"We Miss You! (but only at the meetings)"

by Funchback 41 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  Funchback

  It has been a good (7) weeks since I've last attended a KH meeting. This weekend, however, the calls of "encouragement" came rolling in. On Saturday, a brother (actually a very decent, likable, and genuine man) left me a message and said that he misses me at the meetings. On Sunday morning, I turn on my cell phone and I have a message waiting from a 20-year-old sister: "Hi, Brian. It's Andrea. I just want to make sure we're going to see you today at 1:00 (that's the start of the meeting). I'll call you later, okay?" Then, tonight when I returned home from watching the Eagles, my wife says that my LITERAL brother (my flesh and blood), who is also an Elder (and Pioneer) at my (now former) KH, called and asked her to have me call him back. Mind you, my brother never had the time of day for me even when I WAS a loyal dub (even though we went to the same hall and lived in the same apartment building). Not really wanting to call him back, I was slightly prodded by my JW wife to call him. Here's how it went:

  It started off casual. Hey. Hello. Stuff like that. Then, the "I miss you" line. Controlling the conversation, I remind him that he lives two blocks away and he can stop by anytime he wants (he and his wife bought a house two years ago). I asked him what he's been up to and he told me about a cruise he went on. After the NORMAL convo stuff, he said the magic words I heard all weekend: "Well, we miss seeing you at the meetings." Again, I said I miss him too and the he is welcome to visit me anytime. I gave him no hints or misleadings that I would try to visit him AT THE KH. If these folks TRULY miss me then they can come visit me OR invite me to dinner or a movie.

  If you only miss me when I'm NOT at the meetings, then you don't really miss me. Save your UN-genuine love for the sucker down the street.

  PS...I also received a letter from a 50ish year-old sister who wrote that she misses seeing me at the meetings but she asked that I not write back because she won't be able to bear the weight I might lay on her (regarding why I'm not attending).
• 

  NEWWORLDSLACKER

  Hi Funchback , I have gone through the same thing recently . Sad to say that it only lasted for about a month in my case . That is untill just this weekend .... they have threatend me with dfing for being around my freind who is da . they can be quite loving actually .....not .

  stick in there :)

  NwS
• 

  shamus

  WOO HOO, FUNCHPACK! CHECK OUT ALL THE FRIENDS THAT YOU ARE MISSING!

  I am sure that you realize that they are under orders right now from someone to "Encourage" you, or, they were asked by brother so and so,"Could you please go encourage Brian"... Although the one person has nice motives, the rest do not. Just remember where it's coming from.

  They will get the hint soon enough when you just don't show up sooner rather than later... then you'll be "bad assosiation" and they will run away from you like someone with leprosy.

  Oh, MEMORIES...
• 

  Satanus

  "Only at the meetings". Since they all go into a group trance at meetings, saying that is like when alchohalics only want to hang out together when they are drunk. How disfunctional is that?

  SS
• 

  heathen

  They probly just had one of their meetings where they go over the missing faces at the hall and to encourage members to contact the ones they know and guess what , you can even count it as time in the feild service . These people are so lame and predictable it's really sad actually .
• 

  Stacy Smith

  I got some of those 'we miss you comments' when I first stopped attending. Once a car group saw me oustide of their donut stop and all the sisters came over, gave me hugs and told me how much they missed me. I smiled and said that I think they really don't miss be at all. Oh they all insisted how much they missed me. I said "let me remind you sisters that I haven't moved or changed my phone number".

  The smiles disappeared faster than a sperm donar.
• 

  heathen

  The smiles disappeared faster than a sperm donar. LOL . You caught them there . They probly demonized you behind your back and then pretend to have missed you .
• 

  Nikita

  It started off casual. Hey. Hello. Stuff like that. Then, the "I miss you" line. Controlling the conversation, I remind him that he lives two blocks away and he can stop by anytime he wants (he and his wife bought a house two years ago). I asked him what he's been up to and he told me about a cruise he went on. After the NORMAL convo stuff, he said the magic words I heard all weekend: "Well, we miss seeing you at the meetings." Again, I said I miss him too and the he is welcome to visit me anytime. I gave him no hints or misleadings that I would try to visit him AT THE KH. If these folks TRULY miss me then they can come visit me OR invite me to dinner or a movie.

  If you only miss me when I'm NOT at the meetings, then you don't really miss me. Save your UN-genuine love for the sucker down the street.

  Hey Brian! Ok, I can just hear both your voices in my head so clearly, LOL. Now, what I want to know is at any time did he ever ask you if anything was wrong? what happened, etc. Although, I think early on, they don't want to ask those type of questions, hoping you are just going through a phaze, and you'll be back.

  PS...I also received a letter from a 50ish year-old sister who wrote that she misses seeing me at the meetings but she asked that I not write back because she won't be able to bear the weight I might lay on her (regarding why I'm not attending).

  Oh my! I got a couple of those "guilt" trips, too!

  Doesn't it feel invigorating to have all the control now?!

  Leslie
• 

  sidney

  I completely know what you are going through as I went through it myself. Friends that I thought were friends suddenly would only talk about the meetings and spiritual stuff, where as before we talked about other stuff. They practically ignored my husbands existance ( he had drifted out before me) almost blaming him on me drifting out. The phone calls and visits didn't last long and they soon treated me like a stranger - so much for unconditional love!! and now my oldest friends say they can't see me as often as it might weaken their faith! It does get easier, but I still nearly four years on find it hard and have guilty feelings but I am happy now, which I wasn't when I was in the borg. I am thinking of you as are everyone else. Sidney
• 

  blondie

  Controlling the conversation, I remind him that he lives two blocks away and he can stop by anytime he wants (he and his wife bought a house two years ago).

  Funchback, that brings back memories. I was inactive before some years ago. I brought that point up to the elders who called on me. I told them that since I had stopped attending that only 5 people had called me briefly, only to say that missed seeing me at the meetings. I said they knew where I lived, why not come by for dinner or go out for a movie, etc. Silence...oh, they're too busy.

  It is blackmail. We will be your friend only if you do things we think you should do.

  Who needs "friends" like that?

  Blondie