Your opinion of... (page 4)

iiz2cool

then man up and freakin leave the relationship!! is it that hard???

Yes, after many years, it can be very hard, for a number of reasons.

Walter

Nosferatu

then man up and freakin leave the relationship!! is it that hard???

I agree with iiz2cool. I'm not talking about a bf/gf relationship, I'm talking about living common-law or marriage. There may be quite a bit of investment into the relationship; it may be kids or finances. Tearing apart from all this is not easy.

ESTEE

I was married to a cheating mate. He started to cheat on me when I was pregnant with our first child. I was Queen of Denial. I did not let myself see his cheating ways until years later. Had everything to do with my low errrr non-existent self-esteem.

Years later, when I got into therapy, I learned that the cheating has nothing to do with who the partner is. It is something inside of them that causes them to cheat. It is about them and their issues.

The healthiest thing for me to do was divorce him and go on with rebuilding my own life.

ESTEE

tinkerbell82

Tearing apart from all this is not easy.

then commit to being with that person one hundred per cent. doing so is difficult; leaving the relationship is difficult; cheating is relatively easy and a cowardly way out in my opinion. maybe it's not the easiest path to tread, but for god's sake if you have even a scrap of affection for the person you're going to be cheating on, just do the right thing.

Nosferatu

then commit to being with that person one hundred per cent.

One thing I've realized is that love is a two way street. Giving love to a person who doesn't appreciate is not only a waste of energy, but is self-decieving. The person who is giving all the love is constantly re-assuring themselves that the other still loves them. Lying to yourself is the worst form of deception you can have.

MrMoe

unless you are staying together for the kids... get out. If you aren't getting sex, you barely speak to eachother, you sleep in seperate beds, that can be different... understandable... what I am poking at is...

Like I said, there are always exceptions, but in a case where you fool around for "fun" with numerous people, strangers even, then go back to the mate all kissey, that is same as lying... it's just WRONG.

Nosferatu

Tink, you make it sound so easy. Remember this thread?

http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/7/59563/1.ashx

Stacy Smith

I was in a sexually unsatisfying relationship

I'm sure it was all roses for her

Lying to yourself is the worst form of deception you can have

Wrong again. Lying to someone that you've made a commitment with is the worst form of deception. All you've done is justify your cheating ways. If you commit you commit or else your word is worthless. Get out of it first, simple as that. If you don't see that then I have great sympathy for whoever you end up with because you are a cheater.

Sentinel

In my life's experience so far, it appears that one should never place themselves into a position where they adamantely say they would not do "this or that". No one really knows what they would do in a situation. People justify their actions in all sorts of ways. This goes for people that remain in a marriage in name only, and proceed to trash the very foundation of commitment and honesty by being unfaithful.

I've heard it said many times, that a mate will feel so terribly wronged if they find out their partner has cheated, or continues to cheat, that even if they manage to forgive, they never forget. And usually the relationship is damaged and ends up dying a slow death. What happens so often is if the person continues to stay in that type of situation, the mate who has transgressed may do it again, but because of feeling insecure and wanting so much for success in the choice they made, instead of ending the marriage, they hang on for dear life, and the faithful mate finally ends up doing exactly what their partner did. They cheat. There is no other name for it.

So cheating is just what it is. By the time the "wounded mate" gets around to finding a shoulder to lean on the marriage vow has already been broken anyway. Human beings need love, especially if they are hurting or wounded in heart. We don't set out to be cheaters or untrustworthy mates, but sometimes, circumstances in our life lead us that way. I have much empathy for both parties. No one really knows what they would do unless they are personally faced with such decisions.

MrMoe

if you are in love, it IS that easy. I cannot comprehend cheating, same as I would not cheat on my child, if you could imagine that, love should be unconditional, shouldn't it?

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