by Jesika 41 Replies latest watchtower child-abuse
Child abuse is evil...Sexual child abuse is resevered for the ninth circle of Hell.
(((((((Jesika))))))
My story ain't even close to that difficult, and I can't choke it out here yet...The stuff I've heard here, especially yours, must be impossible to work up....
Jes, I am also a survivor of abuse. Not by a parent, but by a sibling. But maybe I could also throw my Mom and Dad in because they knew. God it hurts to even write that after so much therapy and meds. It hurts because I still don't understand how family members can do/condone these atrocoties.
I would like to tell 14 yr old Jes that I would hug her and that we should go slay those demons who destroyed whole parts of us.
I think you have taken a great step in getting therapy at 27. I was ten yrs older when I finally went for help. It seems you have supportive friends on this forum. Make good use of that love and attention.
You asked about getting over the hate and pain, well that doesn't actually happen, but you will continue. I started college at 37 studied in China started grad school went back to China --- you will do more than survive if only because you took action yourself. I think you should work on whatever you are interested in, because that's what you'll be good at doing. You now have the freedom to NOT get sucked into another cult... this leaves tons of time for what you want.
Love from your sister in pain, Panda
That is what this forum is about, Panda. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you Jes for sharing that painful realization. Abused children do not realize that what they are experiencing is abuse. They have always been treated that way. For them it is normal. They have no frame of reference of any other way. It is so very important for the abuse survivors to share these painful memories so that the lurkers can see themselves in the story and know that something is very wrong and get help. Your are a hero Jes. and deeply loved and admired.
You are an amazing person. You did not know me, yet you called me long distance a year ago because you thought that you had hurt my feelings on Silentlambs. Of course my feelings were not hurt. But your thoughfulness impressed me beyond words.
Stay well and continue to gain strength of character. You can only accomplish great things.
Loris
Sorry you had to go through this, Jesika. By now you have heard that the only way out is through. Keep up the hard work.
I don't have the background you do, you have my deepest sympathies.
I do know that therapy hurts, but helps so much it is more than worth it. YOU are worth it.
Good luck and thanks for having the courage to share.
((((((Jess)))))))
It makes me angry that your father abused you and you did'nt deserve it!!!
You are a strong young lady. I admired your strength when I met you on the SilentLambs march.
Glad to hear that you are taking care of yourself with therapy. The best gift to give to yourself.
Take care!!
All the Best. Old Crow
Sexual abuse?
Of that I am not so sure. Physical abuse that was also terribly humiliating, of that I am sure. I'm so very sorry about what you have been through, Jesika. Please know that.
It seems to me that the bar continues to be raised as to what sexual abuse is and can be. This can be very dangerous. Is it merely based on the appearance, age, and development of a child? So, beating a naked six year old is not sexual abuse? How would one know unless the prepetrator aknowledged sexual intent?
And yes, I understand where you are coming from, Jesika. I just cannot share why that is on this forum. Of course it wasn't right and of course it wasn't your fault, but think I have to disagree with your therapist on this one.
edited to change 'lowered" to "raised"
I am just overwhelmed by all the kindness here. Thank you all so much!!!!!
It wasn't an easy thing to write.......cause sometimes ppl on boards like to pick things apart, so writting this leaves me open to criticism.
With that being said..............BG.........I understand what you are saying...........I disagree with you and here is why.
What other reason on this planet would a father be telling his fully matured daughter to drop her pants so he can beat her--------If he had no "sexual intent"?????
I am at the same time not condoning it happening to a younger....or not as developed child/young adult. I dont think any child at any age should have to drop their pants and expose themselves to an adult in order to recieve punishment or for any other reason!!!
The exception being of course if it was for medical reasons and with a doctor.
This is a sexual boundry that shouldn't be crossed.
If you don't see it as sexual abuse..........then you are free to have your opinion and I am not familiar with your past so I can't say you haven't been through similar situations.
I feel it was a huge violation in my personal space and the feelings I experienced (which I hadn't felt in a long time since I locked them away) I can not put into words and hope you don't or can't relate to these feelings.
Jes
Hi Jesika,
I do not wish to be accused of picking apart your post, however, I am going to address your question.
What other reason on this planet would a father be telling his fully matured daughter to drop her pants so he can beat her--------If he had no "sexual intent"?????
I will answer this way: What other reason on this planet would a father be telling his six year old daughter to drop her pants so he can beat her, if he had no 'sexual intent"?
That is why sexual abuse needs to be defined as clear as possible with acts and not just the age of the victim and how the victim felt.
I agree with you whole heartedly that NO CHILD should ever be subjected to such a depraved and humiliating physical abuse. Abuse with which I am all too familiar (and that's ALL I am going to say about that).
I feel it was a huge violation in my personal space and the feelings I experienced (which I hadn't felt in a long time since I locked them away) I can not put into words and hope you don't or can't relate to these feelings.
I can probably relate to most of them.
I hope you find healing.
I will answer this way: What other reason on this planet would a father be telling his six year old daughter to drop her pants so he can beat her, if he had no 'sexual intent"?
I completely agree with this comment. There is NO reason for a father to do this at any age. I believe if it is done.........there is sexual intent. I see no other reason.
I thank you for your point of view...........I didn't mean to direct the comment of picking apart to you only .......just been my experience in the past and I wanted to comment on what you said.
I am sorry you can relate to the feelings that come with this type of experience and I hope you heal as well.
I am not angry in any way........just felt like explaining myself futher.
Love,
Jes
