Moe,
I don't know if a philandering mate is immature necessarily. Are they selfish and irresponsible? I think so.
Telling on someone is very risky. Many times the messenger gets shot so to speak. Might be better to arrange for the cheater to get caught redhanded than to tell the innocent mate. And it would depend on the circumstances, too. Like you said, sometimes there are extenuating circumstances that cause someone to go outside the marriage for love, comfort, friendship and sometimes sex. Many times the offender has been driven away by the "innocent mate" and even told to go find another.
A wise man once said: Let he that thinks he is standing pray he doesn't fall.
Never say never. You don't know where your life is going to take you or what you will face or how you will feel about it. How many times have you had to eat your words?
Jim,
What about the West Indian women? They just put up with their husbands philandering and didn't do it themselves? I don't know about you, but I tire of hearing that men aren't wired to be monogamous. Some men would like us to believe all men are wired to have multiple partners. This would exuse their behavior, right? Sorry, but it's a cop out. It's a way of saying:" I want my cake and icecream, too and it's okay because afterall, I'm a man and men are wired that way."
I wonder how long that kind of idea would last if the tables were turned. What if we were constantly hearing that women are just not wired to be faitful and monogamous? Don't be too hard on your wife, she's just wired that way. She can't help it, poor little dear. She's just controlled by her vagina and ovaries and helpless under their spell. This kind of thinking could be dangerous, no? Other women might hear they are wired that way, excuse themselves from self control and then start hunting sexual variety en masse. Why is it men are mostly excused for this behavior? Boys will be boys afterall. Why is it not okay for women to be ruled by their pelvic nether regions?
Heather