New Book - The Reluctant Prostate

by Simon 17 Replies latest social humour

  • Simon
    Simon

    Hey everyone, I'm writing a new book.

    It's the entirely fictional story about a character called "Roy Devons", an obese clown who was kicked out of clown college because he couldn't stop touching himself. He launches his own YouTube channel where he tells the world how wrong and unfunny clowns really are. The world already knows this, and never really had much todo with clowns anyway, although some other ex-clowns felt like they needed to be reminded regularly of their past lives.

    He hits upon the idea of asking for donations to support efforts to convince ex-clowns to get their prostates checked. A worthy cause that no one could object to, and members of the Ex-Clown Assholes reddit group voice their support.

    But instead of helping anyone, he goes on a luxury vacation where he meets some young prostitutes, and decides to spend the money on them instead. Not to help any of them escape their misery, but to help himself. Finally, he isn't just some sad, fat, ex-clown touching himself. Now he's a sad, fat, ex-clown paying hookers to touch him instead. It makes him feel happy.

    Upon his return he discovers that word of his touchy-touchy has gotten out, and some ex-clowns now think he's disgusting, while others, mostly the Assholes group, think he's heroic. He gives a speech about how his life was once one of misery, how he was altered forever by someone finding him touching himself while wearing official clown garments, and how he now finally feels free. Also, that he's keeping the rest of the money.

    Clown media lights up over the revelations and there is much debate.

    A few years later he dies alone from AIDS caught off a cheap Thai hooker.

    The end.

    If you enjoy my stories, please consider subscribing to my channel ...

  • usualusername1
    usualusername1

    Simon this may be your discussion board but behave 😃

  • Sea Breeze
    Sea Breeze
    A few years later he dies alone from AIDS caught off a cheap Thai hooker.

    This is not so far-fetched a story. Kung Fu star David Caradine apparently had a similar "reluctant prostate" and was found in a Thai hotel room with a rope tied to his neck and genitals, Thai police said.

    Should have stuck with tradition medicine.

  • sparrowdown
    sparrowdown

    Lol a list of alternate titles to Lloyd’s book? Yeah I’ll have a go hmmm 🤔

    The Reluctant Sex Addict

    Story starts when a sexually oppressed incel realises his dream of becoming a brave and stunning advocate for sexual addiction and catalogues his adventures as he screws his way across the world. Bringing hope to sex addicts everywhere coz SA’s are people too 🥺.

  • MeanMrMustard
    MeanMrMustard

    I see what you did there.

  • NonCoinCollector
    NonCoinCollector
    Come listen to my story about a man named John
    A poor Englishman, fed is family with Patreon,
    And then one day he was off to Thailand,
    Reports have it with his willy in his hand...

  • Nathan Natas
    Nathan Natas

    ROTFLMFAO!

    "TESTICLE, BROTHER SIMON, TESTICLE! AMEN!"

  • Nathan Natas
    Nathan Natas

    An alternate title to Lloyd’s book: The Impetuous Hypocrite.

  • hoser
    hoser

    Based on a true story

  • slimboyfat
    slimboyfat

    The tears of a clown.

    Here is a suggestive front cover image that could be reused.


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