How Low Have Ex-JW?s Fallen?

Mindchild

Just what is with ex-dubs these days? Wait, please amend that. Just what is with some ex-dubs these days? I was reflecting today just how much things have changed in the ex-JW community and I?m experiencing one hell of a bellyache.

For those who don?t know me, I?ve been fairly active in the online ex-JW community now since early 1998. I?ve lived in several virtual ex-dub communities under a few different handles, typically either as Imaginalbud or Mindchild, and I guess you can say I?ve been around the block more than a few times, seeing just about everything you can imagine being discussed in ex-dub online forums from wild sex fantasies to serious Biblical discussions back again to the fluff that was so damn boring, I dare not mention it here. Yet, with all this experience, amid hopes that something beautiful was going to emerge out of this evolutionary process, I see a disturbing new trend that sickens me.

Now I'll be candid. Craziness runs in the ex-JW community. If you haunt the online ex-dub forums, sooner or later you will see the results of the Borg mentally screwing over people, in producing people who have little connection with consensual reality, along with those who are so overwhelmed by dark seething anger, that they are no longer fully human but have turned into hate machines. This much is to be expected actually, as a natural consequence of the deleterious mind f**k people got from the Watchtower and their consequential expulsion from it. What is more surprising to me though is the evolutionary trend I see developing here and elsewhere of apostates becoming some sort of weird retrovirus that takes the worst socio/political features of Jehovah?s Witnesses and repackages them into mental slop they expect us all to stomach.

Sprout off concerns that censorship is becoming endemic on this board and you can find yourself on the outside, looking in unless you accept the ?wholesome, benign community spirit.? Fish up an unpopular moral choice in your personal life, you as an individual have the right to make, and you see yourself being ravaged by moral ankle bitters, who judge you, condemn you, and then disfellowship you.

Wouldn?t you expect a slave, who was suddenly freed, to celebrate freedom and condemn slavery? My expectation is that once you are free of the Witness mind virus, you would celebrate diversity, personal freedom, personal expression, (up to the point it wasn?t harmful) and be nonjudgmental towards others and leave the hate for others behind. If you didn?t agree with the choices someone makes in their life as valid for you, you certainly wouldn?t disown them. Yet, I see this happening too many times on this board and others to believe this is a random occurrence. In short, a lot of you are still Witnesses, still judgmental pricks, more than willing to hurt others, even your family members because you are so full of moral righteous indignation.

Yes, if you are reading this and don?t have doubts about whom I talking about, then this post was for you.

Mindchild

Poztate

Live and let live.This should be easy enough to do.I am sure however that the baggage many of us carry over from our Dub years at times gets in the way of puting this into practice.All of us can try to work harder at this as in the end it will make this board a better place to be.

onacruse

Mindchild, very thought-provoking post.

I'm particularly interested in how you'd define:

(up to the point it wasn?t harmful)

Craig

SanFranciscoJim

I've been involved with exJWs for more than twenty years, and on line since 1997. What I have observed are exJWs experiencing various phases of the grieving process. Some are farther along than others. The three primary reactions to grieving are denial, anger, and acceptance. I have found that most people who are in a particular category generally tend to feel more comfortable with other people in the same category. It does not matter how long a person has been out (or if they've left at all) - different people recover at different rates.

I don't think you will ever see any kind of "emergence". The reason for that is because new ones are always entering the exJW community, talking about and trying to deal with their own personal set of issues, and reacting to others according to their own current belief system.

Unlike the active JW community, we are not "Borg". We are no longer like-minded, speaking in a single voice. We have given ourselves the gift of freedom of thought. What's more, we are in the process of learning that if our current belief system doesn't work, we can say so and continue our search elsewhere without fear of formal shunning or expulsion. In other words, we can change our minds.

There are those whom I personally do not care for. But then, I am sure that there are an equal number (or probably even greater number) of exJWs who want nothing to do with me, either. I try to live by the philosophy "What other people think of me is none of my business", but admittedly that is not always easy, especially when insults are hurled.

Just because the exJW community seems somewhat in disarray does not mean I will "throw in the towel" and acquiesce to the JW mindset that once we are cast out of the Organization, we are in a place of darkness where there is "a weeping and gnashing of teeth".

Those who are weeping and gnashing, if they will be patient with themselves and allow themselves the opportunity to grow, will one day be smiling, laughing, and serene, content that their decision to leave the Borg mindset was the correct one.

cat1759

Hi Mindchild, Long time. What a precious sight to see. I think your post has a lot of meaning. Only when we stop judging others do we truly see ourselves. Take care. Cathy

Phantom Stranger

All throughout the world, people choose every day to be assholes. People choose every day to be inconsiderate, to hurt others, to try to control others.

And, every day throughout the world, people choose to be kind, to consider other's experience, to heal others, and to empower others and hold them capable.

This is equally true for ex-Witnesses and never-Witnesses. Beyond a certain point - and it's a helluva lot sooner than most of us want to admit - we have to stop blaming the WTS and say, OK, time for me to be responsible for what I choose to do, and for you to be responsible for what you choose to do.

If an XJW is a hateful asshole, or if they're an accepting nurturer, it's because they chose to be that way - no one made them be that way, including the WTS. Maybe they started out with some disadvantages - BFD, the whole planet has disadvantages! You want fair, it comes once a year, and it just left! How many ways can we make the WTS responsible for acts that they have nothing to do with?

Maybe the majority of sane XJW's are all out having happy, fulfilling lives and not living on the Internet - because they have no time for it.

SLOAN

People will forever judge and condemn those who are different. It's sad but I'm afraid, all too true. It sickens me to be ousted from being a Dub and then to be Disfellowshipped all over again by some that basically remain witnesses. You eventually find your own "family" of individuals to make up for all of those lost and those you continue to lose. A VERY "Special" family, one that you build as you continue your journey in life. I'm glad that you are part of mine Mind!!

Badger

Mindchild:

Great and heartfelt post.

I'm here for help in getting out, if I do...a lot of people are here to share pain. Problem is, few want to help them carry it. That's why the boards tend to be a bit negative.

But they all share the same purpose... to help and provide friendship. It does the job for me.

cat1759

Phantomstranger, You make a good point. Some just have busy lives and don't live on the internet. My ex feels that once out move on, get over it, forget you were part of it. That is also hard to do. He still has leftover feelings and still feels inside the end is coming so why bother. Don't bother with anything witness related or ex witness related as you are still holding on to what you once had. Cathy

ScoobySnax

Mindchild......What exactly do you expect to see on an exJW forum that you have signed up to yourself? I've learnt to keep my gob shut on those posts I think suck. I should know as to me there are many that could "offend" me as a pro JW. But to hear a lifer such as yourself start complaining, I wonder what the problem is.

I put myself here, I post, I look, sometimes I fume about an odd poster or 2, I go, maybe I'll come back tommorow, but I remember that I clicked these buttons in the first instance.

Whats up Mind......what do you want to hear here?

How Low Have Ex-JW?s Fallen?

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