Hi friends,
I am getting ready to write an article on ?Growing Old in the Spiritual Paradise? and would like your input if you can!
?Growing Old in the Spiritual Paradise?
by Dogpatch 14 Replies latest jw friends
-
-
Dogpatch
Let me try posting this again, didn't come through:
Hi friends,
I am getting ready to write an article on "Growing Old in the Spiritual Paradise" and would like your input if you can!
The theme is to show would-be converts to the Jws (as well as some who are in and could benefit to get out of the Org.) how the hopes of life in the Society and the hope of the New System coming "soon" gradually unfolds for many as a bitter disappointment, with highlights on the following issues:
1. The passing of the "high" once you are baptized and have to tow the line (beginning of disappointment). Includes the initial "awe" of the organization compared to realizing there is nothing awesome about it eventually.
2. The things you sacrificed that are unrecoverable.
3. The cynicism from realizing that you have been lied to, and what can you do about it? What gradually happens inside you?
4. The health issues, insurance, and money problems tied to the belief system.
5. The failure to get an education.
6. Putting off of marriage and children.
7. The loss of the "paradise earth."
Many of you are quite eloquent when it comes to telling your stories and background, and I would really appreciate your input on this subject. So many Witnesses are in this sad "holding pattern" and more will join us in the days ahead. Perhaps those who are starry-eyed new converts or potential new converts can be spared years of agony from your story.
Feel free to respond to as many or only one of the above points that you want. If you don't want it posted here, just email me at [email protected].
Looking forward to your posts!
Randy Watters
-
iiz2cool
At 45 I don't consider myself old by any stretch, but I think the WTS makes people age before their time. Kids don't really have a chance to be kids. Everything is geared toward the preaching work, and the stifling of self. People are encouraged to keep personal interests on the back burner until some "new system" arrives. In short, people are living, but not growing as individuals, either mentally, emotionally, or intellectually. All efforts are directed toward the organization - aka - collective, borg, hive.
I think aging in this "spiritual paradise" is accelerated through the sheer monotony of meetings, service, study of WT materials, and denial of self.
Walter
Living in hell, and loving it!
-
czarofmischief
I mentioned this in my own story - not sure where it is. It's under my member profile. Long and boring pointless story of CZAR or something like that...
But the thing that pressures you the most as time goes on is the feeling that it is never enough. They are always pushing for more, making you feel guilty for the things you didn't do. If you are going out on Saturday mornings, there will be a talk with a hint about going out on Sunday afternoons as well. Those who choose to go home after the meeting and watch the football game are perceived in official (if unspoken) doctrine as having less spirituality. If you go out on Saturday and Sunday, then they are wondering why you don't take a day off work and auxiliary pioneer. Then they want regular auxiliaring. But keep up your contributions! And then regular pioneer!
Most people are sucked in to this gradual increasing of the pressure into completely subsuming their lives to the organization's recruitment efforts.
You could pile up thousands of hours of "service" and then be completely disheartened by some jerk on the platform reading a scripture that says, "Probably you may be concealed in the day of Jehovah's anger." There is a sense that no matter how much you offer up, or how hard you are trying, it just might not be good enough for the Big Guy at Armageddon.
So one of the biggest sacrifices is the relationship with God. JW's are scared, unsure if they are good enough, and always tired of trying harder and harder. The constant slight pressure on their guilt pedal gets them revved up until they burn out completely. Dubs have traded a real, personal relationship with Somebody that I personally think is pretty cool, unassuming, and undemanding for an image created by the WT and its drones. This image is not one of a loving Heavenly Father, but some kind of warped Egyptian taskmaster, whipping his slaves into a frenzy of brickmaking and pyramid building - pointless efforts for someone else's all-too-human ego.
You can't ever completely satisfy the Egyptian slavedriver - the more you do, the more he makes. But God? The real God? He's a lot more relaxed and loving. A sense of humor. Likes to hear from you, just to say hi. Likes to see you imitating him in terms of love and compassion and humor and art and strength.
He made life, not because He wanted slaves, but because He wanted to spread the enormous Love he has. And that tolerant, wise, kind image of God is something that the dubs won't have as long as the WT keeps beating them.
CZAR
-
frenchbabyface
Ok before I read answers : don't worry my input we'll be short"Growing Old in the Spiritual Paradise? HELL MAN
-
Nosferatu
Hello Randy!
My mother became a JW when I was 5 years old back in 1983. This was the age that holidays were taken out of my life, and I was taught to live my life in obedience to Jehovah. When my mother started studying, I was full of questions regarding things that I was taught. I remember asking how long until Armageddon, and my mother responded with "Not even five years". This put the "fear of God" into me.
Over the years, I had put my trust in Jehovah when I was picked on at school. I knew that these people would be destroyed at Armageddon for persecuting one of Jehovah's people. I was taught never to fight and just walk away, but that is impossible when you're sitting in a class of 20 students trying to get perfect marks. I developed an incredibly low self-esteem and my self-confidence was almost non-existant.
