Welcome Nina!
I have tried to go back to the organization several times. The problem is that when you read as much as I do, you invariably come across things that make you THINK, and then you see the the organization for what it really is.
I highly suggest you read Crisis of Conscience by Raymond Franz, a former member of the Governing Body (It's available free in pdf). You'll see that, no matter how bad things are as you see them now, they're always worse when you look more closely.
Don't bother returning to the organization, they don't deserve someone as honest as you.
Unfortunately he has been a little possessive and has caused me to lose some of the friends I did make when I left.
Is he also Hispanic? They're naturally inclined towards that.
But something is still missing. I don't even feel like I can have a personal connection with god because if Jehovah wants "his people" to behave the way they do, then I don't want to know or love Jehovah. In fact, I think he's a bit of an asshole.
That "missing" thing is the realization that there's no such thing as such a god.
Keep in touch.