It's official... I've been shunned by my supervisor

by Elsewhere 21 Replies latest jw friends

  • Panda
    Panda

    Don't forget he probably has allies among your co-workers. They sympathize with his position. You are the new upstart causing their boss to be uncomfortable. You absolutely must keep a diary. When he starts to blast you in progress reports you need to be ready to talk to human resources. Also, make sure to note the date of your discussion about JW/xJW and how it would be no big deal. This is important to establish his early knowledge of the situation and the fact that he claimed it'd be no problem. Don't talk to him about this, go to human resources and speak to someone.

    If you want to test the co-worker waters --- just get ready to go to lunch one day --- ask "where are you guys going today, mind if I join you?" You will know by the answer how you stand.

    Focus on your work and keep a diary.

  • wednesday
    wednesday

    keep a close eye on him and write down everything. I once worked at a place and some jws went around telling everyone i was DF and a woman actually came up to me and adked if i had been kicked out of my church. Imagine how i felt. And , just so u know, they did get rid of me. I did not know what i know now, and it was many moons ago.Of course i let them get away wikth it b/c i felt lower than pond scum.

  • Scully
    Scully

    Elsewhere

    I've mentioned this book on another thread already, but it bears repeating here, because the behaviour your supervisor is exhibiting falls right into the category, even though it has its roots in his religious beliefs. It's called Mobbing - Emotional Abuse in the American Workplace, authored by Noa Davenport, Ph.D., Ruth Distler Schwartz, and Gail Pursell Elliott.

    Here is an excerpt from chapter one: "What Mobbing Is and How It Happens"

    When I say that evil has to do with killing, I do not mean to restrict myself to corporal murder. Evil is also that which kills spirit - M. Scott Peck, People of the Lie: The Hope for Healing Human Evil

    Mobbing is an emotional assault. It begins when an individual becomes the target of disrespectful and harmful behavior. Through innuendo, rumors, and public discrediting, a hostile environment is created in which one individual gathers others to willingly, or unwillingly, participate in continuous malevolent actions to force a person out of the workplace.

    These actions escalate into abusive and terrorizing behavior. The victim feels increasingly helpless when the organization does not put a stop to the behavior or may even plan or condone it.

    As a result, the individual experiences increasing distress, illness, and social misery. Frequently, productivity is affected and victims begin to use sick leave to try to recover from the daily pressures and torment. Depression or accidents may occur. Resignation, termination, or early retirement, the negotiated voluntary or involuntary expulsion from the workplace, follows.

    For the victim, death - through illness or suicide - may be the final chapter in the mobbing story.

    For the organization, mobbing is like a cancer. Beginning with one malignant cell, it can spread quickly, destroying vital elements of the organization. Remedial action must be taken at an early stage.

    Aggression Against "Anyone": Workplace Expulsion
    Mobbing is aggression against "anyone" - rather than specific discrimination against someone based on age, gender, race, creed, nationality, disability or pregnancy - using harassing, abusive and often terrorizing behaviors. Mobbing is done intentionally to force the person out of the workplace.

    Two different types of such malevolent conduct can be identified: active aggression and passive aggression. These tactics vary according to the subtlety of the aggressor. Passive aggressives are a special problem, since they can wrap their malevolence in acts of occasional kindness and politeness.

    Injury Not Illness
    The psychological consequences of mobbing should be termed in an injury not an illness, thus attributing the cause of the suffering to the persons who intentionally inflicted the harm.

    Mobbing TypologyDr. Heinz Leymann identified 45 mobbing behaviors and grouped them in five different categories, depending on the nature of the behavior. See boxes on the following pages. Not all of these will happen in every case.

    Any one of these behaviors, taken alone, may be despicable, uncivilized, and generally not acceptable. Any one, by itself, could possibly be tolerated as a sometime occurrence, or brushed off by assuming that a person doing such a thing might be having a bad day. And who has not? However, when these behaviors are displayed continuously and in many different variations, they become intentional abuse and create terror.

    In the U.S., some of the discriminatory behaviors mentioned in category three, and any of the outright physical assault behaviors mentioned in category five, are illegal and covered by laws in all 50 states. They would be, taken by themselves, ample grounds if the affected persons wanted to file a law suit. The majority of behaviors in categories one, two and four fall into behaviors that are considered within any employer's prerogative. Although considered management of the worst kind, there is no basis, as yet, that would allow one to build a legal case. Exceptions are: oral or written threats, and management that orders colleagues not to speak with you. Should you be given meaningless tasks to do or ones that are below your qualifications, this could be construed as another prerogative of the employer.