Years after I had left the truth, I still had the lingering thought of "what if Armageddon still comes before the 1914 generation dies?" When I found out that the doctrine had been changed, I was furious. I was mad that a teaching I was taught ever since I was 5 years old wasn't true. I had believed in a lie for years. I then abandoned any belief I had aquired through the Jehovah's Witnesses. Why should I put my trust in people who have lied to me? Because of this lie, I lost a childhood, and many valuable life experiences I should have aquired earlier in life. I had to learn how to date, how to stand up for myself, and how to fix all the mental problems that were created in the 13 years I was associated with the JWs.
-
happy man
HMMmmmmmm
This US wittneses, they are radher fanatic I think, I have grown upp in sweden,always thinking we never now the day, bibel say so, why badher about that.
I have not sacrifce anything, have my one company, widh some inployies,
I have a near frind how was studing ekonomic, in the early 60 ies.
He have now a very nice work , making a lot of money, and do you now what he is also PO in A CONG IN US. He move ther in yhe 80 ies.
Inssurance is ofcourse some we all are obligated to have, even if in sweden the state fix this I have also privat insurance, if you dont you are irresponsibel.
When it come to marrige I find a marvelus wife in the truth, quess when i married 1975.
Now we have 5 children, one inn 3 out, they have fredom to do what they want from me.
I have also been elder fore over 20 year in this time, even if i quite now.
So some have your expiriens some my, I think you can not blame anyone, they have give you addvise, but it is upp to yourself to do what you think is best, and I havent been punnished fore the way I take, my friend in Us have surley not been pushed for he go aginst the addvise 40 years ago to not studie, he is as I say PO now so you can say he have been blessed, if you ant to bee sarcastisk.
We was some yongsters who use to joke about this how we think was littel to much fanatic, going to bhetel and things like that, we say they have very littel brain, perhaps it was like that I dont now, but please we have a brain to think widh and we are responisbel fore what we deside to do, never I can blame anyone else , this is unfair and a littel like 5 years old boys do.
greatings from HM
-
franklin J
Hey dogpatch:
You raise some stunning points----from those of us who were raised in the JWs, I left when I was 21, and still had time to change and make a go of it otherwise. I would like to think that you are never to old make the break, but, I could be wrong.
I think of it as a sailing vessel---the same wind that can blow a ship across the ocean , can also dash it against the rocks. It is the "set of the sail" that makes all the difference.
There are some people that may be happy, no stress, withing JWs, and for those, I wish them well.
But for those of us who are not satisfied with the "dogma" and limited lifestyle, then leave ( assuming you are of age to do so). Religion---ANY RELIGION- should be a support system to nurture us and answer the unanswerable questions---when it starts to condemn us and vilify us it is UNHEALTHY for US. For survival we must GET OUT. I would like to think that this could be done at any age. Having a support system of friends ( Non JW) is the way I managed to do it. I understand, others may not have been so fortunate. This board is a valuble resource for them;for all of us,
been there, done that
Frank
-
iiz2cool
Ok, I'll answer a few of these areas here:
1. The passing of the "high" once you are baptized and have to tow the line (beginning of disappointment). Includes the initial "awe" of the organization compared to realizing there is nothing awesome about it eventually.
My "high" started to fade the day I was baptized. There were 6 of us from my hall that were baptized at the same time, and there was a party for them that evening. Unfortunately, only 5 of the 6 were invited. I wasn't. I began to see then that there was an intense popularity contest in the congregation; one that I just could not get interested in. Then there were all the assignments in the congregation, but progress in the congregation was not necessarily tied to one's performance in their assignments. Once again, it was a popularity contest. It was very difficult for a man to make "progress" in the congregation if he had no relatives who were elders. In many ways, the organization seems like an MLM company.
3. The cynicism from realizing that you have been lied to, and what can you do about it? What gradually happens inside you?
I felt something was wrong for a long time because of the hypocrisy, double standards, and general lack of love. I had some doctrinal concerns as well, but put those on the back burner, and I waited on Jehovah, as we're told to do. The turning point for me was when I became aware of the child abuse cases, and the society's policies with regard to this issue. I began to do some research on the society, it's history, it's own literature, and cults in general, and realized that I was lied to and manipulated for the last 20 years. I became so angry at the deception that I became physically ill. I eventually began to communicate with Ex-Jehovah?s witnesses on Internet discussion boards, and this played a great part in helping me get over my anger. I'm happy to say I've made some close friends here.
4. The health issues, insurance, and money problems tied to the belief system.
We experienced health and financial problems while pioneering. Congregation members often said to us that we must be "grieving Jehovah?s holy spirit" or these things wouldn't be happening to us. We lost our apartment and had to move in with my mother for a while, after I had an injury, and at the same time a "brother" refused to pay a $3,000 debt to me. Of course,
"Brothers" are not allowed to take "brothers" to court, and the elders refused to even hear about the issue.
6. Putting off of marriage and children.
I got married, but to someone who turned out to be incompatible in so many ways. We had no children, thinking we'd have plenty of opportunity in the "new system". We put other marital problems on the back burner as well, thinking these would be cured by the "new system". We should never have gotten married, and now it's on the verge of ending.
Walter
-
Dogpatch
Thanks for your input so far!
Czar - You are quite eloquent, I will take the time to re-read your story.
Nosferatu - thank you, I would like to use your comments!
Happy Man - You are lucky to live outside the US as it would not be the same over here I think. :-))
Also thank you to Frank and Walter, good points for me to use!
Randy