Starting the paperwork to adopt Prisca
Steve
Playing The Hand You Are Dealt
by jst2laws 72 Replies latest jw friends
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MegaDude
Every Ex-JW who has left the organization carries one positive trait and that is they had the will and the strength to say "no" to the abusive "shepherd" which ruled our lives for a time. Maybe you said "no" when it came to being coerced to teach silly and destructive and hurtful doctrine, or you said "no" to the Society when you didn't want them to control your sex life anymore and you got the boot, or when you realized The Watchtower is about control instead of about love and you left it. Either way, you made a choice to break from their control. That's the beginning of personal power.
I look around me and it's amazing to see how willingly and blindly people are willing to follow anyone, an organization, a person or an idea as long as it's presented with confidence and passion. I see this in religion, politics, or simply the advertising of products. Visiting other churches after the JW experience confirmed this for me. I was amazed at the silliness people were capable of believing. So many people who believed had no real substantive explanation for the most part. This led me to think being a blind follower of a person, organization or ideology is just part of the human experience until you realize the leaders are clueless and you can make your own decisions. The faster you realize you've been burned, the better. Then you begin to do *your own thinking* instead of having it prepackaged and fed to you. Perhaps this is so hard because it's frightening to take personal responsibility and your path is not clear cut. It is comforting to believe someone already has life figured out and the answers that you need about life's most personal and pressing questions that cause us anxiety. And it was majorly depressing to me to let go of that fantasy and realize I was going to have to make my own path.
I did not want to leave the JWs. I had my life arranged just the way I wanted it. I loved my wife and inlaws, I had a good job, I had many friends and acquaintances, I understood the purpose of life, and what my life's journey was going to be. I thought I was so blessed by Jehovah. Then a fiesty Bible study debated me over two years and gradually my little religious "Matrix" was exposed for what it was.
I remember very clearly one day realizing that everything I had believed was most likely wrong. And if decided to stand up against the lies the Watchtower was teaching then my tidy, neat and enjoyable life as I knew it would be over. For a couple of days I considered the real possibility of staying a JW simply to keep the life I enjoyed intact. It was, it appeared, in my own personal self-interest to stay. But then I said no. And I was right. The neat, tidy and enjoyable life I had known was over. The clear path was gone; the friends were gone; inlaws and wife gone; brother and best friend, gone; mother, gone. I was so upset I found it hard to work and make a living. I remember thinking I was maybe being punished by Jehovah for leaving the Watchtower and being distressed that I had been taken over by demons. Such is the byproduct of being a sheep of careless religious control freaks.
I wasn't sure I could have a good life outside of the Watchtower for some time after I left. I was so wrong. I'm only getting to the good stuff now. Each year that passes by gets better and better. There is a sense of understanding myself and the world that only those of us who have gone through an experience like Jehovah's Witnesses can know and appreciate. I won't spend my life enslaved to a lie, nor will it be spent in enslaving others to be magazine salesmen for a cult. For over 20 years I used to think I was so damn lucky I was born into Jehovah's organization. Now I think I'm so damn lucky to be out of it. :)
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jst2laws
xenawarrior and LittleToe,
Joelbear, "Good Living", not just good revenge, good for you too.
Hello Franklin J
Great to have you join us here and welcome to the board. Don't you wish you had a group like this to support you 25 years ago when you left?
And you will be an encouragement to many of us since you have done it, moved on. Hope to here more from you. Perhaps post you whole story for us some day.
Steve
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jst2laws
Prisca,
you learn to appreciate what you have, rather than what you don't have
Very true. I'm sorry you had such a loss at a young age. But it's nice to see that little girl grew up to become a good woman. Megadude, Yes, Jerry, you are so damn lucky. You have made a lot of progress in the last two years. Keep growing Dude. Steve
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AnnOMaly
anglise said
"When we as individuals took on the beliefs of the WTBTS wether as a young adult getting baptized into it or an adult having had a "bible study" we in effect took on a life without death. Our own mortality went into - we hoped and prayed - permanent remmision. Now having learnt to see the TRUTH about the JW teachings those of us who have left have taken on a terminal life. A difficult thing to explain to someone who never really believed. Coming to terms with that after maybe many years is very very hard."
I happen to know a few who have been stalwart members for many many decades, who came into the troof believing they would never die 'in this system', finding it tough coming to terms with the probability that they *will* die in the present world. Whether you are 'in' or 'out', it's disturbing to be faced with the inevitability of your own mortality.
Thanks for the welcome Just2Laws. I've seen you on ChannelC and enjoyed reading some of your posts .
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Beans
Every choice in life has a path, making a choice changes your path!
It's all part of the ride man!
Beans
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Valis
Yeah Beans....like taking StaminaX huh?
Sincerely,
District Overbeer
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Beans
Thats right Valis, and if I get my hands on that stuff here in Kanada there are no limits! By the wat that was an excellent choice but I was all alone at the time :(
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Valis
For my dear Brother Beans...
http://store.yahoo.com/vitasprings/stmasest.html
Sincerely,
District Overbeer
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looking
(steps in cautiously)....I have been thinking of how to get out for soooo long now... but just not sure how to do it when you are muddled up to your neck in it...( In-laws, friends...(great friends...) children's friends( basically their only associates) family....Workmates... I am such a social person.. I honestly need friends and people...I know that sounds lame.. but that is one aspect of my life that I love...Friends & family....For me it is not leaving the doctrine... although it is so scary to give up these " HOPES" I have held on to for so many years without any certainty of what lies ahead for me or my children's future...(eternal life...somewhere?)
I have read so many posts in here, but am still at a loss for what to do when you give up that faith....I need some kind of faith & serious conviction in my life....How do you go to total nothing? Do some of you hold on to parts of your old faith? Or do you let it all go? Where and how do you restart?
I lie in bed so many nights...and think ... and think...and to live this double life....Ohhhhh! my god... how totally exhausting....going to the meetings, just to be seen....making sure to comment... Why? Of course to stay in GOOD STANDING... Ridiculous huh? But I just can't hardly stand the thought of crashing my children's lives....How did some of you get through that....
Sorry for rambling sooo.....
By the way Jst2laws....I am very intrigued by your posts and experience...
