by goingthruthemotions 30 Replies latest jw experiences
This could, conceivably, lead to her telling you to vacate the house. You need to prepare an escape plan, more like a survival plan. Prepare yourself mentally and financially. A simple insurance policy. One day she tells you it's over and your out. You end up sleeping in your Toyota, asking yourself, " what do I do now"?
Think I am kidding? You may have to learn the hard way.
Give her space and time. Put everything JW on the back burner and look after the woman you fell in love with.
Remind her of THAT.
That's correct. Remember, your wife is programmed to respond in certain ways to certain ideas. She needs time for her subconscious mind to resolve a whole host of issues. If you confront her or try to push your own enlightenment, her mind will go into resist mode. Do your very best to avoid anything that might cause the fear reaction to kick in.
GTTM - firstly, don't pry any further into her "personal" notes or anything else for that matter. How would you feel if she started looking into your private stuff?
Secondly, cease immediately telling her anything which points the finger at her precious JW org - she's got the point that you believe they're corrupt. Saying anything else will only dig the hole deeper for your marriage.
Thirdly, If "invited" by the elders to step into the back room for a chat, go ahead - but only to ascertain what's on their minds. Never refuse to hear what they want to say - just don't say anything to answer their questions.
If they want to discuss your wife's list, simply say "Your concern for me and my wife is understandable, but I'm sure you'll respect the fact that anything which my wife and I discuss privately is not up for public discussion - as I'm sure you would both tell me the same if I asked you to reveal your personal conversations with your wives. I appreciate your motives. If I ever require your assistance I'll call you. Thanks."
Their "chat" is crucially to get you to put the rope around your neck.
They have only one witness. They can't do anything or prove anything - so don't give them anything!
Ecclesiastes 3:7 - "A time to be silent and a time to speak."
This is now your time to keep silent - I wish you well.
That's damn good advice from The Searcher.
You've snooped on you wife's private information. Snooping is the very kind of conduct you'd expect a loyal JW to do trying to find evidence against their spouse.
Even so, looks like she could be building a case against you. Unless: 1. She wants to do her own investigation but not give you the satisfaction of knowing or 2. She thinks you might snoop so wants to give you a surprise.
It might be game over for you. Jws have been conditioned to be loyal to the watchtower corporation , not to their spouses, family or friends. It is like a compulsion to them.
If confronted in a jc just deny ever saying it. If she calls up the elders on it your marriage is probably over anyway.
From the OP: JW's not Christians
I hear this all the time and still can't understand the reasoning behind it.
Why do so many exJWs make this claim?
Actually ignore my last post, I don't want to derail goingthruthemotions topic.
I'll start a new one.
Maybe something she could show the Kangaroo court. Or she is making a list so she could do research, but has long as we been together, she has never showed
An aptitiude to make a list and do research. So my question is, why do you all thinks the list is for?
You probably already know the Answer to that Question..
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This could, conceivably, lead to her telling you to vacate the house. You need to prepare an escape plan, more like a survival plan. Prepare yourself mentally and financially. A simple insurance policy. One day she tells you it's over and your out. You end up sleeping in your Toyota, asking yourself, " what do I do now"?
Think I am kidding? You may have to learn the hard way.
This is happening with an increasing frequency.
