Jesus Christ Will Arrive Within The Next Four Minutes! (parody)

Nathan Natas

Yes, you read that correctly!

JESUS H. CHRIST will arrive within the next four minutes! In fact, by the time you read this, he may have alreadt arrrived!

Where? Damned if I know!

I am an self-ordained student of the Holy Book. I checked, and I am NOT DELUSIONAL!

FOLLOW ME!

The voices in my head speak to me in tongues - I don't have the foggiest floggin' idea what exactly they are saying, but they seem to sing (sounds like "My Boyfriend's Back) and I'm pretty sure I would not be permitted to be incorrect on this.

I'm a scholar! Follow me! If you don't My Lord will KICK YOUR ASS and give you everlasting life in the fires of HELL!

I am not a crackpot!

(signed) StuckInTheSameOldLifeAndLie

PS - My boy Biff (short for Biffoon) agrees with me! He's my number two witness, we call him "Captain Kopros" for his skill at reading shit.

Touchofgrey

Sorry it's 9 minutes have I missed the bus ?🤣😂

SydBarrett

stan livedeath

great--i was looking forward to jesus coming.

Beth Sarim

Sorry. I'm late too.🙂

TonusOH

You're not late, it's still just four minutes away.

scary21

I believe....... I believe........NOT.. ..........Too Funny ! I have heard it said, something is suppose to happen tonight. Something about a strange fog covering the USA. Do love your humor, reminds me of the " kiss Hank's ass " Video.

Beth Sarim

"" 'it' will be right on time"".

There we go. We can't deny that one.

blondie

Yet the WTS speaks out of both sides of their mouth, especially in regard to Matthew 24:44, a scripture the don't quote from much regarding knowing "when."

WT 10/1/2005 p.21

The illustration was fitting, for the precise date of Jesus’ coming would not be known. Earlier, in the same prophecy, Jesus said: “Concerning that day and hour nobody knows, neither the angels of the heavens nor the Son, but only the Father.” (Matthew 24:36) Jesus, therefore, urged his listeners: “Prove yourselves ready.” (Matthew 24:44) Those heeding Jesus’ warning would be ready, conducting themselves properly, whenever he would come as Jehovah’s Executional Agent.

Jeffro

Where do I sign up?

(And for all the naysayers, clearly he really means 4 minutes starting from 4 minutes before the end.)

Jesus Christ Will Arrive Within The Next Four Minutes! (parody)

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