I still believe in God but

by azaria 20 Replies latest jw friends

  • azaria
    azaria

    As before in my other posts I apologize if this post is incoherent and if I rambled on too long. It’s been a few months since I last posted.

    I’m just starting to understand the feeling of isolation and loneliness that one feels when they leave the JW org. I have been with a Christian Reformed Church for 14 years and in one night I go from someone with peace to someone that feels that they were in a cult for 14 years. I feel I was totally naive-I thought this was a benign religion, mainstream, what could possibly go wrong?

    I beg God not to forsake me; that I don’t understand Calvinism nor Election-it makes absolutely no sense to me. I am tormented, I cry. Yet they don’t understand what I’m going through. They have been raised in this religion since infancy, their parents, grandparents-who knows how far back). The very thing I criticized the JW org for, this church does also. (don't question, some things are not for us to understand,that certain people are chosen-and we have to accept that. "Joy is to be found in the knowledge of salvation". (I think so many people think in abstract terms; that to consider thinking about someone else being tormented maybe doesn't even cross their minds, because they have been saved or (a better word) chosen) I have been with this church for 14 years. I thought that I had finally found it (peace, a sense of belonging, and in one night the rug is pulled from under me) I’m made to feel that either I have no right to question God (which I don’t believe I am doing) "It is His good pleasure" (that God can do what He wants), or you’re running ahead of yourself (you’re imagination is running away with you) I do fear to ask the question but I know that I have to know the answer. Their answers are to me so indirect (give it time- you will in time understand-don’t go ahead of yourself) When I posted here in the past I would talk about freedom of choice-I still believe it-otherwise it’s just a cosmic game or joke. The CRC believes one thing and I believe another. So now I feel I can’t go back to the church-I can’t go back to something that I don’t believe in. I feel that I may be losing my friends. For a time I thought I had lost God (or maybe that I never had Him) I pray to God to hold me and give me wisdom to understand and get through this period of my life. I feel that I can’t truly talk to them because then I might be considered an enemy of their truth. I have to understand the history of this church. I know (being Dutch myself) that many Dutch people tend to be severe, strict (not all - probably the more south you go, the less severe, and the more north (Friesland) the more severe. The interesting thing is that many CRC are from Friesland and I wonder if the people of the south tend more to be Catholic. I’m not attacking the people of the CRC faith. It’s the doctrine that I have a problem with. I agreed with everything that I had learned through the CRC but this is an obstacle that I don’t think I can ignore or overcome. (I wonder how many CRC members truly understand or even know about Election?) I’m made to feel that I’m too emotional and don’t have all the facts yet. I see a red flag but I’m made to feel that I’m treading where I shouldn’t be treading, that I’m questioning God himself. This sounds so much like JW talk to me.

    And now I have to start looking again. So many negative things have been said about the Catholic Church. Now I’m starting to question that negativity. (This is not saying that I accept all Catholic doctrine all of a sudden-but I will look into it) I read both Calvin and Catholic beliefs and so far I believe what the Catholics believe. Is it because it is more palatable? I believe in a just and loving God, and with Calvinism I don’t see a just and loving God, that gives us free will. I have so many objections with the Catholic church but is it enough to reject it altogether? I think I can sooner sit beside someone who prays to Mary holding her rosary beads then someone who thinks that they are chosen. I do feel hopeful that I will find the truth. God does promise that if you seek you will find and so I hang on to that. I have not rejected God; I have rejected a doctrine-a belief of a man and his followers.

  • concerned mama
    concerned mama

    Well, oh my goodness! Azaria, I was raised Christian Reformed! I remember having to sit still though long services, sometimes with guest ministers speaking in Dutch, which I do not understand at all. I have vague memories of not be allowed to do much of anything not church related on Sunday. I remember when I was young, that dancing and movies were not allowed. I remember with fondness the sense of community, and being distantly related to so many people that attended the same church.

    My family left that church when I was a teenager, so I don't recall much doctrine at all. I likely wouldn't agree with all of their doctrine if I did look into it. I don't agree with it all at the Anglican Church, where I attend occasionally now, however the priest there is a fantastic speaker and extremely thought provoking and I enjoy the sermons. I think my own spirituality is based on kindness, and acceptance and forgiveness and love, and most of all it has to make sense to me.

