Have You Found Your Place in the World?

by Rainbow_Troll 34 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  Rainbow_Troll

  We were all told when we were in the Watchtower that we should be grateful to be part of such a loving family. We were told that just beyond the superficial glamour of the world was a quagmire of despair, emptiness and pain waiting to suck us in. Obviously, we took that part with a mountain of salt or we wouldn't be here today. My question is: have you found the Watchtower's warning to be an empty threat meant to keep you penned in or has it turned out to be prophetic?

  Speaking for myself, I am in the latter category. While I still far prefer the cold indifference of the world to the stifling meddlesomeness of the bOrg, I've found the Watchtower's evaluation of worldly life to be largely accurate: Life IS meaningless. Most of the young people I know ARE drug addicts. I don't have a relationship with anyone, but those who do don't seem to derive any lasting happiness from them; it's just a lot of passionate sex in the beginning followed swiftly by fighting, cheating and bitterness. Most people I know, in one way or another, are simply hedonists with no goals, ethics or spirituality.

  Personally, I hate BOTH lifestyles. I hate puritanical religions and their schizophrenic fantasies, but I also hate the nihilistic way of life that I see so many atheists leading. I've personally found my own alternative beyond that false dichotomy, but what I have yet to find is a community I could join that shares some of my values. Has anyone here had any luck in this regard? Do you have any suggestions?
• 

  LifesNotOver

  No, I haven`t had any such luck. And, no, I don`t have any suggestions. What I AM exploring is the idea of stopping looking for any community or group. People tell me I need to find one, that it`s not healthy to live without one and to be without friends.. I wonder, though. I`m happy currently living my life doing what pleases me. I`m not hurting anyone. It`s been 7 months since I left any so-called friends, left my so-called husband, left my town for a new one, left the JWs. I`m most definitely an introvert. Anyone else here stopped looking to make friends or stop trying to find a group or community.
  
• 

  millie210

  I think there is a pretty good balance here on this forum.
• 

  LongHairGal

  RAINBOW TROLL:

  Thanks for sharing your heartfelt post. First, let me say that I assume you are young (twenty something?) and raised in the JW religion. Am I wrong?

  I am alot older than you. I came into the JW religion as a young adult in the workforce. I was raised Catholic. I became interested in JWs because I had a interest in end-times prophecies.

  I already felt I had a "place" in the world and I didn't seek this from the Witnesses. I felt their intrusive meddling too much.

  As far as what you say about young people being drug addicts, etc., I have to say this is more of a problem today as opposed to when I was young. There were certainly drugs back then (I tried pot but didn't like it). I didn't like not being in control, so drugs weren't for me. I had plenty of disappointment and heartbreak and can certainly commiserate that being young isn't easy. It isn't all miserable either and I had my happy moments.

  Now that I am older, I like myself much better and am happier than when I was younger. Even though I don't like getting "old" and certainly wish I had the face and body I had back in the day, I am in a better place mentally.

  As far as life in the world in general: people have always had anxiety over making a living, raising children and feeding and clothing themselves (depending on what country, era or political system).. I don't consider life to be meaningless. I love nature and the possibility of love and the few friends I have.

  The Jehovah's Witness religion is unnatural and has done its members (especially young people) a disservice by making them afraid of simply living and also urging them not to get skills and education to make their way in the world. This is why my outlook is possibly different: I wasn't raised there.

  But, please be positive and take just one day at a time. You can do it.
• 

  Finkelstein

  I hate puritanical religions and their schizophrenic fantasies, but I also hate the nihilistic way of life that I see so many atheists leading.

  The purpose in life is try to make your life and others better and many atheists including myself have tried to live upon that social ideology concept.

  It takes human endeavor to make all humidity's life better for all.
  
• 

  dubstepped

  Yes, I've found my place. We have great friends that are caring, educated, and have similar interests. Honestly most were our cleaning clients, families that we worked with for years. They were in a higher class than we were. We were raised poor. But these people aren't rich either, just nice middle or maybe upper middle class people living lives bigger than themselves. They're thoughtful and philosophical, and they took interest in us.

  Life has the meaning you give it.
• 

  GrreatTeacher

  Eh, finding a community that shares your values is overrated.

  Yeah, young people do drugs and screw up relationships. They're inexperienced.

  I'm over 40 and now most of the people I know don't do drugs, are in stable relationships, are homeowners and are raising lovely children.

  Most of them were also stupid and did stupid things when they were young.

  You, yourself is the only one you can count on to make good choices that will put you on the path to a fulfilling life.

  I do hope you can believe that your social milieu is not the only one out there, and you have the ability to trade up. But, you've got to do it alone.
• 

  steve2

  While I still far prefer the cold indifference of the world to the stifling meddlesomeness of the bOrg, I've found the Watchtower's evaluation of worldly life to be largely accurate: Life IS meaningless. Most of the young people I know ARE drug addicts. I don't have a relationship with anyone, but those who do don't seem to derive any lasting happiness from them; it's just a lot of passionate sex in the beginning followed swiftly by fighting, cheating and bitterness. Most people I know, in one way or another, are simply hedonists with no goals, ethics or spirituality.

  Man you betray such superficial knowledge of humanity - you need to widen your circle of associates or open your eyes or both. You sound like someone who is detached from humankind, quick to judge and stand-offish. Your account reads like Watchtower propaganda. What nonsense JW organization spouts about people "in the world" - the phrase even implies something unworthy and distasteful" "in the world". It oozes judgement and lack of empathy.
• 

  just fine

  Yes I have found my place. I am happy. I think you need to broaden your horizons, if everyone you know is a drug addict and has no ambition. Finding commonality with people doesnt mean you have to agree on everything or believe exactly the same thing. Get involved in your community. I volunteered at the animal shelter, did Habitat for Humanity, Soroptomist, and other groups. I also joined rec league sports. I went to college. So many "worldly" people have shown kindness throughout my journey.
• 

  steve2

  Just fine answered far more tactfully and helpfully than me!