I had an Uncle John who never married, lived by himself. He was a good cook. He never washed dishes, or hardly ever - he put all the plates, pots and pans in the refrigerator and used them repeatedly. He lived into his late 80s. (He wasn't a JW - my husband and I are the only ones out of either family to fall into the WT trap, except for my grandmother. But she was into her senility when she got baptized.)
Have You Found Your Place in the World?
by Rainbow_Troll 34 Replies latest jw experiences
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mfrederick
...just beyond the superficial glamour of the world was a quagmire of despair, emptiness and pain waiting to suck us in...
...I still far prefer the cold indifference of the world to the stifling meddlesomeness of the bOrg, I've found the Watchtower's evaluation of worldly life to be largely accurate: Life IS meaningless. Most of the young people I know ARE drug addicts. I don't have a relationship with anyone, but those who do don't seem to derive any lasting happiness from them; it's just a lot of passionate sex in the beginning followed swiftly by fighting, cheating and bitterness. Most people I know, in one way or another, are simply hedonists with no goals, ethics or spirituality...
I hate puritanical religions and their schizophrenic fantasies...
I realize these are not the entirety of your posts, but as someone not a part of the JW religion I see this as painting a very bleak picture. I know perception can be a part of a person's "reality".
I know you are sincere in these views. "The World" is not a perfect place. But please, if you are depressed, get help. I have friends. Certainly not many. But for those who have let me see into their lives, I have found none who are "simply hedonists with no goals, ethics or spirituality..."
Some of these are highly religious, some not at all. My friends are people, a mix of good and bad. I don't mean to come off as a know it all. I have been very depressed at times. And I have no understanding of what Jehovah's Witnesses go through.
But you sound very depressed. Please get help if you are. And I have the same concerns for anyone who sees the world as you do. As far as I can tell there is at least one other poster on this thread who may feel this way.
And for lurkers who also see the world like this, I am concerned for you as well.
Mike
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Rainbow_Troll
Mike: I realize these are not the entirety of your posts, but as someone not a part of the JW religion I see this as painting a very bleak picture. I know perception can be a part of a person's "reality".
I know you are sincere in these views. "The World" is not a perfect place. But please, if you are depressed, get help. I have friends. Certainly not many. But for those who have let me see into their lives, I have found none who are "simply hedonists with no goals, ethics or spirituality..."
Some of these are highly religious, some not at all. My friends are people, a mix of good and bad. I don't mean to come off as a know it all. I have been very depressed at times. And I have no understanding of what Jehovah's Witnesses go through.
But you sound very depressed. Please get help if you are. And I have the same concerns for anyone who sees the world as you do. As far as I can tell there is at least one other poster on this thread who may feel this way.I suppose I could be depressed, but I feel so much better than I did just four years ago that it's really hard to see myself that way.
But you are right, it is a matter of viewpoint. I think someone who loves to drink, do drugs, buy things and have lots of casual sex would have a fairly optimistic view of a world like this. The problem is not with the world, but with myself. I know that I just don't belong here. My incarnation on this planet must have been some kind of mistake.
But here I am and I have to make the best of it. I don't want to adjust and become the type of person who would feel at home here so I've found that the best coping strategy is to ignore my surroundings as much as possible and immerse myself in the activities that do give me pleasure: reading, taking long walks in nature, writing poetry, indulging in a warm pot of tea. There are worthwhile things in this world, but it obviously is not optimized for my personal fulfillment. It doesn't make me depressed; discontent would be a better description of the way I feel. Dukkha (as the Buddha used it) would be even better. I'm not suicidal, but neither am I dreading death.
Oh, and I've sought help but to no avail. Most psychiatrist seem to be little better than drug pushers. They tried to get me hooked on medication that did nothing for my mood, but did make me sick. There might be some genuinely helpful mental health specialists out there, but most of the ones I have encountered were quacks.
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Half banana
RT try to move where you can be close to others who have a broader view of life than your present neighbours have!
If you can’t move, then join societies/groups/clubs who discuss the larger world in a sensible way. You might try a humanist group or philosophical society or as recommended above; a book group. Another good avenue is to take up tertiary education and as I found out you will be learning useful things along with many cheerful intelligent people.
Something I have realized since leaving the dreaded org is that if you point your life in a particular direction and aim for it; you will get there.
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Rainbow_Troll
I've lived in four states and visited many places. Though I admit most of those places have been poor, since I couldn't afford to live in a rich or middle class area. Right now I live in a trailer park along with other very poor white people (I guess we would be 'white trash' in the eyes of those who are better off). I literally can't afford to live anywhere else at this point and the jobs around here don't pay enough to offer me any hope of upgrading my living conditions. Frankly, as much as I would love to have my own apartment, I'm actually very grateful to have a place at all. I've been homeless more than once.
I'm not aware of any humanist, philosophical or book clubs in my area but there are plenty of internet forums available for those types of discussions (that's why I'm here).
There is a small community college here but when I say small, I mean that it's only a single room. They don't teach any subject that you could get a BA in. I don't think it should be allowed to call itself a college. Colleges should be places of education that offer degrees and are staffed by credentialed teachers. If you want to teach senior citizens how to use Windows 7, don't call it a college course, call it a computer education class.
My experiences in the public school system have really turned me off of formal education anyways. I much prefer just opening up a textbook and studying it on my own. If I need help there are lots of internet forums staffed by experts in every field who are willing to help students at no charge; as well as YouTube channels for all the major universities. I think my only real chance of getting a university education at this point is going overseas where higher education is free even to foreigners. That's something I'm currently working on but I still have to find some way of supporting myself while I earn my degree.