by Aztec 65 Replies latest jw friends
Hey there Aztec :)
I didn't know you had gone, as I don't frequent this place as much as I once did. I dropped in and saw your name and it made me smile to recall the chat we had on MSN one afternoon.
Hope you find your way through the hurt and rage soon sweety.
(((Aztec)))
Love ya. <---but is not responding to this thread
Hey my little buddy.
You've brought up the anger thing a time or two on this thread............your not angry or somethin are ya?
Well......I can relate to the wanting to kick the shit out of anyone who says or acts the wrong way around me. I have never hit anyone before in my life but once when I was in my early 20's.
These moods.....thank god......only happen once in a while and I have never been able to put my finger on exactly what the problem is. I think the problem is as you say. We carry this ex-dub shit around with us on our back much more than we think we do. My entire family except 2 sisters are dubs. I have a big family of dubs and I'm on the outside. I think I get over all this crap.......but I don't think it will ever really leave..........and that's why the anger thing pops up it's ugly head once in a while.
Glad your back sweetie...........my pm is always open.
Gumby
Hey!
Sens, no worries! I won't go out on a killing spree or anything. Promise!
Shamus, it's not hollow. It's as much as it can be in an online world. One of these days I may get to meet you eh?
Rocket, stop silly! I'm going to call you this weekend okay?
Shera, we get to hang out next weekend right?
(((Outbackaussie))) I remember that very well! I was still very confused by computers, not much has changed...LOL! Maybe I'm angry at computers. No that's not it...
Rhonda, I'll pretend you were never here okay?
Gumby, I wish I knew what I was angry about. I have no clue. I get to talk to a counselor next week as part of my "program". I think it's only partly growing up a dub that makes me bitter but, I've decided not to let my anger, or as I call it my "darker side" hide in the closet anymore. How can I deal with it if I don't even acknowledge it exists? Not that I plan on lashing out, anymore, at people who post here but, I dunno, maybe I should take up kick boxing.
Thanks for listening you guys!
~Aztec
((Azzy))
Hey, gal.
Lisa
How can I deal with it if I don't even acknowledge it exists? Not that I plan on lashing out, anymore, at people who post here
You CAN acknowledge that it exists..........and you can learn how to handle it........but sometimes you slip.
I have learned when I get in these moods to keep my mouth shut and wait..........until it passes. These moods disappear for me by the next day or two. When I'm in that mood......I feel that ALL my feelings are justified........and when I'm in a good my........I wonder why I acted like a damn pycho in my head, and I'm glad I kept my mouth shut.
I'm not saying for you to shut up azzy.....I'm saying I personally have learned to not vent as I would like to, and wait until these moods pass.
BTW.......what the hell are you doing up so early......it's only 5:55 where I'm at?
Hugs......Gumby
<----just wanted to say that she thinks Gumby is one heck of a nice guy!
I like you too.
Gumby
Holy crap! I've made 18 posts in the last day! I promised myself I was gonna cut back!
Gumby,
I have learned when I get in these moods to keep my mouth shut and wait..........until it passes. These moods disappear for me by the next day or two. When I'm in that mood......I feel that ALL my feelings are justified........and when I'm in a good my........I wonder why I acted like a damn pycho in my head, and I'm glad I kept my mouth shut.
I wish I had heard those words a few weeks ago when I was lashing out at people. Thank you Gumby for being such a kind voice of reason!
I do have alot of anger to deal with, very little of it is because of the WTS. I'm angry about lots of things, injustice in Liberia, domestic abuse, Britney Spears selling so many albums when she clearly has so little talent, the fact that my rapist got away with it and that I let him cause I was too young and stupid to realize what had just happened, homophobia, racism, sexism, unjustified war, political injustice, the death penalty being so unfairly applied, and the little boys who are soldiers at such a young age in Liberia and Sierra Leone! Did I mention the crap in Liberia? That is the main reason I was in an angry mood! That just pisses me off! They should have a childhood and they don't... Those are the kids my heart bleeds for!
So much of the world sucks and I am so very lucky. Even if I didn't get to celebrate Christmas or my birthday, I'm so very lucky! I didn't have an AK 47 handed to me when I was 8 years old and told that I was going to be a soldier. Things like that just sicken me! I have a tv and a computer and very good friends, what do these orphans in Liberia have? It's just so sad!
Maybe I should become a missionary eh?
~Az
Did I mention the crap in Liberia? That is the main reason I was in an angry mood! That just pisses me off! They should have a childhood and they don't... Those are the kids my heart bleeds for!
Are you of sure the fact that your childhood was robbed........isn't behind most of your anger? Maybe the dub thing has a bit more to do with this than you realise........just a guess
Gumby
