Recently at a funeral for an active JW, death was sudden and Tragic. Was surprised that that one of the disfellowshipped children of the deceased was comforted by the jw's at the funeral. I would say the majority hugged and said a few short words to the disfellowshipped child on the recieving line to comfort the family. Elders to publishers. Didnt know what the proper protocol was, wanted to know what you have seen/experienced.
Disfellowshipped at a funeral
by Yogapants 13 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
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OneEyedJoe
I think usually funerals are seen as an opportunity to love bomb someone back into the cult. They might use different phrasing, of course, but I think many make an exception on the shunning in order to try to manipulate people to return. I've seen it a number of times.
Of course, if the love bombing doesn't yield immediate results, they're cut off again just as quickly.
It's absolutely disgusting the way this cult uses death/funerals almost solely as a means of recruitment, it's rarely about the deceased at all.
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Illuminated
As OneEyedJoe stated, that's what they did to my loved one during a funeral. They lured him in. He went back in a few months later. -
OnTheWayOut
Shunning is supposed to happen there also, but because WTS often declares that they don't demand it but that members choose to shun (not true, BTW) and because humans often let their true feelings show at a funeral even when they are supposed to obey cult leaders, Jehovah's Witnesses often refrain from any serious conversations but give a brief mention of condolences and a hug.
Elders often give in too, and (as far as other JW's) would really have to be total A-holes to try to insist that members would shun at such a time and place- but some do.
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stan livedeath
a d/f child ? how old ? -
the girl next door
Its still frowned upon and certain elders will take issue with it even months after the fact, but I've seen DFd children(even well into adulthood) receive condolences and attention at funerals and gatherings in homes after funerals. I've also seen certain elders be complete assholes and demand that the DFd child not be present at the gathering in the home or elsewhere after the funeral. Some going as far as causing the majority in attendance to leave when the DFd child or family refuse to be excluded or exclude. -
LisaRose
Yeah, I was surprised to get a hug last year from my uber strict JW sister-in-law, who shuns her own children, at my brothers memorial service. It seems that no matter how much much they have been conditioned to shun, there is a part of them that doesn't want to. -
Oubliette
When my father-in-law died, three of his disfellowshipped adult children came to the funeral. There was quite a lot of hugging and crying by the active JWs.
The disfellowshipped ones came over to the house later for association (ironic, no), food and drinks. They hung out for several hours.
That was more than a decade ago. As far as I know, none of the active JWs have made any attempt to reconnect with their brothers and sister since. None.
Let's review: It's a cult!
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Dunedain
When both of my Granparents died, within a few years of each other, there were TONS of JW's at both funerals, because my parents are still "IN", and have been since the 70's. My parents have hundreds of JW "friends", and MANY TRUE friends, both JW and not.
Anyway, i am/was DF'd, and almost EVERYBODY came up to me and hugged me, and gave me condolences for losing my Grandparents. Of course, i know, and rightly so, they were there more for my Father, as it was his parents who died, but i was treated very "normal".
I was love "bombed" by the Elders, but many in the R&F did not care what anybody "thought", and went up to me. There was one IDIOT elder, and he was always an idiot, the fact that he IS an Elder, shows how desperate they are for "qualified men", and this dopes ONLY words to me, at the funeral, were " Have you thought about coming back to the truth". Out of respect for my Father, i did NOT kick his knees out, punch him in his throat, and carry him over my shoulder and out the funeral homes front door. Instead, i said "no", and walked away.
As nice as this was, to at least be "acknowledged" by these people, i had to go to the Kingdom hall like 6 months later, for a brothers who was a business partner of mines funeral talk. Well ALL those SAME Elders, WOULD NOT EVEN LOOK AT ME NOW. It was ridiculous, almost comical. I felt like saying, "what happened", remember like 6 months ago we said hello, now you are literally waling by me, pretending i am not here". If it didnt hurt so much, it would be almost childish in behavior, like they were scared little 4 year olds of the "boogey man".
Quite a few of the R&F, DID acknowledge me at the KH, and waved or smiled, BUT NOT the elders, but yet just 6 months before, they were love bombing me at a funeral. CRAZY!!!!!!
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NVR2L8
When my dad died my disassociated daughter attended the funeral infomercial at the hall and several jw spoke with her while others totally ignored her. She wasn't invited to the gathering at my brother's house afterwards. Either way she wouldn't have attended knowing that their love bombing is only to get her to return to the cult.