Right on! Your doing the right thing, you don't have to be a Witness to have a brother hood heck you have one right here. Be happy that you are backing out of a cult or as some call it the Borg" the name fits. You have heard of the saying "get a life" well that is what you have done is got your life back and pushed away the poison punch. Live long and prosper.
I had to DF my brother a few days ago!
by cyberguy 29 Replies latest jw experiences
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talesin
{{{{cyberguy}}}}
HANGING YOURSELF??????
HELLO! NEVER!
NO, NO, NO.
You are worth so much more than that. NO. NO. NO. My psyche just won't accept that.
You have too much love in yr heart - that is not an option.
Never let them win.
tal
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czarofmischief
Suicide should be the LAST thing you ever do!
Just a little levity. Hey, you have to speak the truth, brother, especially to your flesh and blood - I had a conversation with my own mom like this earlier in the month. I think they aren't talking to me anymore.
Oh well. Nobody said that saying what you really think would be easy, nor does the First Amendment protect us from the social consequences of speaking out.
Good luck! Hugs (in a manly, non-homophobically threatening way, with backslapping and handshake barrier)
CZAR
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talesin
Good luck! Hugs (in a manly, non-homophobically threatening way, with backslapping and handshake barrier)
CZAR
Czar, will you be my little bro??
tal
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mizpah
Cyberguy:
I was sorry to read about your separation from your brother. It is a very painful experience that many of us have gone through. However, let me assure you that you can survive the pain and hurt.
My wife and I decided that it is best not to initiate the break by discussing religous matters with our loved ones who remain in the organization. We only speak of our love and concern for them. And we reassure them that they are always welcome in our house. On occasion we have send notes to let them know we think of them and miss them.
And even if we don't get a response, we feel we have done our part to try to keep the door open. We also hope that the reminder will some day "prick" their consciences. If they ever do decide to leave the organization, they know they have family waiting for them.
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ESTEE
(((((cyberguy)))))
That's gotta hurt ... I know.
I have two kids who won't talk to me... And two brothers ...
Shunning is alive and well in our land ...
ESTEE
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outnfree
((((cyberguy)))))
Sometimes you just have to say what you've been wanting to say. I guess you did. Don't beat yourself up over it and don't take it back. But you may want to give it a bit of time and extend the hand of brotherly love once more (before December) as suggested above: saying you regret slamming down the phone and asking your brother if the two of you can just agree to disagree. Religious topics can be totally ignored when you get together.
I hope your brother wasn't speaking for your entire family when he, in effect, DF'd YOU? Perhaps contact the others you were planning to see to gauge their feelings?
Sadly,
out
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CruithneLaLuna
Cyberguy,
I'm not quite sure whether my reply belongs on a public forum or would be better directed to you privately, but I will undertake to write it publicly, and if I click Submit at the end, it will go to the forum; otherwise, it will probably show up in your personal inbox.
First, you must know that there is achance that your brother will truly Awake! one day, and that your example of integrity and conveying real truths to him could be a key factor in that.
I lost most of my natural relatives by becoming a JW and staying faithful to the org for over 30 years. Then I lost all of my JW so-called friends and family when I walked away from the org. Actually, it took a couple of years to lose my kids, who are now 18 and 14, and live with their mother and stpefather, who are both JWs. However, I haven't spoken with them in more than a year. I occasionally write to them, but do not receive anything in return, and for all I know, my letters go directly into the garbage can.
Maybe there is something wrong with me, but I have to tell you that I am NOT bemoaning my treatment at the hands of JWs or anyone else, and I am not crying about the consequences of my own actions. I did what I had to do in order to mantain my personal and spiritual integrity, and I did it without thinking twice about the consequences. Whatever is lost in this world can be regained or replaced - in a sense. In another sense, of course, some things can never be replaced. However, I am content to follow the path of life as it reveals itself to me, and I can affirm that opportunities have opened up to me that have added joy and meaning to my life, that I would NEVER have had access to if I had remained a JW. (I have been an ex-JW for less than four years.)
When I left the org, I was content for a while to live in a state of uncertainty and ambiguity. Actually, I doubt I will ever again feel the sense of certainty and monoguity (is there such a word?) that I felt as a Witness, but the need for such things is largely artificial and a learned trait - and so can be easily unleanred, if one puts one's mind and heart into the project.
I have been through periods of depression, and to an extent that is a holdover from life as a JW and the process by which one becomes an ex (if one was ever sincere and devout as a JW). It can be worked through.
I strongly recommend taking decisive action to rid yourself of the vestiges of faith in JWism, and go on an active spritual quest to find what works for you - be it orthodox Christianity, unorthodox Christianity, any of the other great world religions, "alternative religion," being "spiritual but not religious," agnostic, or atheist. Find what resonates with the predispositions of your heart and mind, supports what you sense is truly important, and helps you become more fully the person you want to be and to contribute to society in a way that you can believe is meaningful and worthwhile. It's out there.
Cruithne
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Black Sheep
Thanks for posting that cyberguy. I am in a similar situation with my father at the moment and the responses to it apply to me also.
I know I can get over it, but my old man is a hellfire and brimstone preacher from wayback and forgiveness does not run in his veins regardless of what he, (or the bible), says. It might take him a while, but I am sure he will come right eventually. Hopefully he will think about the things I have said.
Seeds of doubt.
Plant, plant, water, water.
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cyberguy
Thanks for everyone?s support here! I?ll probably try and reestablish contact again with my brother, even if he doesn?t want me around. Perhaps some day, he?ll realize what he is doing and treat my like family again.