    Leymann's Typology

    First Category: Impact on Self-Expression and the Way Communication Happens

    1. Your superior restricts the opportunity for you to express yourself.
    2. You are interrupted constantly.
    3. Colleagues/co-workers restrict your opportunity to express yourself.
    4. You are yelled at and scolded loudly.
    5. Your work is constantly criticized.
    6. There is constant criticism about your private life.
    7. You are terrorized on the telephone.
    8. Oral threats are made.
    9. Written threats are sent.
    10. Contact is denied through looks or gestures.
    11. Contact is denied through innuendoes.

    Second Category: Attacks On One's Social Relations

    1. People do not speak with you anymore.
    2. You cannot talk to anyone, i.e., access to others is denied.
    3. You are put into a workspace that is isolated from others.
    4. Colleagues are forbidden to talk with you.
    5. You are treated as if you are invisible.

    Third Category: Attacks on Your Reputation

    1. People talk badly about you behind your back.
    2. Unfounded rumors are circulated.
    3. You are ridiculed.
    4. You are treated as if you are mentally ill.
    5. You are forced to undergo psychiatric evaluation/examination.
    6. A handicap is ridiculed.
    7. People imitate your gestures, walk, voice to ridicule you.
    8. Your political or religious beliefs are ridiculed.
    9. Your private life is ridiculed.
    10. Your nationality is ridiculed.
    11. You are forced to do a job that affects your self-esteem.
    12. Your efforts are judged in a wrong and demeaning way.
    13. Your decisions are always questioned.
    14. You are called demeaning names.
    15. Sexual innuendoes.

    Fourth Category: Attacks on the Quality of One's Professional and Life Situation

    1. There are no special tasks for you.
    2. Supervisors take away assignments, so you cannot even invent new tasks to do.
    3. You are given meaningless jobs to carry out.
    4. You are given tasks below your qualifications.
    5. You are continuously given new tasks.
    6. You are given tasks that affect your self-esteem.
    7. You are given tasks that are way beyond your qualifications, in order to discredit you.
    8. Causing general damages that create financial costs to you.
    9. Damaging your home or workplace.

    Fifth Category: Direct Attacks on a Person's Health

    1. You are forced to do a physically strenuous job.
    2. Threats of physical violence are made.
    3. Light violence is used to threaten you.
    4. Physical abuse.
    5. Outright sexual harassment.

    Mobbing as a ProcessIt is important to stress that mobbing happens as a process of abusive behaviors inflicted over time. It begins insidiously, and soon gains such momentum that a point of no return is reached. Like a tornado, the events escalate into a spiral. So what exactly does happen when mobbing occurs?

    Leyman distinguishes five phases in the mobbing process:

    Phase 1 is characterized by a critical incident, a conflict. In itself, this is not yet mobbing. It can, however, develop into mobbing behaviors.

    Phase 2 is characterized by aggressive acts and psychological assaults that set the mobbing dynamics into motion.

    Phase 3 then involves management that plays a part in the negative cycle by misjudging the situation if they have not already been participating in phase 2. Instead of extending support, they begin the isolation and expulsion process.

    Phase 4 is critical, as victims are now branded as difficult or mentally ill. This misjudgment by management and health professionals reinforces the negative cycle. It almost always will lead to expulsion or forced resignation.

    Phase 5 is the expulsion. The trauma of this event can, additionally, trigger post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). After the expulsion, the emotional distress and the ensuing psychosomatic illnesses continue and often intensify.

    Degrees of Mobbing
    We have found it helpful to distinguish three major degrees of mobbing - first, second, and third - according to the different effects mobbing has on an individual. In analogy to the different degrees of injuries suffered from burning, the distinction indicates how deeply a person has been "burned" or "scarred" by the experience.

    We do not use a scientific scale to assess these degrees but rather the different effects this experience had on us and our interview partners. The degrees are determined by a number of factors. In addition to the intensity, duration, and frequency of the mobbing, the psychology of the mobbed individuals, their upbringing, past experiences, and general circumstances are also considered. The scale only indicates how people can be affected differently by similar experiences.

    Mobbing of the first degree: The individual manages to resist, escapes at an early stage, or is fully rehabilitated in the same workplace or somewhere else.

    Mobbing of the second degree: The individual cannot resist, nor escape immediately, and suffers temporary or prolonged mental and/or physical disability, and has difficulty re-entering the workforce.

    Mobbing of the third degree: The affected person is unable to re-enter the workplace. The physical and mental injuries are such that rehabilitation seems unlikely, unless a very specialized treatment protocol is being applied.

