Song parody: Beverly Hillbillies

Seeker

[Sung to the tune of the Beverly Hillbillies]

Come and listen to a story about a man named Chuck
A rich presbyter, he was about to lose his luck,
as one day he was listenin' at a church,
so up through the years we've been left in the lurch.

Cult, that is, measuring pyramids.

Well the first thing you know ol' Chuck the millionaire
Kinfolk said "Chuck move away from there"
Said "Brooklyn is the place to see the sights"
So he loaded up his church and moved to Brooklyn Heights.

New York, that is. Wall Street types, movie stars.

Well now its time to say good bye to Chuck and all his kin.
And they would like to thank you folks for your being roped on in.
You're all invited back again to this locality,
To have a heapin' helpin' of their teaching for you and me

New Light that is. Blinking on and off.

Y'all behave now, y'hear?

SlayerLayer

LOL
Now that is funny.

"Forget the tribe, my pants have spoken."

patio34

Seeker,

Bravo! A standing ovation for cleverness!

Pat

COMF

Now, Brooklyn paints a picture of apocalyptic scenes:
You can earn your own survival by a-sellin' magazines,
But you gotta hurry up because it's coming any day
So get out there on the street bangin' doors without delay.

Field service, that is: book bags; Dairy Queens.

The only ones surviving are Jehovah's faithful slave
If you do what they tell you then perhaps you might be saved
Run to a Kingdom Hall and huddle up inside
And don't be touching anything that you have been denied.

Remnant things, that is: heirs with Christ; wine and bread.

You better not be startled by the changing of The Word;
Best that you forget the things that you have seen and heard
Accepting that new light means what Brooklyn says it does:
It goes to something different, and then back to what it was.

Bullshit, that is: wild guesses; weasel words

Seeker

Brilliant, COMF!

Farkel

Ok, Seeker. I'll toss my hat into the ring:

"Come an' listen to my story about a man named 'Joe,'
He wuz the biggest jerk as religious leaders go.

"He whipped up his crowds with such fer-o-ci-tee,
And then he created his Theocra-cee!

"Rules, that is. Regulations. Shunning.

"He wanted little dubs dumber than-a-brick,
And sold them his books, 'here! take your pick!'

"And then one day, while looking for some fame,
He said, 'hey guys, I'm gonna change our name!'

"Witnesses, that is: Jehovah's. dubs.

"He said 'sell books, or God will make you toast,'
'"The more you can sell, the more that I can boast.'

"The more that they sold, the more Joe got rich,
For the poor little dubs, life became a bitch.

"Poverty, that is. Dashed hopes. Ruined lives.

"While this was goin' on, old Joe took his drink,
Yet most of his dubs were living on the brink.

"He said 'sell my stuff and give the dough to me,'
'And you can live your lives in abject po-ver-tee.'

:Cynicism, that is. Arrogance. Greed."

Farkel

safe4kids

Bravo! Bravo!!

ENCORE!!!

You guys are brilliant: seeker, comf, and farkel!! Oh god...i was laughing so hard....

Dana

Farkel

Ok, I slammed Joe. Let's give Freddie the same thing:

"Come and listen to my story 'bout a man named Fred,
"He would really woo the crowds and he just knocked them dead!"

"He said that '75 would truly be the 'Day,'
"And people loved his words: 'we'll finally get to Play!'"

"Paradise, that is. Scam. False Prophecy."

"Old Freddie loved to dress in goofy, funky clothes,
"And he took prophecy and brought it to new lows,

"But Babylon the Great was his great claim to fame,
"The poor little twerp, he never laid a dame!"

"Poontang, that is. Boinking. Nookie.

"Freddie said that girls were like those cows in heat,
"And with that goofy crap, he was very hard to beat.

"Old Freddie loved his pens, had 20 in his shirt,
"But at age 99, old Freddie bit the dirt.

"Dirt nap, that is. Kicked the bucket. Croaked.

"Every since that day, the dubs have had no champ,
"They're just a muckin' 'round, no light is in the lamp.

"But just you wait and see, Theocracy will rule!
"For every single day, there's born another fool!

"Dupe, that is. Sucker. Chump."

Farkel

think41self

ROTFLMFAO

Oh my god, you guys are hilarious. Seeker, what a wit.

Comf, you can call it, babe.

Farkel...Bravo, I don't know which version I liked better!
Hee Hee

think41self

patio34

Farkel, Comf, and Seeker,

Where do you guys get this stuff! You are so witty and talented! It's hilarious.

Pat

Song parody: Beverly Hillbillies

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