I've come to realize, this after talking more extensively with my witness mother in law, that these people are witnesses simply because the religion fills a hole in their life.
Its not as if she has a hard life, but she, like all of the other witnesses look forward to this paradise which is just as much her own mind's creation as it is of the watchtower society. None of them are too specific on what exactly to expect from paradise, just that life will be better. The one thing they do like to focus on is never dying, but its sad to see how this woman who has been a witness since her early teens and was promised this paradise so long ago, is now much older and will undoubtedly some day die, just like all of us. The "real" life that she has and had, in hand, has been sacrificed for a bunch of broken promises.
The one thing that they just can't get over is that if the "truth" is wrong, then what hope is there? They feel there is no hope. I tried to explain to her my hope that humanity will one day be able to solve its own problems, but that didn't satisfy her. So then, no matter what gets thrown at them logically about their religion: This docrine is wrong, this person is a liar, these "gods chosen people" are morally corrupt, etc... she has to hold on even tighter. Believing in this religion isn't a logical choice, its an emotional one.
Its like a battered wife who won't leave her abusive husband, no matter what reasoning you use to try to break her away. In the witness religion logic is an unknown language. People who have major emotional needs look to the religion to fill those needs. The similariies between being in the "truth" and an abusive relationship are striking. You are constantly put down, breaking your self esteem. Nothing you ever do is enough. Intense pressure is put upon you to be 'loyal' over rather than doing what may be the right thing in some cases. Those who are not loyal are further broken. Double standards are the norm, you are held to a different standard than they are.
In fact, I did a Google search on just "Signs of an abusive relationship". These are obviously geared towards personal relationships between two people, but notice how many times you could actually substitute the Watchtower Organization for many of these entries, I have highlighted ones I thought were especially relevant:
- Is jealous or possessive toward you. (Jealousy is the primary symptom of abusive relationships; it is also a core component of Sexual Addictions and Love Addiction.)
- Tries to control you by being very bossy or demanding.
- Tries to isolate you by demanding you cut off social contacts and friendships.
- Is violent and / or loses his or her temper quickly.
- Pressures you sexually, demands sexual activities you are not comfortable with.
- Abuses drugs or alcohol.
- Claims you are responsible for his or her emotional state. (This is a core diagnostic criteria for Codependency.)
- Blames you when he or she mistreats you.
- Has a history of bad relationships.
- Your family and friends have warned you about the person or told you that they are concerned for your safety or emotional well being.
- You frequently worry about how he or she will react to things you say or do.
- Makes "jokes" that shame, humiliate, demean or embarrass you, weather privately or around family and friends.
- Your partner grew up witnessing an abusive parental relationship, and/or was abused as a child.
- Your partner "rages" when they feel hurt, shame, fear or loss of control.
- Both parties in abusive relationships may develop or progress in drug or alcohol dependence in a (dysfunctional) attempt to cope with the pain.
- You leave and then return to your partner repeatedly, against the advice of your friends, family and loved ones.
- You have trouble ending the relationship, even though you know inside it's the right thing to do.
And then notice, Does the person you love...
- constantly keep track of your time?
- act jealous and possessive?
- accuse you of being unfaithful or flirting?
- discourage your relationships with friends and family?
- prevent or discourage you from working, interacting with friends or attending school?
- constantly criticize or belittle you?
- control all finances and force you to account for what you spend? (Reasonable cooperative budgeting excepted.)
- humiliate you in front of others? (Including "jokes" at your expense.)
- destroy or take your personal property or sentimental items?
- have affairs?
- threaten to hurt you, your children or pets? Threaten to use a weapon?
- push, hit, slap, punch, kick, or bite you or your children?
- force you to have sex against your will, or demand sexual acts you are uncomfortable with?
Again, obviously this was not a site, which can be found here http://www.recovery-man.com/abusive/abusive_signs.htm , which is talking about religious abuse, but abusive interpersonal relationships. In my opinion this makes it all the more clear how these people are really being treated. And I think it explains why it is so hard for people to listen to reason when it comes to their religion, they are co-dependent to it, they need it for emotional reasons. Its not exactly the same as someone who hangs on with an abuser, but its close. Many witnesses, like my mother in law, are fearful of facing daily life, they are fearful of reality and they have an unhealthy fear of death. The witnesses give them an answer, even though it is flawed, it is one that offers a complete answer to all of their fears.
I used to be dumbfounded when some people would just refuse to listen to logical reasoning about the witnesses, but now I understand that reasoning has nothing to do with it. They are paralyzed by fear and the religion is their security blanket, taking it away would make them have to face their fears, something that they would rather hide behind. Its not that they are bad people for doing so, just human, and this unfortunately is an affliction of many people, not just witnesses.