    It goes without saying that concepts such as prolonged, temporary, or frequent cannot be usefully quantified. The only measure of the intensity is the subjective assessment by the targeted individual. What clearly feels like mobbing to one person may not yet be considered such by someone else.

    Further on in the book the authors define and outline ten key factors that identify The Mobbing Syndrome.

    The mobbing syndrome is a malicious attempt to force a person out of the workplace through unjustified accusations, humiliation, general harassment, emotional abuse and/or terror.

    It is a "ganging up" by the leader(s) - organization, superior, co-worker, or subordinate - who rallies others into systematic and frequent "mob-like" behavior.

    Because the organization ignores, condones or even instigates the behavior, it can be said that the victim, seemingly helpless against the powerful and many, is indeed "mobbed". The result is always injury - physical or mental distress or illness and social misery and, most often, expulsion from the workplace.

    Ten Key Factors of the Mobbing Syndrome

    The mobbing syndrome contains ten distinctive factors that occur in various combinations, systematically, and frequently. The impact of these factors on the targeted person then becomes the major element of the mobbing syndrome.

    1. Assaults on the dignity, integrity, credibility and professional competence of employees.
    2. Negative, humiliating, intimidating, abusive, malevolent, and controlling communication.
    3. Committed directly, or indirectly, in subtle or obvious ways.
    4. Perpetrated by one or more staff members - "vulturing".
    5. Occurring in a continual, multiple, and systematic fashion, over some time.
    6. Portraying the victimized person as being at fault.
    7. Engineered to discredit, confuse, intimidate, isolate, and force the person into submission.
    8. Committed with the intent to force the person out.
    9. Representing the removal from the workplace as the victim's choice.
    10. Not recognized, misinterpreted, ignored, tolerated, encouraged, or even instigated by the management of the organization.

    Please, as other posters have mentioned, do yourself a favor and start documenting all incidents that could be construed as a systematic effort to get you to leave, or ruin your professional credibilty. It took you a long time to get this job that you enjoy and are qualified to do, and you really don't want this jerk of a JW supervisor ruining it for you and also making a negative impact on your ability to find new work if you decide to look for another job.

    Hang in there, buddy. We're all rooting for you.

    Love, Scully

  • ozziepost
    ozziepost
    the "Deer in the Headlights" look

    LOL Good one! Very apt.

    I've seen this happen too in the workplace. There was one Catholic employer who saw it happen and he was greatly offended that one of his staff should be acting that way "in the workplace". He took action that's better than legal action, for he and his wife sure told a lot of people the truth about "the Troof". Those people will never be entertaining the dubs at their door. He cut off the borg's tentacles at source.

    Cheers, OzzieCheers 2

  • Panda
    Panda

    I think you're at stage 3 of the Mobbing book phases. Really this is serious. Maybe you should get a copy of the book and set it on your desk?

    Are others in the office decorating their areas for Christmas? You should too. And if the boss puts any decorations up, or organizes gift exchange or anuthing... tell him you're glad to see him expressing himself. And BTW Merry Christmas.

  • ESTEE
    ESTEE

    Ick...Elsewhere...I'm sorry to hear...

    You might want to start logging events and occurrences...'cuz that sounds exactly like what Scully is describing...

    You deserve better...

    ESTEE

  • imallgrowedup
    imallgrowedup

    Elsewhere -

    What you are describing is called "Harassment in the Workplace" and under US federal law it is ILLEGAL in any work environment with 12 or more employees! I have personal experience with this law, and I can tell you that it is extremely important to document EVERYTHING!

    I am not a lawyer, so you will want to check with one to verify what I am telling you, but here is what I've learned:

    1. An employee may claim "harassment" if any situation in the workplace creates a "hostile environment" which in turn, makes them feel "uncomfortable". The "uncomfortable" feeling does not necessarily have to affect the quality or quantity of the employee's work - only the level of "comfort" in the work environment which any reasonable person would also feel given the same set of circumstances.

    2. "Harassment" does not have to come from only people above you - it can also come from peers and those who aspire to the position you hold. Therefore, anyone IN ADDITION to your supervisor who "shuns" you and causes you to feel "uncomfortable" is just as guilty as your supervisor. Be sure to document them as well.

    3. If you ever think you may have to go to court over this, you will need to be able to show that you have confronted the harasser(s) and asked them to stop. Ideally, you want to do this with a witness. If you are not comforable in confronting your harasser(s), then you may report the problem to Human Resources, the harrasser(s)' supervisor(s), or your own supervisor (if he/she is not the actual harasser). Most often, anyone who intervenes on your behalf will want a written statement from you. If they don't ask you for one, ask them if you can put your complaint in writing - and be SURE to get a copy of your complaint. If they tell you "no" - they are in violation of the law. Insist that the signature of the person to whom you are complaining is on the document, as well as the date and time of the complaint. If you skip this step, your case could be thrown out of court, no matter how strong any other evidence you may have supporting your allegations may be.

