Mom's Being Guilted to Shun Me

Lutece

I thought my mom would never change, that she'd never really go along with the shunning, but last night she wouldn't let me stay to eat at their house when my dad made dinner. My parents and I have been close all our lives, we've been through a lot together and for her to say that she has to be getting a lot more counsel from the elders. She is being guilted into shunning me, hoping it will help me eventually come back to the truth. I'm sick, didn't think I'd react this way, but I'm so depressed and feeling so mad. I guess "welcome to the club" is in order huh?

I keep thinking of egging cars at the kingdom hall, those kinds of things, but I think an article exposing the way they shun people is my best bet. I just need to find a proper outlet for it. I just went through a divorce, am working so hard to stay afloat financially and now my mom is being made to feel guilty for associating with me. I never t hought I'd see it. She's always bent the rules with other relatives before. I'm usually quite strong, but been crying my eyes out all night. I knew it would make me feel better to come and write all this down here. I do feel better.

Anne

shera

((((((Lutece))))))

WildHorses

(((((((((((((((((((Anne)))))))))))))))) Hopefully, she will think about this for a while and realise it is wrong to shun no matter what the elders say. I'm sorry you are hurting.

bebu

((((((((Lutece)))))))))

I am so very sorry to hear this.

Remind your mom:

1CO 13:1

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8 Love never fails.

I'm hoping and praying your mom focuses on LOVE as her guide. The 1974 WT guides for df were closer to love than what is taught now. Remind her!

bebu

blondie

Lutece, is your dad a JW? Your mom may come around after the elders let up a bit. Does she tell them that she sees you?

It is amazing to me the hypocrisy in this area. I know of 3 elders in this area that routinely have contact with the DF'd children and other elders know it and do nothing about it--saying it is necessary family business....

Just give her time and it sounds like she has let her love rule in the end.

Blondie

Lutece

Thank you everyone! I know so many have gone through this and it helps because people here understand. I'm feeling better, just the shock that she actually could turn against me and go along with that was hurtful, but I do know the way they mess with your head and that she's just trying to do what she thinks is right. It sure seems like we have to keep being strong.

I'm so glad we have this forum, thank you for all your encouraging words.

Anne

RAYZORBLADE

Lutece, so sorry we didn't get to meet-up at the Detroit gathering during the Labour Day weekend.

Nonetheless, it was sad to read your story here regarding Mom's change in attitude.

Damn!

I have to admit, I have no family that are JWs. But, there are many on here that do have family members whom are active JWs, and play the 'shunning game' 24/ 7.

We are here to comfort and support you.

From your neighbours in Ontario, we offer our Michigan friend, our kindest and most loving regards!

(((Lutece)))

beckyboop

(((((((((Lutece)))))))))

So sorry to hear about your shunning--it really sucks doesn't it? Just this past weekend my younger sister got married and didn't invite me. I'm not as close to my family as you obviously are, but I'd like for things to be better. It is so hard to fathom how they can justify in their minds that SHUNNING could possibly be loving in any way.

I hope you can continue to keep your family close to you, hopefully not so much that they can hurt you again so badly though. Although I personally feel like it's important to keep the lines of communication open with jw family, I can't do it at the expense of my own happiness and sanity. And I feel the only way that happens is if I give them the power to do so. I'm currently in a quandary about this, but am sure I can figure it out--and reading others' experiences helps tremendously.

Thank you for sharing--I hope things work out for you. I think as long as we love them, somehow it will work out.

Becky

PS. You mentioned your divorce went through? How are you doing? I remember reading some of your experience about your situation, so I'm interested in how your life is up to this point.

willy_think

Sorry about the situation Lutece, sounds like your folks are being warned to follow the shunning tradition or be shunned. shit or get off the pot as they say. i hope everything works out for you.

Aztec

((((Anne)))) I'm so sorry! I hope you're feeling better today.

~Aztec

Mom's Being Guilted to Shun Me

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