The Elders are Coming Help! (page 2)

berrygerry

If a new congo, did you move?

If so, how did they get your new address?

(Once you've dealt with the present situation, never give out your address, phone or work again.)

OUTLAW

How can I make them just go away?

........ Image result for ignore them

Why do you feel you have to give in to them? Demanding to come over is rude, you don't even owe them your valuable time or even an explanation. Don't hide or lie, just say you thought it over and it's not convenient, you will learn them know when it is convenient (which will be a week from never).

Beth Sarim

When we bought our house about a decade ago, we moved to a different part of town & no one in the new congregation even knew our address. We were still fading back then.

Then, not even 4 or 6 months after moving in there was a congregation boundary change. The elders in the new congregation were constantly coming by with drop in visits,knocking on our doors and ringing our doorbells. It's amazing how they know your address, even when your phone number or address isn't even in the phone book listing.

Amazing isn't it!!

DesirousOfChange

Lauren:

If you are not involved in anything "bad" that you need to hide from them....(for example, hopefully no need to sneak your lover into the back room and tell them to keep quiet and no Christmas tree to cover), then I don't see a risk for you to keep your appointment. You probably would have been better to avoid making the commitment, but oh well.

JUST DO NOT SAY ANYTHING STUPID. If they press you to see if you have doubts, you must say "Of course not! Why would you even ask? I'm offended!" If they ask why you haven't been attending, it's obviously because you just moved and you're so damn busy with things, and you really haven't gotten comfortable with the new KHall and etc etc. DON'T SAY ANYTHING CONTROVERSIAL. Thank them. Hug them (if their grandpa like). And make plans with your Mom or someone for an hour after their scheduled arrival. Tell them about the "date" when they arrive so they know they have a time limit.

DON'T DO ANYTHING TO THROW UP RED FLAGS.

Good luck,

Doc

Beth Sarim

Yes, they are very rude people!!

Dunedain

@ - LaurenM - Not to make light of the situation, because it does seem the possibility of the elders coming is disturbing you, but they are nothing. Remember, they are just men. They have no power over you. The only "power" these men have, is the "power" we give them by allowing them to control us.

It doesnt seem you have done anything "wrong", so what do you have to worry about. If you dont want to meet with them, then DON'T. You do NOT have to do anything you don't want to. Besides just completely ignoring them, you could say you are not feeling well, or very busy at work, WHATEVER works for you.

I know it is easier said than done, but try to relax, and don't let these, overstepping, unloving, judgemental, witch hunters, dictate ANYTHING in YOUR life. Screw em, and maybe instead, have a good time, and give yourself a few laughs, by "messing" with THEM. Cancel on them, last minute, prank phone call them on the day they are to come, do whatever and laugh while you do, especially as you remember that they are just men, nothing else.

Lied2NoMore

Tell them a simple "no", if they continue to press you, do what I did and call your local police and tell them you have been asked repeatedly to meet with them, you have repeatedly declined, then say your feeling harassed. Then ask them if they could advise these elders to discontinue contacting you because you feel your wishes aren't being complied with.

I did about the same thing and I don't get bugged one bit for more than 3 years now!

dubstepped

I'm with LisaRose, why do you feel obliged to let them come over and give in to them. You asked "How can I make them go away?". Well, how do you avoid doing anything else you don't want to do? A simple no will do. No is a complete sentence. They say they want to come over, and you say no. They say why, and you don't have to explain yourself. No, I don't want you to. I so hate the JW entitlement to cross boundaries and push themselves into your life. I like the good old, "don't call me, I'll call you". Or just DA like I did and don't have to ever worry about them intruding again.

AudeSapere

Nothing like waiting til the last minute to ask for help...!

Generally, the best thing to if you are trying to fade, is keep them at bay. There are kind ways to tell them, "Thanks, but no thanks. Not at this time. Thank you for your interest. I have your number and will phone you if I feel I need assistance [from you]."

But since you have already committed, my best suggestion is to leave them a phone message stating that something has come up and you are unavailable to meet. Then go treat yourself to dinner and a movie in a town where they don't live. Come home after 10pm pour yourself a little glass of wine or cup of tea and go to bed.

It's a much better use of your time.

Good luck. I wish you the best.

-Aude.

The Elders are Coming Help!

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