Ok, well my brother is really the only one in my family that continues to freely associate with me. He is two years younger than me (19) and has always looked up to me-for some reason. He has been dating a girl name Tess for the last couple months or so in the traditional dub fasion (barely any contact). Today he tells me that he wants to propose to her in a year. Ok, thats time enough to improve is life I guess.
He still lives at home, but atleast he is going to school, a technical school to be exact. He then tells me that he and Tess will live at home with my parents for the first 2 years of their marriage!!!! arrgh! That means he will have absolutely NO experience with idenpendance and responsiblity, even through the first 2 years of marriage! I advised him this is a bad idea and that he will want to maybe rent an apartment (it is cheap where they are) before he even gets married and definitely during the hard years of marriage...esp. since Witnesses have horrible dating policies and young people barely know eachother when they do get married.
He also mentioned that neither of them want kids...I said "dear god please not the armageddon reason" but he assured me it was because of the medical problems in our family...and that makes sense, but I will not go on about those. So he asks me about birth control since I am taking a human sexuality course, and also I have done my research quite extensively. Well he went on and on about how vesectomies were not good, bla bla, I explained that it was a "conscience matter" and he mentions that does not apply to the U.S....??? Ok I was confused about that one. I asked him if Tess has issues with her period.."oh we do not and will not talk about that"...whaaaa..? He does not even know about the woman issue that his own girlfriend has? Ok...well "Have you talked about contraception?" and he says "what is contraception?" Oy! I told him what it was and that he and Tess really should talk about these things BEFORE they get married!!! It is like NO ONE IS TALKING TO HIM about these things! I had to tell him about sex, and oral sex and that there were nothing wrong with these things, and that everyone has an idea of what is right for them, but do what HE thinks is right and its never weird and its natural bla bla bla...I am just flaberghasted because I thought my brother was at least not as ignorant as others in the religion about these matters and WHY ARE MY PARENTS GIVING HIM LITTLE OR BAD ADVICE?!?!?! arrgh!
Thoughts?
my brother is so frustrating! arrgh!
by jwbot 17 Replies latest jw experiences
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jwbot
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jwbot
Oh he also tells me that he would never adopt because its "not really your child"! EEk! And also that he does not want Tess to work because he will "earn enough" yeah whatever...he works at a gas station right now. I told him that any able-bodied person not working is a waste...ooops might have been too hard on him...hehe.
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DFWnonJW
any able-bodied person not working is a waste...ooops
Whew!!! Glad I got me a job.
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drwtsn32
WHY ARE MY PARENTS GIVING HIM LITTLE OR BAD ADVICE?!?!?!
Hmm...if it's not talked about in the Family Happiness book, then it isn't important.
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IronGland
Jwbot--sorry, but your brother may be needing this link rather soon...
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rocketman
Sounds like your brother is acting every bit his age, all wise and experienced at 19. He'd better do a lot of thinking in the 12 months between now and his supposed wedding.
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Swan
It sounds like one of those weddings where the bride should wear curlers in her hair... so she can look good for the divorce!
Sheesh! They need to get a clue. Hope they can work all of this out in the next year.
Tammy
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concerned mama
jwbot, he is young, foolish and very naive. How could he be anything else with the upbringing he's had? Thank goodness that he has you to nudge him along. It sounds like he isn't the type to read apostate material, but maybe you can find neutral educational sites for some of the other issues .
This site is considered to be one of the best for accurate, teen sex ed.
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jwbot
Thanks for the link concerned mama...I will pass that along. Apostate material...that is definitely a bad idea. I gave him the link to planned parenthood, they seemed to be unbiased in their information about contraception. I will definitely be sending him more information about sex and all that good stuff. Oy Vey! Oh to be young... (hehe I am young myself.)
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Stacy Smith
Your poor brother. He gets to have a sleep over at Mom's as long as he gets married. Poor kid.