Is There Anything That You Would NEVER Forgive?

by minimus 66 Replies latest jw friends

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  SheilaM

  Phantom: I am speaking of the type of forgivness that makes light of the tragedy that happens to a child that is abused. For instance yesterday in the news they reported a suicide of 11 year old girl they say the Father raped her in the shower, the wife was shown walking with her arm around her husband. MY point is if the allegation is true maybe if the wife had been supportive of her daughter and not her freak of a husband the tragedy might have been averted.

  Sexual abuse, drunk driving that ends in tragedy etc. are all WILLFUL acts. When you forgive this person and pretend to a child that what happend to them is nothing, that they should forgive and forget. Isn't this the reason America is such a hell hole. The VICTIM then is wrong for being angry, for feeling pain, for not being able to deal. They then become the victim AGAIN. Maybe if parents started putting their children first instead of worrying about being "socially acceptable".

  As far as this therapist, I have a good friend that was raped by her brother she is now a psychiatrist. Her Mother walked in on him in the act, she THEN shut the door and DID NOTHING. This poor girl started working with victims she now works with offenders trying, searching for WHY her BROTHER did this TO HER. Has she forgiven she will say yes. Is she a mess and has her life been a struggle to find out why her parents acted as if her brother did nothing wrong, Yes.

  I just wonder how life would be if a parent on TV after a crime said "no I don't forgive the bastard." How attitudes might change <sigh>
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  minimus

  Just for the record, I was not referring to forgiving a person that makes light of a tragedy of abuse. I am repulsed by anyone that would knowingly shut their eyes to a child's rape, especially if it is their own flesh and blood. If a wrong is committed on someone, forgiveness doesn't have to mean that you're telling a child that what happened to them is nothing. I've seen situations where people carry all sorts of hurt and anger for decades without ever trying to deal with what happened. They focus their whole life on their anger and despair. And I'm not even thinking about child abuse situations here. To minimize a rape or any abuse is simply unjustifyable. To forgive is not a sign of weakness.
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  Phantom Stranger

  I think there is some cross-pollination here between "forgiveness", which has been defined, and acting as if atrocities are "nothing" - which does not seem to be a common interpretation of the word "forgive" - even if some of us have seen the word misused in this way.

  Let's all stipulate that ignoring tragedies and crimes is wrong, sick, and despicable... I respect what you're saying, and at the same time I don't think there is a contradiction with what I'm saying. I am confident that none of us would consider that "forgiving" is "making light".

  Thanks for the clarification,

  PS
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  LyinEyes

  There has always been a question around my mother's suicide,,,,,,, that someone was there, that this person , whom I just can't say ,,,,,might have even talked her into it in her drug induced haze. This is all so very possible , the effect , the power this person had over her, and the mind controlling tools to do it , this person very well could have been part of it .

  I will go on thru my life , wondering. I may never know the whole truth, I have the real truth but I dont KNOW for sure. That has always been a conflicting , tormenting thing to deal with all these years. I have wondered if she was murdered, then I can't be mad at her, that she was a victim. I used to think if she did do that to herself then I had the right to be mad at her , that she made herself the victim.

  I know differently now,,,,,,,she was a victim of so many, not only of her own problems , but things that were too far out of her hands at that point in time.

  I will not EVER, EVER forgive that person if I found out this person murdered my mom . There is no question in my mind as I have had years to dwell on it. NO FORGIVENESS.

  If someone ever molested one of my children , I would hunt them down and.....well you get the point. I would NEVER forgive them, EVER. If my child , thru therapy, wanted to forgive that person, I wouldnt stand in the way........I would do whatever I had to do to make my child , even as an adult to find some kind of peace , in their own way. But I would STILL in my heart never forgive them.

  I do think that some wrongs just can't be forgotten or forgiven. And I don't think it is unhealthy to think that way.......at least that is the way I feel. I dont care about inner peace for myself,,,,,,I tried to think that route and it never worked for me.
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  happy man

  blues brother

  To do this more complicated. the girl is wife to an prominent elder how together widh the other elder have been wery agressive when they talk about this terribel lies about us in the media, and the man how was widh the girl long time ago, say, that we must understand that we as dfd smokers ofcourse dfd peoepl how do such bad things tell in media, ............

  also i understand that all of these are aware of what happend and are best freinds, what do you think the punishment willb bee, do we have the same as in the worrd that if it is long time ago they go ´free, even if they hide it?
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  Sassy

  I never forgave my fathers friend who fondled me as a 13 yr old. It didn't go far but he took away my naiveness of a child. I hated him till the day he died. Never did tell my father. Most things in life I do forgive more than others but this was one case where I never did. When he died I didn't even feel bad. Although I did feel a little bad that I didn't.
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  Singing Man

  I can forgive, but I don't have to forget like the Witness litature says, I always hated that line. Its the same as smacking my thumb with a hammer, I can forgive the hammer but I better not forget what just happend.
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  minimus

  When we hurt ourselves, we might even develop a scar. The scar will NEVER go away. But the pain might.
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  Doubtfully Yours

  Child abuse.
• 

  little witch

  If I may throw something into this....

  Biblicly speaking, Jesus explained forgiveness. But we forget exactly what he said.

  He spoke of forgiveness when the OFFENDING PARTY CAME TO THE VICTIM AND ASKED FOR IT!!!

  In other words, a heartfelt apology, admitting the wrong, and seeking to make things right on the part of the offender.

  I am under the assumption that we are speaking here of a wrong done, that is not brought into the open. Two different critters I think.

  Assuming we are speaking of a wrong done to us that is not brought to proper closure, then I stand with the non forgiving group. It is hard to not be angry with someone who wrongs us, and doesnt fess up, or apologize.