Letter to my brother

by funkyderek 26 Replies latest social family

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  amac

  Derek, I'm sure you will already do this, but please keep us posted as to any response from your brother...
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  JT

  james thomas

  i agree with you 110% , this is an excellent letter stating on point on all issues, but the problem is if his brother has already cut off his father , due to the wt indoctrination this letter is something straight out of a sunday wt lesson on BEING LOYAL TO JAH

  brothers how do we respond when our dfed family wants us to hang around them, do we entertain those who question jah and his org

  take the biblical examle of Korah sons they had to choose between thier earthly father and thier heavnly father,

  bro what about you if you had to chose between your earthly family and your spiritual family would you BE MATURE ENOUGH to make the right decision ((( NOTICE THEY NEVER TELL YOU NOT TO, BUT THEY JUST LEAD YOU ALONG )

  to the logical conclusion that they want you to reach

  so for the avg jw,, this type of letter is straight from the "YOur faith will be tested" dogma

  in my personal exp for the last 7yrs on the net, RARELY DO SUCH LETTERS IMPACT FOLKS esp if they are not at a point where they are doubting or question, often times we get the exact opposite effect-

  i told a buddy of mine not to send his letter to his mom- he did and she shut down, in a few weeks his baby was born and he sent pictures to her, SHE OPENED THE LETER SAW THE PICTURES AND RETURNED THEM TO HIM WITH NO COMMENT

  it crushed my boy, but i knew that it was very risky since he knew she was dyed in the wool, and it took years before she would even Hold the baby-

  it was so sad, only if he had SPOONED FEED HER it may have been different, and even he admits COMING OUT WITH GUNS BLAZING wasn't the best choice

  so i would recommend that he FEEL HIS BRO OUT FIRST this way he can save some pain and heartarch

  just my 2
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  JamesThomas

  Hey brother JT, I hear you. Here is a link http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/61040/1.ashx to an excellent post from a few days ago by Mindchild, that is along these same lines of how to communicate fruitfully with a JW. Many of us here could benefit from some good professional guidance on dealing compassionately and hopefully successfully, with the wounded and fearful JW mindset. Perhaps there is information on site here or elsewhere that can help. j edited to add: in no way wish to take away from Derek's excellent letter, or highjack his thread.
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  funkyderek

  Again, thanks to everyone for their continued support. I'll keep you all updated.

  JamesThomas & JT, I am aware of the risks associated with writing such a letter to a JW, but in this case the shunning had already started. I could not continue to have a relationship with my brother without at least registering my disapproval at his behaviour. As my brother's reason for shunning my father seems to be that my father is disfellowshipped, it is likely that he would treat me in the same way if I were disfellowshipped. As I have little or no control over whether this will happen, I needed to make a stand. I have made my position clear to my brother and he must now choose whether to shun me or not. I treaded as softly as I could, and if it fails, then I will have to live with it but I saw no other way.
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  JamesThomas

  Derek, You did extremely well, far better than most would have done under the same circumstances. No need to defend your actions. It's just that your post/letter brought up the possibility that there may be another way different from how we normally react that may be more successful getting through the intense amount of programming and blocks within the dedicated Witness's head. You wrote a great letter Derek. Better than I would have done. JT and I are just spinning off into another closely related direction. j
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  rem

  Derek,

  Just wanted to say that I really enjoyed your letter - it was extremely well written. It reminded me of a letter (more like a long card) I wrote to my ex-brother-in-law who also happened to be my best friend before we both got married. One day a few years ago he left a short note on my door saying that he could no longer associate with me. I wrote to him both assuring him that I would always be there for him if he needed me and clearly stating how disappointed I was by his behavior. He never wrote back. ( http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/3415/1.ashx )

  Hopefully your letter will get your brother thinking and help him to resist the indoctrination of the Society. I guess it all comes down to how much of an independent thinker he is. Maybe the time is not right now, but perhaps someday some seeds of doubt buried in the back of his head will spark some individuality in him and allow him to rekindle the now non-existant relationships with his family members.

  Anyway, just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of ya. I hope things work out.

  rem
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  wannaexit

  WOW!

  I can't imagine your brother not being moved by this letter. It brought me to tears.

  Wannaexit