How Low Have Ex-JW?s Fallen? (page 3)

Hi Skip;

Hey, with you, me, SFJim and JamesT on this thread it's like the old days at Tishie's!!!!

As I think you know, I know exactly what you mean.

This is a board for x cultists. But the corollary of this is that some of them have a bigger X to bear.

That makes them hard to bear! And I know that those 'we' find hard to bear are wound up something horrid by 'us' at times, which is just as natural.

I really see this as a natural concequence; it goes with the territory.

Like Jim points out, we are NOT singing from the same hymn sheet anymore; dischord is inevitable (I seem to be on a metaphor frenzy). What some people tragically miss out on is this part of what he said;

We have given ourselves the gift of freedom of thought. What's more, we are in the process of learning that if our current belief system doesn't work, we can say so and continue our search elsewhere without fear of formal shunning or expulsion. In other words, we can change our minds.

Some people seem to have dived straight from one set of restrictive thinking to another and to have kept a whole RAFT of assumptions redolent of cultic thinking, and rather than this being a stage on their journey of recovery it becomes a destination.

But if 'we' are more fortunate than that, it's down to 'us' to act like the adults as they are still more-or-less subject to cultic conditioning.

Example; I can make my parents go from the coolest people you'd want to meet to slavering cultists in ONE sentence, less even. But I don't, cause they are the cultists and I am the adult.

It get's wearing; hell I stopped posting on xJW boards for almost a couple of years, I stopped posting much for almost half of last year. I understand respect and validate that.

But I would rather be part of a thriving but troubled community and try (as each member does) to push it what I think is the right way by my words and actions than watch it disappear into the sunset and disown it.

I do think that the next stage in the development of xJW boards will be the death of the board owner - and I'm not talking about Simon. I might disagree with some of his policies but I don't expect to agree with him all the time, he works hard for little thanks and as it's HIS board so he can do what the hell he likes, QED.

What I mean is boards run by groups of people rather than owned by an individuals, but it's a big complex idea I've no intention of even begining to describe, and not one I have any intention of leading.

I just wanted to finish up my comments on this thread.

James Thomas and Jgnat I appreciate the kind words but I've just lost my interest to get involved. JW issues and ex-JW issues have decreasing relevance in my life. I think actually that this is a good sign. I've finished my unfinished emotional business with my own past life and it is time to just move on. I might occassionally post here now and then on a topic of interest.

Craig said: It's a challenging balance, to say the very least. And my only answer is that motive is the key element. In that respect, imo the question is not "how low have exJWs fallen?" but "how high can exJWs go?" As long as our motive is to honor our mutual and individual freedoms, within the parameters of a reasonable ethic, then what more can we do?

That is a pretty noble attitude to have but the thing that comes to my mind is this quote I remember from a poster I had on my wall in college which read: "It's hard to remember that your original objective was to drain the swamp, when you are up to your ass in alligators." I guess what I'm saying to you here is that people give lip service to the principles you mention but for a wide variety of reasons, ranging from personality conflicts to anger management issues, there is going to be evidence of visible and invisible conflicts, back stabbing, judgementalism, and so forth as exists in the ex-dub community. In reality, you are working with some people who can be classified as "damaged goods" in varying stages of recovery or decline. This never was, nor really pretended to be a place to support newbies. Just what it was and continues to evolve into is open for debate but I really don't see any theme of "how high can ex-JW's go" here.

Pettygrudger, you have some interesting comments there. I certainly agree that destructive group behavior isn't limited to JW's or ex-JW's. Anyone who has read Howard Bloom's book, "The Lucifer Principle" can see the social dynamics evolving in the ex-dub community of winner's and losers. But what you suggest as far as avoiding the "players" and building your own "team" of "of trusted & true companions" is exactly what is happening in here and part of the larger problem. Before long, it will evolve to "our tribe" vs. "their tribe" which is exactly what we see happening between this board and other boards that are "forbidden" to name in posts. IMHO, there was really NO need for this to have developed the way it did, but that damage is already done isn't it?

Now please realize that I'm not faulting you for wanting to avoid people who are as you say "players" or as others might call "assholes." I think you know already that nearly half our behavior is determined by genetics and we have a natural inclination to avoid people we consider unpleasant or even dangerous. And yes, what you see in here is typical in many ways to what you see in "real life." but my big arguement is this: Beware of Stupid People in Large Groups.

What I saw when I first joined the ex-dub online communities was a message of hope and tolerance. We showed that you can survive the Watchtower and you can make a personal choice to pursue what YOU think is "truth." You didn't have to be part of a group, but there were friendships made and small social circles established. So far, so good. With the growing "success" of JWD though, the simple message of freedom and diversity begines to be replaced with "cliques" as you say who subscribe to the evolving form of social groups I made reference to earlier. Will this place become the "church" of JWD? Time will tell.

Hi Abaddon, a pleasure to read your comments here as always. I commend your positive attitude and "kick butt" approach I see you do at times. I thought this sentence you wrote was especially interesting:

I can't bitch about that dude and more power to you. I think though in my case, the motives I had in getting involved at all with the ex-dub community have run their course. I'm not playing "lifeguard" anymore and swimming out to someone to save them with the life preserver of " epistemology ." I'm tired of fighting with people who don't realize their drowning and dodging the sharks. Damn, I guess I mellowed out some in the years huh? I also don't drive my car 180 KPH anymore either. lol Next thing you hear, I will be an old hermit with a bunch of dogs living on a mountain somewhere.

Also, interesting prediction about the future of ex-dub boards. You can well be right. There is a lot of maintence and moderation that goes into keeping one of these places habitable. I'm thinking that the next big thing will be Graphic Interface Forums, much like the Sim's Online, where people can not only interact via printed text messages but with avitar animation and characterization as well. I think boards of that nature will take off once Sim's Online proves itself capable of making a profit (they charge $10 USD a month for membership last I checked).

Ok, I said my "piece." I'm outta here for now.

Skipper

How Low Have Ex-JW?s Fallen?

obiwan

Abaddon

Mindchild

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