does anyone remember being a child as a JW and not having holiday?

by franklin J 39 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  franklin J

  I am curious to know how many others shared the same experiences as me as a child, growing up as a JW.

  Surfing this board has brought back a flood of memories ( I am secure enough to deal with them) not all good. I have been away from JWs for sometime, and remember being a child in school and having to explain why I do not salute the flag, why I have to leave the room when there is a birthday or christmas party, why I had to explain when I was seen going door to door ( I grew up to be a pioneer). Being "different" is hard for a child.

  Now that I have 3 children of my own, who are fortunatelly NOT growing up as JW, to see how secure and well adjusted they are in school is comforting. I recall the hard time I had as a child, which I directly hold the JW teachings responsible for. I ache for the small impressionable child I was, having to be taught that " all these bad kids will be gone at armagedon". You are different because you are " a servant of Jehovah" A terrible concept for a child to have to contemplate.

  Any similar experiences, and how are you dealing with them?

  Frank
• 

  sens

  Yer, The No Xmas...No B'day thing was rotton....

  I try not to think of my life before the age of 16...
• 

  Nosferatu

  I ache for the small impressionable child I was,

  Same here. I know damn well that I'll never recapture my childhood. It's difficult realizing that that part of my life is gone forever.

  I remember dealing with the kids in school, but that wasn't the hard part. My mother forced me to wear clothes that were 10 years out of style, using the reason "Jehovah's people are supposed to stand out". Standing out brought on punching, kicking, teasing, you name it.

  When I switched high schools, I got myself some new clothes, and vowed never to stand out in the hall for the national anthem, and to fully participate in any holiday activity I damn well please. Nobody knew I was a JW leading a double life.

  The only way I can deal with what I went through is knowing that MY kids aren't going to experience the same trouble I had.
• 

  Satanus

  Aah, don't remind me. In my teen dub days, all those holidays were out. Not only that, but saturdays were for working on the farm, sundays, of course the meetings. No breaks, except, some saturdays when we kids would get picked up by somebody from the cong to do field service. They had to drive 8 miles to our place, then we would spend the day doing country territory. One of the guys would sometimes plan a wiener roast as part of the day. Those were fun.

  It's nice to know that your kids are growing up normally.

  SS
• 

  heathen

  I wasn't a dub but I still can't see why people are so hyped up about christmas or birthdays and I certainly don't think children should have to say pledge of allegiance or salute the flag , I would have to say there is nothing wrong with not doing these things .
• 

  unbeliever

  I remember my mom picking me up from school early when the class would have parties. I hated that. I really wanted to stay. I also hated going out in FS on Thanksgiving and X-mas Day. Nobody wanted to see any dubs at their door and I sure as hell did not want to be there. I go all out on the holidays now.
• 

  franklin J

  heathen: your response begs a reply:

  I do agree with you, there is nothing inherently wrong with NOT doing any of these things ( holidays, saluting the flag). Fortunatley for us America is still a free country if you choose to NOT do these things.

  the premise here is that you are taking a young impressionable child and forcing that child to be differnt from their peers;

  hence the criticism.

  Frank
• 

  Gopher

  Franklin,

  Welcome to the forum! I have really enjoyed reading your posts this week.

  Do I remember -- the no-holiday and no-birthday stuff??? How could I ever forget!

  I ache for the small impressionable child I was, having to be taught that " all these bad kids will be gone at armagedon". You are different because you are " a servant of Jehovah" A terrible concept for a child to have to contemplate.

  Absolutely right. I was taught by the JW's that "worldly" people live for their holidays, after all it's all they have. They don't have paradise to "look forward" to.

  But you -- as a JW kid -- you have so much more hope than all these other kids! These other kids, they don't know any better. You're different, but you're told it'll all be worth it -- someday.

  Um, yeah right -- whatever, you WT Society writers and teachers. This enforced "separation" from the world leaves an imprint, a scar, that is difficult to erase.

  I still feel a tiny bit awkward at birthday parties and holidays, but it's getting easier with each passing year. And I am so glad my children won't have to have that same "scar" and emotional separation crap to deal with.
• 

  dottie

  Funny you bring this up, as my other half and I were discussing this very subject. I don't feel very "robbed" because when I hit the teen years I led quite the double life until I left home at almost 17 years of age. I was a very bad teen that make me scared to have my own teenager some day I think the hardest for me was in elementary school and standing out because of holidays, birthdays, national anthem etc.

  My other half however, led a very clean cut jw childhood. Obeyed all the rules and was an example for all other teen jw's to follow. ( I do tease him occaisionally about this...saying that I never in a million years would have fallen in love with the microphone guy). Now he, on the other hand feels VERY robbed of life experiences, childhood experiences etc. and he gets really frustrated because it's not like we can turn back time to get these things back, so he often feels like he has run out of time for alot of things.

  One thing that we have come to realize is that we have to live life for the now and not dwell on the past. It is a hard step when you feel so wronged in childhood, but as a survivor of physical and mental abuse, I have come to realize that I have never been healthier emotionally now that I have dropped that anger and frustration over things that have happened in the past. I realize that there is nothing that can be done to change that and sitting on that hurt and frustration makes one more succeptable to further hurt and frustration. There are many ways that I have found to deal with these emotions, myself, I find that writing and music have helped immensely, as well as giving me some good to come out of my childhood experiences.

  Just my 2 cents I guess Hugs to all
• 

  heathen

  Well if people can't accept you because you are different then this isn't a free country at all. I think it is because there were some people that felt so strongly about their beliefs that they "stood out "shows that personal freedom was more important than conformity or popularity .