    I was recently back to a CR Church for the first time in years, for a funeral of a cousin. It was a lovely service, the hymns were familiar and the pastor (not reverend anymore) spoke elequently of the man who died and warm words of comfort to his family. As funerals go, it was great.

    I couldn't rejoin the CRC. I suspect it is far too rigid for me. Because I was curious, I did find an excellent website that explained a lot of the changes in policy and doctrine, and you can look there to see if it answers any of your questions. I don't worry much about the details. There is no perfect church. I believe what feels right.

  • fran
    fran

    i was raised a catholic,very strict,then years later a JW, then during my time of confusion (coming out)I ran around looking for God this church,that church,which church?All different,then i came upon signs and wonders, was told i could be 'a god',health an wealth,prosperity,gold teeth.I thought the whole world has gone nuts.

    It was a nightmare,then i discovered the true church are the People.His bride,a PERSON not a place.How to be,Love the excelling way,not man made rules and traditions.i attend a baptist church now,and recently looking into 'reformed'Churches,I feel free to do this now that i know WHO to belong to,not about buildings.this is where Christians meet to encourage one another,Also home fellowships.True believers are everywhere to be found..........When Jesus sets you free you really are free.........Fear dissapears.

  • Undecided
    Undecided

    I think you will find that all religion is based on the imagination of some man. One man has no more information than the next about who God is or what he thinks. There are books and religions based on these books or traditions but no real revelation from a God. I think if you want to be a spiritual person it must be a personal feeling you develope yourself. Let no one tell you what you must believe or do to please some God. If it feels right to you and gives you peace follow your heart.

    Ken P.

  • rekless
    rekless

    If you want to have a relationship with a god, buy yourself a fishing pole, some bait and some favorite adult beverage. Then put the bait on the hook throw it in the water, take a long sip, quinch your thirst and just talk to the god you believe in.

  • Dawn
    Dawn

    and just talk to the god you believe in.

    Reckless is absolutely right. You do not have to be in church to find God - you can find him anywhere and talk to him any time. It sounds to me like it might be time to take a step back, pray to God, and ask HIM where he wants you to go. Then just listen for his answer. Don't run out trying to find a replacement church - take your time - you'll find the right one when the time is right.

  • got my forty homey?
    got my forty homey?

    After leaving the organization I started to feel a religous emptiness as well. I went to the Catholic church and found it boring yet mystical. Loved the short services, 20 minutes! But I didn't understand what the Father was talking about, I think he was speaking Latin?

    I started hanging with Muslims and reading the Quran, but I found it even more boring than JW's and I found it kind of violent in nature.

    Got involved with Santeria also but I found just a bunch of scummy people always looking to rip people off for their money for spells and animal sacrifices.

    After all that I gave up and decided if I want to pray to God I just will, if I want to thank God for a safe trip from work I will, etc. I treat others as if I want them to treat me, I dont bother anybody, I go to work & keep to myself and thats that.

  • JamesThomas
    JamesThomas

    As fickle humans we usually have in place many demands and hoops which people must meet and jump through in order to qualify as our friends. This seems to be human nature and there isn't much of a problem with it; however, problems do arise when we attribute these same carnal characteristics to God. In my opinion we need to keep our head buried fairly deep up our in the sand, in order to make for smooth sailing when worshipping anthropomorphic deities. If you are getting a little tired of the exclusionary nature of Christianity with it's interpretation of god who has room for only a "chosen" few, then expanding ones sense of God may help. Perhaps the distance between us and God is only in our head, and there is no exclusion at all. j

  • AwakenedAndFree
    AwakenedAndFree
    Dawn said:"You do not have to be in church to find God - you can find him anywhere and talk to him any time. "

    ACTS:17,24,25: (24) :"The God that made the world and all the things in it , being as this One is. Lord of heaven and earth, does not dwell in handmade temples. (25):" neither is he attended to by human hands as if he needed anything, because he himself gives to all (persons) life and breath and all things."NWT

    AAF

  • Double Edge
    Double Edge

    Follow the example of Jesus and keep it simple. Love God and your neighbor, follow the "golden rule" ... and as He said.. on that lay all of the laws and the prophets.

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