by Lutece 20 Replies latest social family
(((Anne))) You really should use your writing skills to come up with a column for the local paper about this. Imagine how the local community would feel about a mother shunning her daughter over a stupid religious rule. I know it's not food or web related, but maybe the editor will let it slide.
There's always an open invitation for lunch down here. Your choice, my treat.
(((Lutece)))
Thanks guys, yeah, writing an article about it is something I've been thinking about doing .I was holding off because I didn't want to add to the pressure my mom was getting, but if they make it so she stops talking to me altogether I will write something that will really hit the fan.
BeckyBoop, been doing better, went through some rough transitions, but we survived. My ex is taking more time with the kids, learning to enjoy his time with them and the kids are less stressed. It's been hard because of work, etc, but things are slowly picking up. Thankfully, I have this board to remind me there are others and many who have it a lot harder than I've ever had it. It helps keep things in perspective. Even Jourles, you poor thing. How much longer can you stand it? Hang in there!
Anne
Here's a suggestion, if your mom is as close and tender-hearted as you describe.
Sit down and have a heart-to-heart with her. Let the tears flow. Let her know that if she continues to shun you, you will not be able to bear it. And you know that such shunning will have the opposite effect, in that it will drive you further from the KH and from her. Beg her to accept you wholeheartedly as you are. Or else you will have to start limiting your association so that your heart does not break from the strain.
Then, sure, if she continues to shun, do an article. How about on Mother's day, including a nice recipe, and explain to the public why this day is bittersweet for you.
And although jgnat might not like this { hi jgnat :-) I'm waving at you..can ya see me? :-) }, Lutice, please print this out and ask your mom to read it. even if you have to mail it to her.
jgnat reached into every thought I think we ALL had as Ex-jWs, and always forced ourselves not to think about as JWs.
I thank you jgnat, for telling what you did. It helps more than you know. And if you don't want me sharing your intense post with others, just say the word and I won't from now on unless I have your permission first.
peace,
gwen
Oooh, Somebody, that I have managed to express an XJW's pain well, means a great deal to me. I have suffered a variety of griefs, but not the peculiar pain of shunning. At least not the JW version.
If I have hit the mark, sure, share it as wide as you dare.
I believe heart-to-heart can work wonders with a tender person. I would never use such an approach with a selfish, manipulative person. My daughter is one of those tenderhearts, and the one time she got in to trouble for staying out too late (she always told me where she was going, and was never late), I used the heart-to-heart approach. Broken-hearted, I wept, telling her all the things I imagined had happened to her while I waited, worried, at home. She wept, too, and promised never to grieve me so again. And she never did. My son on the other hand..... different kid, different approach.
((((((((((Lutese))))))))))
Yup! That's what the religion is all about! ... Guilt and fear!!! Guess your mom couldn't eat with a ummmm.... sinner...? Welcome to the ranks of the "shunned", my dear!!!
I'm hoping that the "natural affection" might kick in for you and your mom.
ESTEE <------------------------of the "shunned" class
I have privately determined to find out exactly who, which elder, would be trying to guilt my parents over ANYTHING... and then I beat the crap out of that elder. Hospital bad. With a bat. Maybe shove my gun in his face and pull the trigger to hear it go click and watch him piss himself.
I refuse to take crap or kneel to any tyranny or allow any punk to threaten the love that is MY RIGHT as a human being.
I keep what's mine. Snarl. Maybe you need to track down exactly WHICH elder is pulling the strings here and smack him around a bit. Castration tends to take the edge of religious fervor, maybe the boy needs a duo-tumor-ectomy.
CZAR
(((Lutece)))
((((lutece)))) sorry about your moms behavior..that really sucks. i think the they have been recently cracking down on talking to us df'd family members, my family has stepped it up a notch as well. I've been fortunate in that my mother has taken a stand and talks to me regardless of what they say or the rest of the family does. Unfortunately its only the occasional phone call here and there but its something and I appreciate that she doesnt totally cut me off like my sisters have. hang in there i have a feeling this whole shunning thing will come to a head sooner or later.
flower
