How to resign as an elder?

by IT Support 42 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Amazing

  Give them a VERY short letter that states you resign as an edler effective immediately. Sign and date it and keep a copy forever. Give no reasons or discussion in the letter. They will ask you why. Tell them you have some serious private personal responsibilities, and you need to devote time to it for a year or two.

  Keep going to meetings and field service ... for a while ... then gradually fade back VERY slowly ... NEVER talk to anyone about your doubts and concerns .... never reveal your real feelings ... trust no one ... then one day in about 3 years you can be forgotten about ... this works well if you move about 500 miles or more ... and never request your Publisher Records, never tell any JW you are moving ... and most of all, NEVER visit the new congregation. In time, you will be as though you were never a JW.

  That's it in a nutshell. Enjoy. However, Murphey's Law says that the harder you try to fade out slowly and carefully, will mean that you will get caught and treated in the worst possible way, in the worst possible time, and the consequences will be most painful. - Jim W.
• 

  SadElder

  When I stepped aside, notice not stepped down, I did as Amazing suggests. Simply wrote a one liner... as of this date I no longer will serve as an elder. Oh they tried all sorts of things to get me to stay but I simply kept up the front. The CO asked why, I told him it was none of his damn business and I absolutely did not wish to discuss it and that I would unleash my lawyers on him if he persisted in bothering me. That shut his mouth so fast you'ld have thought I asked him for money.
• 

  starfish422

  When I was in the process of leaving, my dad offered (to me) to step down as an elder in order to spend more time with me, helping me take steps to return to Jehovah.

  He was allowed to get reduced responsibilities (with no disgrace) when he started suffering anxiety/panic attacks a couple of years after I left.
• 

  bluesapphire

  My husband was appointed a MS. He tried to turn it down but they wouldn't let him. So he took a job three hours away and never went back to another meeting. Six months later we moved and they never heard from us again. That simple. If he had been appointed elder, it would have been the same I imagine.

  I like Amazing's idea, especially since it has proven to work. But I'm not patient enough. I wanted out right now. I'm not shunned by anyone I bump into - except my sister. It hurt for a while but now she's dead to me.
• 

  dmouse

  You don't say if you have family or not Ken. But from the fact that you wish to avoid DF'ing or DA'ing I would surmise that you have.

  Pleading family commitments or health issues are probably the only honourable ways out of elderhood. You don't really need to tell the body of elders the details, say it's personal, but you will need your immediate family on your side. Even with those you need to tread carefully as spouses and children are encouraged to report aberrant behaviour (aka Orwell's 1984).

  It's not going to be quick or easy. I wish you luck.

  oh, and welcome to the board!
• 

  sunshineToo

  Oh they tried all sorts of things to get me to stay but I simply kept up the front. The CO asked why, I told him it was none of his damn business and I absolutely did not wish to discuss it and that I would unleash my lawyers on him if he persisted in bothering me. That shut his mouth so fast you'ld have thought I asked him for money.

  Geesh! SadElder! No one can mess you up, huh?
• 

  minimus

  Work. Extra work. More work. They'll think you're materialistic, but that's ok. Health. Depression. Not a good example if you rarely go out in service or meetings because you work too much, are sick and depressed. Must resign for the good of the congregation. They will say, we'll lessen the load, give you time. You say, no can do---not a good example. They will have to acquiese.
• 

  BluesBrother

  With me, it was family that made it very difficult to just face up to the body and tell them what to with all the work they unloaded on to me.

  I did allow time, to prepare the way. I started by talking to the PO ,confiding that " I am having a hard time" etc - all he could do was to sympathise and agree with me. Over a while I let more hints drop until a lot of people were ready to expect me to resign . Incidentally, no one offered to help . Six weeks before the CO visit I sent a brief letter saying that my conscience would not permit to stay if I could not do the job with enthusiasm etc etc .

  The C O did have a talk with me but when I "confessed " to being out of harmony with the Society by liking "Heavy Metal music" and owning some records of it - his face dropped and he left very quickly.

  I had offerred to stay "Resting" for six months in case I had a change of heart by the next visit, - but no, I was OFF good and proper.
• 

  IT Support

  Wow! Thanks for all the suggestions. I've got some considerin' to do!

  So, let's see. ;-) From all you say, I simply need to take a job three hours away and work a 15-hour day, start dropping dark hints to the PO I'm under an enormous load, do less and less and then turn in my Pay Attention book, write a short letter telling them I'm resigning and then say nothing else, ever.

  Although I could just mention in passing that my health is shattered from drinking too much Belhaven Export and I'm suffering from depression and panic attacks, my teenage kids are running amok, I *love* Heavy Metal music and I'm no longer a good example to the congregation as I can't do the job with enthusiasm.

  And when he visits, tell the CO to mind his own business or I'll set my rotweilers on him. Then move 500 miles away.

  Well, that sounds simple enough!

  Oh, and if I was in the US, I additionally could vote Democrat, claim mental incompetence and start acting totally nuts (I thought that applied to all - southern - Californians anyway... oops, sorry avishai :-) [Stray thought: pity more Californians weren't 'mentally incompetent' recently!]

  Seriously though, I really appreciate all your input. It has given me a lot to think about and has been a brilliant help. And thanks also for your warm welcome to the board.

  Best wishes,

  Ken
• 

  SadElder

  SunshineToo...

  The older I get the more crochety I get. But I'm really a nice ex-elder, I can put on a front when I have to though. And have fun doing it.