    4. Choosing to confront your harasser(s) either on your own or through an intermediary can be difficult. Many don't do it because they don't want their identity revealed more than they want the behavior to stop. The law is set up to protect your identity, however, most times the accused harasser(s) don't have much trouble figuring out who is accusing them. This is something to keep in mind when deciding whether to confront your harasser(s) or not.

    5. The law allows the harasser(s) one chance at correcting the "environment", unless the incident is severe (such as in the case of rape, or something along those lines). As the "victim" you won't be privvy to the type of disciplinary action taken, but if the case ever goes to court and the company did not properly document the corrective action taken, they are in deep, deep doo doo. The good news is that the Human Resources department and/or the Harasser(s)' Supervisor(s) should let you know when your "environment" should be free of hostility.

    6. HR and/or the harasser(s)' supervisor(s) must get back with you within a "reasonable" amount of time (i.e. within several common working days in which both the documenter(s) and the harasser(s) both work). The company is allowed to conduct their own investigation, however, they are to take your complaint seriously, and respond in a timely manner with their findings. If they do not, again, the company is in deep, deep doo doo.

    7. The next part of the law deals with retaliation, and the court severely frowns upon any case where retaliation can be proven. If any employee is retaliated against because they have reported harassment, then the company can be held liable. Retaliation can include anything from demotions, schedule changes which do not affect others within the same department or class, changes in work assignments, to termination without well-documented cause. Also - any form of retaliation which takes place AWAY from company property and OFF company time can still be considered retaliation - for example - slashed tires, or provocation of a verbal or physical fight in any pubic or private place (i.e. Kingdom Halls or your own home).

    8. You have the right to sue your company if the harassment does not stop even after you have reported it, if you have been retaliated against for reporting the harassment and your company allows the retaliation, or if your company does not find a way to create a more hospitable environment for the you - by essentially turning a blind eye to the harassing behavior. Your company can be held liable for a maximum of (I think) $3million (it might be $6million - I can't remember) per incident. In cases where companies do not have a written harassment policy and/or training and awareness program, I believe a victim can sue for as much in damages as they dare to ask - in other words, no cap on the damage award. ADDITIONALLY, the victim may personally sue their harasser(s) - which would make your boss one unhappy jw.

    If I were you, I would contact a lawyer just to find out your rights and what you should do if this situation continues or worsens. Also, when/if it comes time to confront your harasser(s), I would choose to go through HR only and make a written complaint. This way there will be a record of your complaint, with names, dates, times, and specific details. (This is another good reason to keep a record of everything that happens before making the official complaint). The other reason it is good to contact your HR department is because if your supervisor decides to even passively-agressively retaliate against you in any way, your job will be protected because of your written complaint. Verbally asking your harasser(s) to stop without any written record does NOT protect you from retaliation unless you can prove you verbally asked your harasser(s) to stop. Tough to prove. Again, check with a lawyer to see what they would advise you to do.

    You got this job because of the skills and other attributes you possess. It is not fair or LEGAL to be pushed out of that job - either through termination, transfer or demotion - or through the simple choice of quitting - just because one individual, or group of individuals makes it uncomfortable for you to be there. The law is on YOUR side - do all you can to make it work for you!

    growedup

  • zion sleeping
    zion sleeping

    If you recall, sometime ago when you first posted about this . I said @ the first opportune time he would slam dunk you... BUDDY ITS COMING go to the front office, talk to Personnel people, explain how the witness feel about ex's, GET THE HELL OUT OF HIS OFFICE IF YOU CAN. If not let others know what's going on before he builds a case against you, and gets you fired!ITS ONLY A MATTER OF TIME TICK TICK TICK TICK

  • Stephanus
    Stephanus

    What Zion said. And ImallGrowedUp.

    See HR and/or see about a transfer to a group under another supervisor.

  • Stephanus
    Stephanus

    BTW, Elsewhere, any further updates on this rivetting saga?

    (Clears throat and put's on best movie trailer voice-over voice): "HE was a man with a mission; nothing could stand between him and total workplace domination, in the name of "the Truth"! That is, until the day of the arrival of: The Apostate from Elsewhere! One man, sworn to protect those entrapped in illusion and deceit; whose relentless quest could never allow him rest, until the final downfall of: The Tower! Their paths would cross and culminate in a battle of momentous proportions. Only one can be the victor!

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