Thanks for your messages! I really appreciate all the advices you are giving to me as I feel now the great responsibility of having to take my own decisitions for the first time without the 'guide and advice' of the Org.
First thing to do is to start a career. As @scratchme1010 said, I feel a bit lost in this area. Most of my colleagues at the office I'm working with have more experience and I'm quite overwhelmed by this. But, I have to recognise they're not the bad people the Org says and they're giving advice on what to do regarding my own career.
My goal is to fade. Don't know how exactly I will do having family, friends and all my life inside the WT. I'm serving in a foreign-language congregation and speaking with the elders I told them I would need to move during this year to another congregation in the area. I'm planning to move to a big local congregation in another area where I could go unnoticed. Having no relatives or personal friends there would make my fade easier or at least give me the chance to lose meetings as now it's almost impossible for me being in a congregation with less than 30 publishers. But I said, I haven't taken a final decisition yet except to focus on my own life.
My JW ex-girlfriend got in contact with me last week. We broke because I started having doubts about the Org and she was a hardliner zealous pioneer. She wanted to move where the need is greater and I understood I couldn't live a lie so the relationship had no future. She messaged me because she's deppresed and tired and thinking about stepping down as pioneer. Nevetheless, she still believes 100% in the Org. I still love her but I don't want to live a lie for the rest of my life.
I want to start a new life from scratch. The meetings are tedious and now I'm going because I feel the pressure to go. I think stepping down as pioneer has been a great step, don't know exactly what I'll do after this although meetings like the WT study of this weekend are hard to stomach.
