How disappointed I am.............. (page 2)

morty

Here it is 4.30 and I cant sleep still.What we do has parents worrying.Oh well, this gives me lots of time to think about what I will say to him when he gets up in 2 hours for school.

Dia,......Yes,cigarettes are the harder to quit then almost any illegal drug.His father actually did ask him to go outside and have a smoke with him,but my son declined.(that is where the smokers smoke when at our house...including myself) He said he said no for 2 reasons..#1 being he did not want to because he did not need nor want one and #2 he did not want to hurt his mom or dad.So I guess there is some kind of respect there.He also told us that the reason he was smoking was because he wanted to impress his new friend.(new girlfriend)and be cool.He said he broke under the presure.I must tell you,I did not fall of a turnip truck last night and he did seem very loyall when expressing his feelings to me.He also said though, when are you going to quit as well mom...........So when all said and done,yes you do have a point of him maybe trying to express himself with all his new preasures at high school and such things.He is trying to grow up to. As much as his dad asked him to go out for a smoke,I could not. I am just not ready for that yet. I am really hoping that this is just a phase and a learning experience for him,and I need ever to see him smoke.Thank-you for your respectable commets and concerns.

Razorblade.......Keeping the point to the point....I am willing and able to handle criticsm,( I did expect it) But not someone having nothing better to do but to pick my parenting apart. Meaning,if someone is doing herion,I dont think they are really capable of even being aware that there is a problem . I do know that this is a problem that I would like to resolve. Thanks for your support and guiding some people to a different post. You did that in a very nice way.

Simon.......Good point........I have decided to start the patch Wednesday! Why Wednesday you may ask,and not tomorrow,well I have other things to deal with first.

sns.......thanks for your concern........

moonwillow...........thanks for your 2 cents.........being a teen mom is know fun all the time, it has its days some times.......

Mortons68

Guest 77

M68, you surprise me by saying your disappointed. Really, what did you expect?

Guest 77

outnfree

morton68,

I'm with those who say offer to quit together. It's very difficult, I know. Been there, done that, including the quitting/restarting, quitting again/restarting again thing. I finally quit cold turkey -- about 14 years ago now. I never regretted it, and you won't either. You should both campaign for dad to quit, too, and thus fill your entire household with healthier residents.

outnfree

Odrade

when expressing his feelings to me.He also said though, when are you going to quit as well mom...........

My $.02 is that this is his way of trying to get you to quit. You say he has always tried to get you to stop smoking? I think the fact that he got caught so soon says something. Maybe he is trying to show you how much HE is worried about YOU. And in typical 15 year old fashion he is being a bit destructive about it.

I've talked to kids about this. They all say that it's totally cool NOT to smoke in school now. Some kids do pressure other kids--it's kind of a social thing, but non-smokers don't get a hard time unless they get on the smokers' case. He probably does have school stress, but kids have stress outlets unless something unusual is going on, and starting to smoke usually isn't one of the outlets. Several people I know started smoking young because they wanted to prove something to their smoking parents.

My brother in law started smoking secretly when he was 14. He did it out of rebellion against his JW parents, and also because his friends were doing it. He started out socially smoking about 3-4 a day, then eventually he was up to about a pack or so. It took him 11 years to quit. I really don't remember what it was that actually made him quit, except that he just felt so unhealthy all the time. I remember him saying one time though, that everytime he lights up, he feels stupid.

Personally, I don't think there's anything you can show him about smoking that would really be effective. Kids are smart, they know about the lung slices, the "how much will this shorten my life" websites, and the sports vs. lung function connection. Your best bet is to talk to him and really LISTEN to what he says, and what he's not saying. Try not to use the conversation as a teaching or telling time with him. Just listen. There's more to this than wanting to impress his girlfriend. I'm betting it's about you. Once you find out his real motivation, then you can figure out how to proceed.

Odrade

shera

My daughter tried smoking and she hated it,thankfully.

The way I look at is all we can do it talk and try to be a good role model.Teach them as best as we can and hope they make the right desions.There is nothing we can really do when they start to become older teens.If they are going to smoke,they are going to smoke,if they are going to have sex,they will do it.As much as I would like to chain my daughter to her room and keep her safe and away from trouble,we can't. They have sense and hope they use it wisely.

Another thing we can ground them for weeks but if they want to do something they will do it again.I remember what I was like .....kinda scarey....

Hey daughter...your smart make the right desions that wont effect your adult life negitively(yes she posts here )

GentlyFeral

My first responce to him is how the hell are you going to play all your sports if you smoke?

Not bad. But you also say --

he was and still is always on my back about quiting.

Have you called your darling boy on his hypocrisy yet? Honesty was all-important to me from my middle teens to the present day. It'll give him the brain-itch big time: "How can I expect Mom to quit if I'm still smoking?"

And another thing:

I have tryed to quite many times.All I can do is try again.

My boss, an M.D., says the single strongest predictor of quitting smoking is -- having tried to quit before. You will beat it eventually.

GentlyFeral

SixofNine

*GONG* 's Gently Feral.

Adult hypocrisy trumps adolescent hypocrisy every time.

shamus

Exacly six.

You tell your teenager not to do it, yet you do it. I am not picking you apart, just telling you how it is. It sucks....

Good for you for quitting! That goes way farther than just saying not to do it. Good for you!

morty

Thanks for all your advice......tomorrow is d day for smoking............smoking my face off right now..lol....

I start the patch in about 7 hours................hopefully this will be the last............I'll never quit quitting........

mortons68

moonwillow

((((((mortons 68))))))

good luck you can do this ! ! !

hang in there ! ! !

How disappointed I am..............

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