picky and needless. Sure, it wasn't harsh, but there's a big problem with such counsel anyway. It can harsh without sounding that way. And no elder that I ever knew, including myself, would dare apologize for cousel given inappropriately.
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minimus
Even "bad counsel" is considered acceptable. "You must leave it in Jehovah's hands. Just accept the counsel and view it as discipline from Jehovah"....Yeah right!
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suzi_creamcheez
The ones in my cong. were mostly nice guys, even when reprooving my sister for smoking. Except for that pint-sized phony who told me I was possessed for questioning the WT - he was nasty all the time. He must have had a Napoleon complex or something. . .
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blondie
Hey, min, what do think, eh?
I was never approached by the elders to give me counsel. I am perfect in every way.
Seriously, once a sister started nasty rumors about me because she thought I really was too perfect and needed to be brought down to her level.
I have had conversations with 2 elders which resulted in one elder screaming at me and the other embarrassed elder trying to calm him down and apologize. Once my husband was there and he told the brothers to leave.
Elders either loved me or avoided me.
The ones who loved me appreciated that they knew they would never ask a question at a meeting and be left hanging. They knew they could call me up at the last minute to pick up Sister Elderly or substitute on a talk. They knew that I would be prepared for the ministry with 2 or 3 presentations to share.
The ones who avoided me were the bullies who knew that no matter how they tried to bully me or someone else with me, it would boomerang on them.
Blondie
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Special K
sometimes they did....
AND... Sometimes they didn't.
special k
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minimus
Blondie, that's why I love you! You are REAL!!! It seems to me from the responses or lack of, that the elders, generally, handled themselves quite well. See....All those meetings telling the elders to be nice, must've left an impression.
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jayhawk1
I think the Elders tried to be mild and to respect me. Don't they pretty much have to be?
Think about it, if all the Elders behaved like crazy men, it would get around. Don't forget what a rumor mill a Kingdom Hall is. If they were ever caught screaming down a Publisher, it would be bad. Other Publishers would loose respect for the Elders and those with "little faith" would leave for sure. So of course the Elders as a whole try to handle things with a "spirit of mildness."
On a side note the only two times they became nasty with me was at the end of my relationship with them and they must have figured I was leaving. The thought must have been, "get him to leave before things get ugly."
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minimus
I've seen elders SCREAM at each other in the Kingdom Hall. To say the least, it was stunning. Personal issues and some dislike because of their wives not getting along, produced some anger and bickering. Then the body of elders talked them and they apoogized to each other and then fluffed it off by using the Instruction talk or meeting part to say how scriptural it is for 2 elders to get into a heated argument.....But of course, if a lowly publisher pulled that same stunt, they'd get it good by the "shepherds".